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Crankshaft, 7/19/07

I think someone has left an “h” out of a strategic word in that first panel.

For Better Or For Worse, 7/19/07

When I see lovingly rendered stink lines like the ones in panels three and four, it reminds me why I don’t look at the animated versions of these strips on the main FBOFW site.

Gil Thorp, 7/19/07

Ha ha! The Milford locker room smells absolutely disgusting! Oh, hilarity. It’s good to see that Coach Thorp and … uh … whoever the hell that is spend their potentially teenager-free summers ’roiding up and liftin’ weights down at the high school.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/19/07

Ha ha, Darrin and Jessica are in deep shit! Because they live in Funky Winkerbean, what should be a vaguely awkward but ultimately fondly remembered act of wholly consensual sex will in fact result in one or more of the following:

• Pregnancy (despite the fact that this has been the longest-drawn-out lead-up in teen sex history, probably still nobody will think to use any form of birth control because, you know, nobody gets to have any fun)
• Cancer (sexually transmitted, somehow)
• Pregnant cancer
• Cancerous pregnancy

Shoe, 7/19/07

Ha ha, the Perfesser’s life is shitty! I like the way he’s staring at the bottom of his glass as he contemplates the awful, wasted decades.

Family Circus, 7/19/07

Man, Dolly’s quite the little shit. Notice that Grandma isn’t even attempting to maintain a look of grandmotherly good humor. Someone’s going to get bashed on the head with a coffee cup, but fast!

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Two random photos for your amusement this evening! First, faithful reader Dingo (in the grey) and his boyfriend (in the black) recreated the now-legendary “Coach Kaz punches out a drunken lout” photo:

“You know someone really loves you when they’ll allow you to pose them to recreate a Gil Thorp panel,” he says, and truer words have never been spoken. Sadly for those of you who actually requested a dark Gail Martin tank top, the one you see in this picture is the result of digital photo-trickery, not the honest heat transfer technology available from CafePress.

Speaking of bizarre expressions of love involving Gil Thorp, among the awesome haul of b-day gifts I got from my wife yesterday were several comic-themed presents, including a Roz Chast collection and book of cartoons rejected by the New Yorker. Surely the most photogenic, though, was this fabulous Gil Thorp t-shirt.

I was going to put a link to the site where you can buy official Gil Thorp merch like this for you and your loved ones, in part as an act of atonement for my profiting off of my own t-shirts, but clicking on the “Merchandise” link on the official Gil Thorp brings you to an error page. Did Amber buy the last one ever?

Update: Apparently not. Buy your own!

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Gil Thorp, 7/17/07

And Kaz answered and said unto her, “Though all men shall be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended.” Gail said unto him, “Verily I say unto thee, That this night, after the drunken lout crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. Or at least once, before thou art humiliated by thy girlfriend.”

(Gail’s capacity for forgiveness is infinite, of course, but just to stay on her safe side, you might want to buy some merch.)

Hi and Lois, 7/17/07

Hi and Lois has stolen Funky Winkerbean’s Cancer Test Results Mixup storyline and applied it to Hi’s car. It’s marginally funnier here.

Pluggers, 7/17/07

Pluggers don’t need some fancy big-city liberal doctors or nutritionists or people who might savor even a fleeting moment of appreciation for the food that crosses their palate to change their notions about things that they already “know.”

Sorry for the abbreviated post today, everybody, but it’s my 33rd birthday and my wife’s made my favorite birthday meal, which is (no kidding) tuna casserole. I shall be enjoying both its quantity and quality for the remainder of the evening. Till tomorrow!