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Herb and Jamaal, 9/29/05

There are so many things wrong with today’s Herb and Jamaal, but let’s start with the quotation marks around “date.” I’m a big fan of inappropriate quotation marks. They can be found in many venues, from crudely hand-written store signs (“We are looking for ‘friendly’ people”) to the headlines in major newspapers (“Tom DeLay says he’s ‘innocent'”).

Still, I suppose “date” is a fairly appropriate use of inappropriate quotation marks here, seeing as Jamaal’s “dates” differ from actual dates in almost every important respect. I was never exactly a big Casanova back in my single days, and I’m also terrifically cheap, but I’m reasonably sure that the following train of thought would never have rumbled through my head: “Sure, I don’t get to see my date in person, or hear what she sounds like, or have any opportunity for a long-term relationship or even an amorous encounter, and I won’t get to leave the house or see a movie or have a nice meal, and there’s a small but nontrivial possibility that my ‘date’ is actually an undercover FBI agent looking for pedophiles, but it’s all worth it because I won’t have to spring for dinner!” You really dodged a bullet there, Jamaal.

As a bonus feature, why not try Herb and Jamaal Mad Libs?

“I love to ‘[verb]’ online. I get to [verb] dozens of women and [verb] them with [adjective] [noun] for hours … without [negative consequence]!”

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Herb and Jamaal, 8/17/05

Jamaal’s last name is apparently “Jamaal.”

Beetle Bailey, 8/17/05

Mall-based makeover artists now apparently sell breast implants and mustache extensions.

Hagar the Horrible, 8/17/05

And, most traumatically, Helga and Hagar are apparently into sploshing.

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Herb and Jamaal, 2/12/05

Ever since last year’s terrible comics cull, I’ve found my job (and I’m using the word “job” loosely here) of reading the comics so you don’t have to a little tougher. I’ve finally come to the conclusion that, though the best of the serials went into my Houston Chronicle custom comics page right away, my art (and I’m using the word “art” loosely here) suffers from the absence of even those crappy comics that I didn’t think I’d miss. So now they’re all back in the rotation, including such longtime non-faves as Dennis the Menace, Marmaduke, Ziggy, and, of course Herb and Jamaal.

So here it is: did ya miss it? Maybe it’s just because I saw Bad Education last night, but all I have to say about this comic is that you’d think we’d be a little less cavalier these days about depicting priests praying to be “filled with … worthwhile stuff.” Aaaah, hatin’ on poor old Herb and Jamaal: it’s good to be back.