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Archie, 2/13/25

Of course, you’ve seen a bunch of comics and cartoons and know that spiciness represented by literal flames and smoke emerging from a person’s gullet is a common visual trope. But the characters in today’s Archie rerun? Well, they apparently have not. “Wow, look at all that smoke,” says Archie, alarmingly calm. “I guess I really underestimated what was going on in Jughead’s digestive tract.”

Herb and Jamaal, 2/13/25

When I returned to the Herb and Jamaal well after many years, I of course wondered: does this strip still “got it,” with “it” being a perverse tendency to eschew proper nouns and make things as generic as possible, even when it’s clearly writing about something specific and indeed torn from the headlines? Well, I’m here to report that, by referring to a “bird illness” today, in the midst of the worsening H5N1 bird flu outbreak, the strip demonstrates that it very much does got it. Maybe this strip was written last week, maybe it was written during several other intermittent avian influenza pandemics that have occurred over the past several decades, and maybe it will be used again and again as new and exciting disease forms ravage our egg supply chain, and I for one think that’s beautiful.

Daddy Daze, 2/13/25

Oh, hey, have you wondered what the Daddy Daze daddy is up to? Well, it seems he yearns for death. It’s not great!

Gearhead Gertie, 2/13/25

Remember, folks, if you go over to your friend’s house to watch NASCAR, and they own a dog but their living room isn’t covered in shit and piss, they’re loser fake fans and you should leave in a huff

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/10/25

Even as I age, I stick to one of my core values, which is that nostalgia is, ultimately, a poison, a way to project your discontent onto an imagined past that includes only your hazy, positive memories and none of the very real problems present in any historical period. Still, I recognize its fundamental appeal. Wouldn’t it be great to live in a time when professionals would be addressed in a friendly way by a shorthand nickname based on their well-respected job — “Teach,” “Padre,” and such? And wouldn’t it be great to live in a time when a high school teacher could spend so much time at the bar that the bouncers there would be like “Oh, that guy? The one who’s here so often that you easily recognize him? He’s a high school teacher, and no, I don’t really know how he can get up in the morning in time to get to class, given how much he drinks here every night.”

Herb and Jamaal, 2/10/25

Speaking of nostalgia, remember Herb and Jamaal, the strip I used to talk about mostly to make fun of its extreme nonspecificity? I let it drop off my rotation a while back due to [some throat-clearing here to gloss over how I get access to comic strips in such a way that allows me to have each post written and published by around 4 am every day and sometimes accidentally earlier] but now I’ve gotten another source on them, and the big question is: are our heroes still telling cutting-edge jokes about what’s going in the present day? The answer, surprisingly, is yes! Just as I’ve found new sources for comics access, Herb and Jamaal have dug into the informal supply chain and acquired one (1) egg, a precious commodity in our current H5N1-afflicted hellscape! Unfortunately, given that the two of them run a restaurant together, this seems like it’s not going to scale up in a way that will be helpful to them.

Dick Tracy, 2/10/25

I hate to admit it, but I couldn’t really get into the Dick Tracy fights the neo-Nazis storyline that’s wrapping up now — fights quite literally, as all the bruises on Dick and Sam’s faces will tell you. Having tuned out, I’m honestly not sure who “himself,” sitting at the bar and enjoying a healthy lettuce sandwich on white bread while he plies our lawmen and -women with a gelatinous nacho blob, is supposed to be. Should we recognize him from the story so far? Is he some new character heralding the next adventure? Is he Michael Kilian himself, the bar owner, or possibly Michael Kilian himself, the guy who used to write Dick Tracy until he died in 2005, paving the way for the truly deranged Locher era? More on this as it develops, if I can maintain my attention span for it, which I probably can’t.

Family Circus, 2/10/25

Look, I’m not saying that “become a radfem separatist and eject all boys from the Keane Kompound” is the correct reading of the King James translation of the Lord’s Prayer, but I’m willing to wait and see where exactly Dolly is going with this.

Shoe, 2/10/25

Roz’s diner in Shoe is on the receiving end of a trope that generally rubs me the wrong way, which is “This is the place where the characters hang out all the time, but they also talk shit constantly about how bad it is, and they’re really mean-spirited about it.” But if Roz really strikes up conversations with her customers by saying things like “So, you’re gonna die soon. Are you being irresponsible about it?” then maybe her naysayers have a point.

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Part of my job here as second-string comic blogger is to watch for developments in the comic-strip universe outside Josh’s King Features-centric orbit, for readers dying for commentary on oh, say, Between Friends or Phoebe and Her Unicorn. You’re welcome!

Herb and Jamaal, 8/31/21

You bet, Herb—try a lot of overanalyzing, that’s the ticket!

Breaking Cat News, 8/31/21

As the Sage once said, “Breaking Cat News is a subject about which reasonable people may disagree.” I keep it on my daily list as a sweetener after hatereads 9 Chickweed Lane and Luann, and before I try to decode Nancy. But I understand the perspective of people who can’t get used to the art—is that watercolor?, or who find the one-note “cats report the news” theme as confining as Kevin and Kell‘s “carnivores and prey try to get along” schtick. If you want to make up your mind in a hurry, dive into the catlady abyss of the strip’s GoComics comment thread.

For the record, though, that is exactly how bluejays converse.

Take It from the Tinkersons, 8/31/21

This is a family strip that gradually went all Dick Tracy on us. Tinkerson père Ted has agreed to wear a wire on Joe, his Sales Manager, for the FBI. Joe is suspected of killing several of Ted’s sociopathic ex-boss Helen’s beaux, among whom he apparently numbers Ted the latest. Only Joe and Ted’s wife Tiff could possibly think this of milquetoast Ted, which is why I hope Joe and Tiff hook up and Ted murders them. Take that, Lockhorns!

Pearls before Swine, 8/31/21

Uh-oh. Better put that flag at half-staff in anticipation.

And hey, panel two violates the “180°” rule and changes Goat’s “How come?” from “How come you ask?” to “How come they sent him?”

Assassinating Rat, or the joke: which is more heinous?

It’s like magic!

If you just gotta gotta have your daily dose of Mary Worth, Funky Winkerbean, or Mark Trail, may I recommend strip specialists Mary Worth and Me, Son of Stuck Funky, and The Daily Trail for deep dives into fan favorites.

— Uncle Lumpy