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Hagar the Horrible, 11/6/24

Not really sure what to make of the wordbuilding behind this one. Are we meant to believe that a wily group of forest Finns are seeking to ambush Hagar and his warband, whose latest raiding expedition is traveling into unfamiliar territory? Or is this literally a region where bears have evolved intelligence and rudimentary forms of performance, and their wiles are about to lure the gang to either an untimely death or a truly disturbing sexual awakening? At any rate, if these guys miss Paris so much, I guess they shouldn’t have burned it down.

Dennis the Menace, 11/6/24

Based on the looks the Wilsons are exchanging, this is the beginning of some kind of sexual roleplay. “You paid for the hat, is there anything I can do for you in return?” “Well, maybe…” Presumably the reason George is always so pissed at Dennis’s constant presence is because it cramps their erotic style, whereas Martha actually likes the fact that they need to speak in code, it makes the whole thing more thrilling to her.

Family Circus, 11/6/24

It’s because he’s very stupid, OK? It’s probably not going to help but if you have any better ideas I’d sure like to hear them!!!!

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Mary Worth, 10/24/24

If I know Mary Worth, and I’d like to think at this point that I do, I’m reasonably sure that Estelle and Dr. Ed will, in fact, end up back together. However, I appreciate the fact that she’s maintaining a somewhat realistic attitude about the matter. Like, yeah, maybe you have some regrets, but the guy whose engagement ring you hurled into his chest at full force in front of a bunch people at his vet clinic — the vet clinic where he was overworked and you started volunteering to help out at, from which you stormed out that day and presumably have not been back since — that guy might not be in the headspace to pick up where you left off. And that’s fair! Can’t hurt to ask, but it’s fair if he says no! At least a vision direct from God will keep her from marrying Wilbur, even if it means dying alone!

Hagar the Horrible, 10/24/24

Because I’m the specific kind of dork that I am, my immediate thought reading this strip was, “Wait, are these Vikings supposed to be a bride-price culture or a dowry culture? You can’t have it both ways!” Well, after doing a little research, it turns out the dichotomy I half remember a friend of mine explaining to me when she was taking Anthropology 101 during our freshman year of college was a little reductive, because you can have it both ways and the Vikings did: their marriage rituals were preceded by an elaborate and reciprocal series of gift exchanges between the bride’s and groom’s families. Now, that sounds like a big waste of time to me because you end up with the same amount of money at the end of it that you started with, but I guess it helped establish and tighten kinship bonds or something. Whatever, I’m not going to tell them how to live their lives! Wouldn’t do much good anyway, seeing as they’re all dead.

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Beetle Bailey, 10/18/24

This Beetle Bailey honestly feels kind of grim to me, as banal as it seems on the surface. Sure, Sarge is joking around with Beetle in a way that alludes, in a vaguely threatening manner, to the power he holds over his subordinates, as is his wont, but he’s not glowering or even looking up from his paperwork to make eye contact as he does it. Instead, he’s efficiently taking care of some of his less glamorous duties as a non-commissioned officer and not getting overly emotionally involved in Beetle’s day-to-day life. Maybe all the work he did with Dr. Bonkus on his anger issues finally paid off.

Hi and Lois, 10/18/24

Sorry, Trixie! You’re damned to eternal infancy, and while your baby’s brain may somehow generate adult-level cognition, you will never develop even rudimentary speech capabilities. That means you can’t engage in sophisticated bargaining with your brother in scenarios like this. Thought balloons won’t cut it!

Hagar the Horrible, 10/18/24

Uhhh, no? Because it’s facing the other way? And because of gravity? Idiot.