Archive: Hagar the Horrible

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Mark Trail, 3/22/19

Ruh roh, looks like Mark is about to be pulled into a crazy world of adventure and vanishing gold mines! As usual the real victim in this storyline, other than whatever rented vehicles Mark is going to blow up, is Cherry, who is once again going to be separated from her husband for weeks or possibly months as he gets trapped underground of whatever. “Mark!?” she asks, incredulous, pointing at herself. “Remember me!? Your wife, Cherry!? This is my face!? This is what a human face looks like when the human that face belongs to is upset!? We talked about this!?”

Hagar the Horrible, 3/22/19

It feels weird saying this about a strip where the main characters are the perpetrators of a century-long reign of mayhem and terror taht snuffed out the nascent Carolingian renaissance and set European civilization spiraling back into a grim, dark age, but today’s Hagar the Horrible, in which one squirrel is dying, leaving its partner panicked at the prospect of imminent starvation, is pretty grim.

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Dennis the Menace, 2/9/19

Not sure which is more menacing: that Dennis is trying to pull his mother into a pact of omertà, in which mutual silence encourages a downward spiral of crime; or that this alliance implicitly places Henry, who should be Alice’s equal and partner, in the role of enforcer of the morality that both she and Dennis will attempt to evade and undermine.

Hagar the Horrible, 2/9/19

The little detail that really makes this cartoon work for me is the circles under Helga’s eyes that you can see in the final panel. Ha ha, it’s funny because her husband forgot her birthday, and she’s been crying!

Gil Thorp, 2/9/19

And just like that, Marty Moon came up with the idea that would let him leave behind the small-town high school sports radio career he had come to loathe and skyrocket to fortune and fame: college-age Abraham Lincoln erotica.

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Curtis, 11/17/18

Curtis is a strip I have a great affection for, despite its corniness, and unlike certain strips I could mention its weird gags about social media feel at least a little based on some actual experience with it. Like, is snake ownership actually the new rage on social media? No, obviously not. But could you sort of see some interconnected subset of the people Curtis follows getting really into snakes, for some reason? Sure! Seems eminently believable to me. I bet Snake Twitter is extremely lit.

Hagar the Horrible, 11/17/18

Hey, remember in Mark Trail when there was a little girl who was bed-ridden with depression because her parents got divorced, and Mark cured her by giving her a puppy? Normally “hey why treat debilitating mental illness when you could just get a pet or go for a walk instead” bullshit makes me furious, but Hagar and Lucky Eddie are a solid millenium away from reliable talk therapy or psychopharmaceuticals, so I guess they might as well give this cute dog a shot.

The Lockhorns, 11/17/18

It’s incredibly sad that the Lockhorns have come to a truce that involves each of them giving up something they enjoy. The only thing they can agree on is their own mutual immiseration.