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The Phantom, 10/31/26

Hey, sorry I haven’t been keeping you up on The Phantom, but the short version of what you missed is that transparent Elon Musk standin Ian Mollusk’s AI system has gone rogue, melting the Python’s brain and leaving him feeble and docile rather than the anti-Phantom killer Mollusk envisioned, and also escaping into Mollusk’s refrigerator somehow. Today’s strip honestly tickles me because, yeah, the Nomad’s been in Gitmo for years and, yeah, a lot’s happened in that time! They don’t let you read the newspaper in there! He’s still catching up!

Mary Worth, 10/31/26

Really love how Tommy realized at the last possible moment that he has to say that he never believed Mary and Ian were actually having an affair. Obviously Mary knows better, but he just got under the wire for plausible deniability so Mary isn’t honor bound to eviscerate him right here at his place of employment, yet.

Hagar the Horrible, 10/31/26

Oh, also, it’s Halloween! Got any big plans? Hagar and Helga decided to host an Eyes Wide Shut style masked orgy at their house, which wouldn’t have been my choice but, you know what, I don’t judge.

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Hagar the Horrible, 8/23/26

I honestly don’t know if we’re supposed to understand “Lucky Eddie is an animal lover” and “Lucky Eddie’s girlfriend is a half-human, half-fish” and “Lucky Eddie is getting off on doing undercover furry stuff with hot human ladies” in combination as showing that he’s slowly and methodically trying to figure some extremely specific kink out or if he’s got a set of polymorphous perversities across this whole general conceptual space. As long as everyone involved is having a good time, that’s all I care about!

Dustin, 8/23/26

God, Dustin’s eager facial expression in the third panel here is heartbreaking. “Were you embarrassed? In front of all your friends? Was this a situation where you were humiliated, instead of me? Tell me more. Tell me everything.” This is why Dustin’s dad never takes his son to work.

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The Lockhorns, 8/14/26

What with Leroy being a Millennial, you’d think he’d be on board with a work-from-home environment. But obviously “home” is where Loretta is, and their emotionally chaotic and combustible marriage would simply end in violence if he didn’t leave the house for eight hours a day, so he’ll do it even if that means putting on a suit and tie. The rest of his co-workers quite obviously are less than thrilled about his constant presence around the office, and in fact he might be one of the very reasons why work-from-home is becoming increasingly popular there.

Hagar the Horrible, 8/14/26

Ah, old Myrddin Wyllt, the Brythonic sorcerer who helped Emrys Wledig stave off the Saxon invasion of Britain — for a little while, anyway. Thanks to immortality, he’s lived long enough to see the Saxons, who long ago forced the Britons into the harsh Western mountains, hammered by yet another Germanic-speaking group from across the sea. He probably sees the irony in it all, though he doesn’t have to like the new guys, either.