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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith 8/31/24

You know, I’ve been doing this blog for two decades now, and yet somehow until today I’ve never paused to ask myself the question, “I wonder how Snuffy and Loweezy’s sex life is going?” It’s immediately clear that there’s no “good” answer to this — all the possibilities summon up further unpleasant thoughts and imagery, in their own way — but I’m here to tell you that the answer is “not well.” You can understand why Loweezy might have thought that tonight was a night she was going to get lucky: panel one makes it clear that Snuffy wore his extra-tight overalls to flatter his shapely buttocks, although I guess that’s just to entice Parson Tuttle to get wild and crazy and switch over from CBS to NBC tonight.

Mark Trail, 8/31/24

OK, sorry, I’m willing to accept that Mark is going to write a story about a movie director who accidentally trapped himself in his Catalina Island home with a bunch of lions and is even taking Rusty along on the trip, but if there’s one thing you know I won’t stand for, it’s abuse of Los Angeles geography. If you’re driving from LAX to the Catalina ferry terminal in Long Beach, Santa Monica is in the exact opposite direction of where you’re going! You just added at least an hour to your trip, depending on traffic, and there’s always traffic! Rusty needs to be banned from the next three fishing trips, minimum!

Hagar the Horrible, 8/31/24

Now, keep in mind, when Hagar says “epic,” he’s not talking like some 21st century bro; he literally means that his clan’s bard will be composing an epic oral poem about his warband’s voyage to the Kingdom of Mann and the Isles and the strange Brythonic magic they encountered there. The mutilation of Lucky Eddie’s face will be one of the “funny” parts.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/20/24

Look, I’ve been to plenty of comedy open mics in my time, and the thing you have to keep in mind about them is that they are generally extremely depressing and poorly attended, and the people who do come are invariably all comics looking for a few minutes of stage time who are staring at their phones or mentally running through their sets when other people are performing and who inevitably leave once they get off stage — slinking back home, if they’re lucky, or trying to find another mic, if they’re truly in too deep. Anyway, my point is that you don’t normally see a bunch of people sitting there watching attentively as in panel one. The Glenwood entertainment scene must be truly dire if this many people are coming to see an open mic that allows literal children to perform, and those children are trying to make a genre they’re calling “neo-vaudeville” happen. Are there no roots country concerts these poor souls could be attending instead? Has it really come to this?

Hi and Lois, 8/20/24

It’s pretty funny how exasperated Hi looks in the second panel. Wow, Hi, sorry your kids are taking an interest in your professional life! Although I do think the ribs thing isn’t realistic; it seems more likely that Dot’s initial Google takeaway would be more “Wait, Kansas City is in Missouri? What the heck!”

Hagar the Horrible, 8/20/24

Ha ha! It’s funny because Hagar and his family will freeze to death in the bitterly cold Scandinavian winter!

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Dennis the Menace and Hagar the Horrible, 8/5/24

Ha ha, bagpipes, amiright folks? It’s, uh, it’s honestly pretty slim pickings in the comics today so that’s what I got. I was thinking recently (ok, fine, it was when I was watching the incredible Weird Al biopic Weird) that accordions get a bad rap, like for decades they were the butt of jokes and the epitome of dorky music when in fact accordion music can be really cool and interesting! Am I willing to go out on a limb and say the same about bagpipes? Maybe not, they are pretty screechy and annoying if not done right, but they can be good too sometimes, I dunno. Anyway, mostly I’m interested in geography here, with Hagar the Horrible accurately depicting the Scots as one of the primary victims of Viking depredation and inaccurately depicting the bagpipes as sonic weapons, and Dennis the Menace depicting the cute little historic downtown of Dennis’s suburb (?) where fun civic events like the Bagpipes Festival happen, or maybe that’s just Margaret’s uncle wandering around imposing his musical and sartorial tastes on everyone without their consent, who can say.