Archive: Gil Thorp

Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/1/18

Ah, Snuffy and Lukey are having a good laff, over the idea of a whole Congression’l District of Smifs! Of course, none of Snuffy’s relatives would have any intention of voting, paying taxes, obeying laws that restrict their whims, or otherwise buying into the scam of representative democracy. That’s why it’s so funny!

Dick Tracy, 9/1/18

I get that Sam and Dick are pleased, but those aren’t “Yay, we’re going to solve a mystery!” smiles. Those are “Looks like someone’s about to be shot multiple times in the face while ‘resisting arrest’” smiles.

Crankshaft, 9/1/18

Hey guys, for total verisimilitude, please go back and read the last year or so of Crankshaft, strips, and for every one that takes place on his bus, imagine a faint but distinct odor of stale vomit.

Gil Thorp, 9/1/18

I guarantee you that Gil has whined about “participation trophies” at some point in his life, but it appears the punchline for this summer’s golf storyline is “not cheating is basically winning!!!!” Bring on the bonfire, I’m begging you

Post Content

Mark Trail, 8/28/18

Oh, wow, a genuine twist! It seems that Rusty and Mara’s lovable pal/personal chauffeur Jose is in on the artifact-napping ring! I’m not sure if taking Rusty and Mara directly to the location where the big artifact exchange was going down and letting them roam around unsupervised while drool-napping was the master plan laid out by “Joe”‘s presumably gringo bosses, or if our guy is just too darn sleepy to be an effective henchman. But the important thing we’ve learned is that, while north of the border a “gig” is a woman who enjoys sex, south of the Rio Grande it refers to “an elaborate scheme to plunder Mexico’s cultural heritage.” Please make a note of it.

Gil Thorp, 8/28/18

Gil has finally decided how he’s going to combat cheating: he’s going to have his own very special Milford Invitation Golf Tournament To Which No Cheaters Are Invited! I mean, presumably this tournament doesn’t have the prestige of whatever tournament the cheating kids got to go to, but, when you think about it, how much prestige does any given golf tournament have, anyway, I mean, really, come on, it’s frickin’ golf, man.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 8/23/18

Welp, it’s taken a while, but this Mark Trail storyline has finally settled into a groove, and that groove is mysterious, silent figures staring at our protagonists from a few feet away, causing a weirdly mild degree of consternation rather than the full-on terror that normal humans would experience. Shadow and light flicker across the scene, seemingly disconnected from any actual light source. It’s a horrifying dreamscape, in other words, and it’s only going to get more surreal and nightmarish as our curious children go deeper into this temple of awful secrets. Also, Rusty, has a new nickname, and it’s “crime dog” for some reason! Ha ha! “Crime dog!” Arf arf!

Gil Thorp, 8/23/18

“Hey, Josh,” you were probably extremely not wondering, “how’s that Gil Thorp golf plot going?” Well, the golf plot turns out to be a plot about golf cheating, which allows Gil to thunder extremely self-righteously about how golf is a sport built on honor, so that’s how it’s going, I regret to inform you. Gil seems beaten down here, longing for just a few short weeks from today, when he’ll be coaching football, a sport built openly on lies and deceit.

Pluggers, 8/23/18

Pluggers feel the icy hand of death on their neck literally every day of their rapidly shortening lives.