Archive: Gil Thorp

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Crankshaft, 4/13/22

Once, many years ago, there was a comic strip called Funky Winkerbean about the antics of teenagers. Then someone got the bright idea to spin off the one old person character into his own strip, about old people! Later all the Funky Winkerbean teenagers grew up and become old people in their own right, but that’s a story for another time. Anyway, Crankshaft, the strip about old people, continues to stick to its original old-people mission, and today’s installment, in which two old people angrily yell at each other at the top of their lungs, is a perfect example and I respect it.

Funky Winkerbean, 4/13/22

Oh, I guess the other time to tell the story of the old people Funky Winkerbean characters is now! It turns out Crazy Harry didn’t travel into the metaverse, but rather into his own past, to converse with his younger self, who is eager to learn one thing above all others about his own future, which is: do I get to have [whispers] sex? Ha ha, could you imagine going back to the 1980s heyday of the fun teen characters of Funky Winkerbean, and going up to random newspaper readers and saying, “Hey, you know those teens in Funky Winkerbean? They’re all gonna have sex, eventually, and you’re going to read about it!” They’d literally put you in jail.

Gil Thorp, 4/13/22

“My eyesight is failing! I’ve got grey hair! I’m 55 years old! I can’t believe all of you think I’m a high school student!”

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Gil Thorp, 4/12/22

Can’t believe it’s taken the Milford student-athlete body this long to figure out Coach Thorp’s main weaknesses: he isn’t very smart, and he doesn’t pay a lot of attention to any of his specific individual coachees. If you can trick him into forming a positive opinion of you during a ritual reciting of the names, you’ve got a real leg up!

Gasoline Alley, 4/12/22

Dick Tracy and Gasoline Alley are both syndicated by Tribune Publishing, and with everyone trying to exploit in-house IP to the max these days, it should come as no surprise to see innovative experiments in crossover content synergy like this week’s rapidly escalating Dick Tracy porno. Tribune also owns Gil Thorp, so don’t be surprised to see another special erotic guest star by the end of the week.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/12/22

Ha ha, it’s funny because … poor public health infrastructure has resulted in Hootin’ Holler being ravaged by infectious disease? And it’s hit the children the hardest? That’s the punchline?

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/11/22

Ahh, we have now discovered what type of superhero Rex’s patient is pretending to be: the fancy kind! What’s it to him, ruffian? The man is wearing a cravat! Clearly he’s an important gentleman and is fully authorized to pose car-ownership questions to all and sundry! Stand down, you cur!

Gil Thorp, 4/11/22

The contours of the spring Gil Thorp storyline are taking shape: tennis star Charis (?) is dating baseball trivia nut Eli “E” “Scooter” Borden. Is it possible he loves baseball trivia … too much? More than he loves his tennis star girlfriend or not being called “Eli”? Stay tuned!

Gasoline Alley, 4/11/22

“Why is Dick Tracy still published in newspaper comics sections?” you’ve probably asked yourself, repeatedly. Well, today’s Gasoline Alley has the answer: the older female demographic that makes up an important part of the comics audience is extremely horny for him. The mystery of why Gasoline Alley is still published in the newspaper remains unsolved, but they’re going to do a whole plotline with Dick Tracy in it, just to be on the safe side.