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Dennis the Menace, 7/31/10

I suppose that it’s mildly menacing that Dennis refuses to join any sort of square, organized group like the Boy Scouts. More menacing still is Mr. Wilson’s even grumpier than usual expression. Now revealed to be the leader of a uniformed paramilitary organization, he plots to use his army of children to purge the neighborhood of “undesirable elements” (i.e., the Mitchells), once and for all.

Herb and Jamaal, 7/31/10

This strip is like a “Goofus and Gallant” cartoon explaining how to be on the down low. INCORRECT WAY TO DEAL WITH THE AFTERMATH OF A DRUNKEN 3 A.M. BOOTY CALL: “That phone call I made last night, that never happened, right? Eh?” CORRECT WAY: Pushing it deep, down into your unconscious mind, so that even you can’t remember it, except in your dreams.

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Mary Worth, 7/22/10

In a desperate attempt to stave off Mary’s meddling, Dr. Mike is going to try to fake narcolepsy. It won’t work.

Herb and Jamaal, 7/22/10

Ha ha ha, your hearing is fine, Eula; it’s your mind that’s going! You’re finally going crazy, just like you always feared!

Dick Tracy, 7/22/10

“Now let’s head out and do some good old-fashioned police work. I hear there are hobos that need roughing up!”

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Blondie, 7/16/10

Now that they’ve finally mastered texting technology, Blondie and the mailman will have a much easier time conducting their affair.

Spider-Man, 7/16/10

“I mean, fleeing like a coward the moment things get difficult is really much more my shtick.”

Dennis the Menace, 7/16/10

This is actually news that Mr. Wilson will enjoy hearing, considering the Post Office’s policy of only putting people on stamps after they’ve died.

Herb and Jamaal, 7/16/10

HA HA HA HERB’S DAUGHTER YOUR GOD HAS FAILED YOU — NOW IT IS TIME TO TURN TO SATAN