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Hey everyone, I know what you’re thinking: “Early comments of the week? Does that mean that Josh is going to be going on another vacation?” Sure does! But for a lucky few, that means you’ll get to meet me in person in Tucson next Friday. I’m going to try to make this a regular part of my travels, so perhaps this will ease the pain of my vacations somewhat. In the mean time, you’ll be in the hands of the inestimable Uncle Lumpy ’till Monday 3/10.

Oh, and before the CsOTW, I do have something for your delectation from faithful reader Andrew Leal: a compilation of the greatest panels from retired Gil Thorp artist Frank McLaughlin:

Ahhhh, takes you back, doesn’t it?

Anyway, here’s this week’s COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Hey, look, Lu Ann! Wolves! Here, let me throw you to them.” –Darkefang

And the runners-up … also hilarious

“Tuesday’s FBoFW is dreadful, in the sense that it genuinely inspires dread.” –Trilobite

“Pray all you want, Frosty, summer’s still coming. AND WITH IT YOUR DOOM.” –Inspector Dim

“When Dee married into the Patterson clan, she became The Human Uterus. She exists solely to incubate, birth, and raise Michael’s spawn, so all her deprecated body functions (abstract thought, aesthetic pleasance) have been steadily degrading ever since.” –commodorejohn

“Shouldn’t [the snowman] be given some clothes to wear before he starts praying? At least Frosty had the decency to put on a hat!” –BigTed

“Yikes. You could stick a cello in Funky’s crotch, and I don’t mean that in a good way.” –gkl

“Maybe Snowman Larry would be happier if he had some GIANT FUCKING GLASSES. You know, like the most striking and easily drawable visual feature of the real Larry King. I understand you can’t draw the smell of Vick’s Vap-o-Rub and cheap hookers, but I think the Keanes could have tried a little bit harder on this caricature.” –The Other Commenter

“‘Belly Laffs’ is truly baffling. Where is this published? in Terrible Joke A Day Weekly? She’s typing, so it appears not to be a comic strip; one has to imagine the joke without the accompanying picture, which, to be fair, would make it easier to ignore.” –Evan

“Snowman Larry King looks kind of beat down. He probably just noticed that Josh has paired him with ‘Belly Laffs’ and realizes there’s something worse than melting.” –kingklash

“It’s the smug smile of satisfaction on Jenny’s face as she ‘writes’ this tripe that gets me. As if she’s sitting there convinced that she’s churning out Pulitzer winning material and is at that moment planning which hideous turtleneck she’ll wear when she accepts the award.” –ConcreteQueen

“A-Train doesn’t seem to mind the intrusions though. He’s too busy trying to impress her with his suave, ‘I know how to purchase a money order’ smile.” –# ar_d

See ya next Monday, everyone! Be nice to your favorite Uncle.

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Apartment 3-G, 2/28/08

Good lord, is there anything more divine than imagining a timid and baffled Lu Ann on some sort of weird A3G approximation of The View? I can just see her shrinking with embarassment further and further down into her seat as Whoopi Goldberg and Elisabeth Hasselback scream at each other about the merits of modern art or something. Then Margo would burst onto the set, slap Whoopi and Elisabeth, and, eyes flashing with fire, bellow “This interview is over!” at Barbara Walters. Next, taking off one shoe, she’d…

…OK, I’m officially a little too excited by this scenario.

Gil Thorp, 2/28/08

The sad Tale of Andrew The Abandoned Boy continues, with the A-Train forced to boil things for his little siblings while his father heroically protects U.S. State Department officials with Blackwater. Today, I’m mostly troubled by whatever the hell is going on under the narration box in panel two. It looks like Andrew is programming some sort of 1950s-era computer, complete with a slot for a punch card. Perhaps the artist thinks that once a check is “direct-deposited,” one can extract the money from ENIAC?

Site note: I’ve finally done something I should have done years ago: I created a privacy policy for the site. Take a look, won’t you? (Update: I just made a few quite minor tweaks thanks to suggestions, including adding details about PayPal.)

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Gil Thorp, 2/25/08

Every once in a while Gil Thorp is seized by some sort of conviction that it is read and beloved by teenagers across the land. The reality, of course, is that its audience surely consists mostly of ironic twenty- and thirtysomething hipsters, which is why new artist Frank Bolle’s decision to draw all the teenage characters as if they were in their twenties and thirties is actually quite clever. But anyway, sometimes the strip feels a need to churn out an afterschool special style Very Special Storyline to educate and enlighten its imaginary high school aged audience. Longtime readers of this blog no doubt remember homeless high school basketball star storyline from a couple of years ago; during the period in the late ’90s and early ’00s when the strip was written by Jerry Jenkins (yes, that Jerry Jenkins), there were also plots involving abortion and a Jewish football player who wouldn’t play on the Sabbath.

Anyway, for some time now the A-Train storyline has been transparently leading up to this shocking revelation: Andrew’s been raising his little siblings alone, for some reason! I’m really looking forward to finding out the why of this, and one can only hope it involves Andrew murdering his parents with an axe. Whatever it is, it still won’t explain why he’s a spit-curled horse-faced egomaniacal jerky jerk.

Herb and Jamaal, 2/25/08

Some might see this bizarre reference to “girly-girl troopers” as more typical Herb and Jamaal nonspecificity, but I believe that instead it’s an attempt to avoid angering the Girl Scouts with any implication that they might be drug dealers. Which, frankly, is a smart move. You do not want to piss off the Girl Scouts. You’re liable to wake up with a bunch of Tagalong crumbs in your bed and a blood-red fleur-de-lys spray-painted across the front of your house.

Mark Trail, 2/25/08

WHAMMO! Another fine fist o’ justice dished out by Mark Trail! And a particularly artful one too, I must say, with his jacket billowing out manfully behind him as beardo Brice goes down in defeat. I am curious, though, about just who these Mark-allies are circling the scene in their Pan Am Clipper flying boat. They’re clearly familiar with his knuckle sandwich work, as that’s how they’ve managed to identify him from their great height. Could it be that Andy and his hastily scrawled note has already managed to reach The Community, and this is the rescue squad? Since it’s been, what, about twenty minutes since Andy fled into the woods, one would have to question why Mark’s rescuers couldn’t have simply walked there.

Apartment 3-G, 2/25/08

Woo-hoo, Jones the Beatnik is back! Ever since his first appearance, Jones has been one of A3G’s greatest supporting characters, not least because his soul patch and super-groovy vest make it easy to distinguish him from other males in the strip. Plus his appearance always presages some kind of binge on Alan’s part — another reason to root for him.

Slylock Fox, 2/25/08

Good lord, it’s another representative of the sexy Cat clan! Although Keesha spells her last name with a “K” and is apparently on the side of good (or at least on the side of victim rather than perpetrator) so perhaps she’s trying to keep her distance from Cassandra and Carla. Also, I’m not sure exactly what kind of life form the “witness” is supposed to be, but he’s clearly evolved extra-long arms and index fingers for more effective snitching.

Marvin, 2/25/08

Five days after it began, the grim death march that is “Belly Laffs” continues. So far, every single one of these priceless gems of humor has boiled down to “You know you’re pregnant when you get fat.” I can’t believe I’m writing this, but: hey, Marvin, I’ve heard that pregnant women also get weird food cravings and have morning sickness and sometimes are constipated! Perhaps you could cover some of that territory?