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Dick Tracy, 10/8/24

New Dick Tracy story, everybody! It’s with a guest writer and guest artist but in keeping with the vibe of present-day Dick Tracy, it’s name-checking a beloved villain from the past, who despite being named “Arson” was a guy who used nitroglycerine to blow up safes. Anyway, I like the final panel, where Sam Catchem is grotesquely leering over Jay Scarborough’s corpse. I’m assuming we can’t see most of the vic’s face because it’s been hamburgerized by one to several bullets, and Sam is contemplating the limits of facial recognition AI.

Gasoline Alley, 10/8/24

Speaking of AI, who would’ve thought that Gasoline Alley, that most ancient and hoary of comic strips, would feature not one but multiple artificial intelligences? We’ve already met ART, the Automatic Robotic Tech-nurse, and today we encounter his (?) son (???), Arty, an AI doll, whose main purpose seems to be to compete against, and perhaps defeat in combat, evil magic dolls like Ida Noe. I say let ’em duke it out! I will be more than willing to pledge allegiance to the winner.

Gil Thorp, 10/8/24

While Gil is laid up in bed, the Mudlarks fight on, led by Assistant Coaches Martinez and Ochoa in his absence. Anyway, turns out Assistant Coaches Martinez and Ochoa suck ass! “I’m struggling out there, coach.” “Right, that’s because they know Coach Thorp isn’t here! They’re exploiting our weaknesses, especially our coaching weaknesses! Now get out there and win, or you’re personally failing Gil!”

Mary Worth, 10/8/24

Wait, did we know that Estelle was a widow? Did she murder Jimmy, because he didn’t pay close enough attention to her? I’m very much looking forward to this flashback, because I assume it’ll answer these questions, and I also assume it’ll take place in the ’90s and I want to see what the Mary Worth team thinks grunge fashion looks like.

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Gil Thorp, 10/1/24

Ah, well, it seems that Gil’s airborne lovefest under old artist Rod Whigham was some kind of hallucination he was having during a massive cardiac event on the sideline of a football game, and now, under new artist Rachel Merrill, he lingers comatose in a hospital, kept alive by machines the size of a 1950s mainframe computer. Anyway, this is a perfect time for Keri to confess to bulimia, I guess, and just like the time in Mary Worth when Dr. Jeff’s drippy daughter accepted her cop boyfriend’s proposal when he was in a coma, this will only lead to positive outcomes.

Gasoline Alley, 10/1/24

Gasoline Alley will never try to confuse us with abrupt narrative shifts. In fact, if characters who we last saw a year and a half ago appear in the strip, Gasoline Alley will remind you what their names are by having another character say them out loud, in bold type! Gasoline Alley is just thoughtful like that, and as a rapidly aging member of its audience, I appreciate it.

Mary Worth, 10/1/24

Sorry, Estelle, I know your mind is clouded with sorrow right now, but you had both these pets for some time before you met Ed, so he can’t possibly have achieved “daddy” status with them. Technically Wilbur owned Pierre before he handed him off to you because of their complete failure to bond emotionally, so to Pierre Wilbur is daddy! Frankly this just seems to be pointing towards a reunion wiOH NO OH NO OH NO ABORT ABORT ABORT

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Gil Thorp, 9/29/24

As Uncle Lumpy noted last week, longtime Gil Thorp artist Rod Whigham is retiring from the strip, with today being his last entry. I’ve actually been blogging long enough that I remember when he was new Gil Thorp artist Rod Whigham! Ha ha haha haha HA HAH AHA HAHHA [cackles like the Cryptkeeper and then crumbles into dust] Where was I? Oh, right, today is Rod’s last strip, and in it Gil’s lovely plane ride is … fading into nonexistence? As we hear a doctor desperately trying to restart somebody’s heart? Is Whigham closing up shop and taking the Thorpverse with him???? Honestly I had not worried much up to this point that I might have been created by an omnipotent being who could at any time decide to quit His job and take my whole reality with Him, but now I’m going to be worrying about nothing else!

Pardon My Planet, 9/29/24

The “If They Were Alive Today” box implies that we’re going to get a whole series of these dated, shitty, mean-spirited jokes about various historical figures and what they might think about the hottest celebs of 2008, but don’t worry: Pardon My Planet simply doesn’t have that kind of follow-through.