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Herb and Jamaal, 4/21/26

I went to grad school for history (NOTE: DO NOT DO THIS) from 1996 to 1999, which was about at the tail end of the period when it might seem reasonable for someone to be going to grad school and not own a computer. Our department had a tiny little “computer lab” for grad students that was basically a little cubby off the admin office with a couple of outdated Macs and a printer. The whole time I was going there I would often see this one guy using the computers, a heavy-set dude with a shaggy beard and thick glasses who would never talk to anyone else and always be typing away furiously, which was normal enough grad student appearance/behavior/vibes that I never thought much of it, except to notice that I never saw anyone else using the lab. Anyway, one day, not long before I finally left the program in disgrace and relief, I noticed that he had left some printed pages behind, and I picked them up to finally figure out what his specialization was in the department, only to discover that what he was writing was in fact no-paragraph-breaks all-caps paranoid ideation. The question that immediately occurred to me: Did a genuinely crazy person somehow figure out that our computer lab was never used and that nobody would question him if he came in to type up his little manifestos? Or had he at one point been a normal (“normal”) grad student who was driven mad by academia, in a turn that validated my decision to quit?

Anyway, just thought of this little episode as I read today’s Herb and Jamaal. When I told my stepmother my story, she asked “Did you, uh, tell anyone? Because he might be dangerous?” And I was like “Nope! Ha ha! Not my business!” But I can see that Herb is taking his responsibilities a little more seriously than I did.

Pluggers, 4/21/26

It’s kind of interesting that there are no plugger cows, right? I sort of thought that maybe it’s because their society is tilted towards predators and aggressive herbivores like Rhino-Man, but maybe it’s actually because plugger envy of the gentle bovine’s digestive prowess has led to cows being pushed out of their society.

Dick Tracy, 4/21/26

“What with them all being freaks of nature with weird skull shapes and all. They’re easy for us to spot and catch! Hey, you ever think there might be a bunch of normal-looking criminals getting away with stuff around here because we don’t really notice them?”

Heathcliff, 4/21/26

What do you think goes on at the nightclub for frogs named after their main prey animal? Probably some real fucked-up shit, right?

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Marvin, 4/18/26

OK, I kind of … well, like is a strong word, but I appreciate what Marvin is going for here. At first you’re like, “Ha ha, of course you can’t turn on the TV! You’re a dog!” But then you find out that the actual reason is that he could use the remote to turn the TV on or off, but he doesn’t know where it is because [comical BOI-OI-OING noise] he hid it. Both the using and (to an admittedly lesser extent) the hiding of this object are not particularly dog-like, so the twist is … well, funny is a strong word, but at least it’s mildly interesting. I guess it’s best if we don’t get into the antagonistic relationship he has with the humans in the house that would’ve led to him hiding it in the first place.

Herb and Jamaal, 4/18/26

French philosopher Blaise Pascal famously came up with the thought experiment that we call “Pascal’s wager,” which is basically that you might as well believe in God because if you do but he doesn’t exist, you suffer no harm from your belief, but if he does exist and you don’t believe in him, you won’t make it into heaven. This really wowed the rubes in the 17th century but it’s absolutely baby brain stuff today, where you can open the comics pages and see some guy talking about how he literally believes in the concept of heaven as understood by most contemporary Christians, but he doesn’t go to church, possibly because his irreligiosity combined with his good deeds makes him even more likely to get into paradise, in his opinion. Wild stuff! And he’s telling this to a clergyman who definitely has some opinions about faith and works and their respective relationship to salvation! Can’t decide if Rev. Croom’s big grin is because he’s about to open up a can of theological whoop-ass or because he’s like “This is great, can’t wait to tell the fellas in the PastorChat Discord about this one.”

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Herb and Jamaal, 4/14/26

OK, Herb, that’s not what the expression is, first of all, it’s actually about ugly people, who I get you may not want to insult, but I’m just telling you, and second of all, all you’re saying is “to say they’re good at lying is to say [elaborate, awkward metaphor for someone being good at lying].” That’s tautological! Are they lying or not? It’s OK, you haven’t even said specifically who “they” are, so you can still reuse the strip whenever!

Mary Worth, 4/14/26

“I told them ‘Grandpa doesn’t even have a boat’ and ‘that never happened,’ but they just kept saying ‘Any old dude who wears a fuckin’ ascot everywhere has gotta be a boat guy,’ so hopefully you have a bunch of liquid cash to buy a boat with if you want your grandkids to ever spend time with you, because they’re not coming down here from Goleta unless there’s a boat involved.”

Dustin, 4/14/26

I actually appreciate the final panel here, where Dustin’s dad’s facial expression makes it clear that he’s had a truly harrowing experience trying to log on to his bank’s website. And good! That’s right, old man, the world is changing and you will never catch up! I hope you enjoy the icy feeling of death on the back of your neck, because it’s only going to get stronger!