Post Content

Marmaduke, 11/15/11

I don’t usually find little visual flourishes to enjoy in the loopy, face-melting world of Marmaduke, but here one is: Marmaduke’s owner’s license plate bears the single letter “M”. Actually, that ought to make one question whose car this really is. Usually the DMV doesn’t issue license plates with only a single letter on them, unless they’re compelled to do so by a terrifying power beyond their ken, which reinforces the emerging consensus that this vehicle belongs to Marmaduke, its purpose to carry its demon-hound owner wherever He wishes to go, via highway, carpool lane, sidewalk, canal, whatever, so that nosey cop had best do obeisance and walk away slowly, unless he wants to get eaten nice and painfully.

Herb and Jamaal, 11/15/11

“Here, let me set up a really convoluted analogy for you. You know how sometimes you just lose your grip on your wallet, and slips out of your hands and flies into a fish tank? And sometimes that fish tank is filled with pirañas, which are never kept in tanks? That’s what it’s like with the ladies, who take your money and bite you with razor-sharp teeth when you try to take it back!  Ha ha, women, who needs ’em, amiright? Say, want to come upstairs and look at my etchings?”

Post Content

Shoe, 10/18/11

“And considering that I am, as near as anyone can tell, some sort of chicken, I was afraid that it would malfunction and fry me. What sort of monster are you, selling something that could cause serious burns? What? No, I’m not going to tell you why I bought it in the first place. I’m certainly not interested in killing, dismembering, and frying my fellow chicken-men and then feasting on their succulent thighs. Why did you even bring that up? What? No, I’m not the one who brought it up. I have to go now.”

Herb and Jamaal, 10/18/11

Herb and Jamaal are frequently a bit confused as to the slang the kids use today, so it maybe shouldn’t come as a big shock that they’ve manage to completely misunderstand the phrase “sexual chocolate.”

Post Content

Herb and Jamaal, 9/29/11

While politicians and economists bicker about the best way to restart the world’s faltering economy, Herb and Jamaal dares to think outside the box, suggesting that a pornography-based monetary system might lead to more responsible spending habits.

Mary Worth, 9/29/11

Oh no! Gina’s attempts to reach Bobby are stymied by the team’s manager, who, among his many other duties, apparently gets to field random phone calls from members of the public. You might think he’s harsh in his refusal to pass along to his players the phone numbers of ladies who are holding onto an eternal love and/or who are interested in having sex with them, but you can’t argue with his results. Not every manager in this high-powered professional soccer league has earned the coveted 1st Place certificate for the team office!

Apartment 3-G, 9/29/11

“Um, Lu Ann, have you forgotten that I’m a piano mover and you’re an art teacher? The only ‘flat’ we could afford in New York would be the flat space between two flights of stairs. What do they call that? Oh, yeah, a landing. We could afford to live on a landing. And not south of the park, either.”