Pluggers, 11/23/11
Fun game: try to visualize our plugger heroine here simultaneously using products ordered from the tractor store, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Victoria’s Secret, while reading Reader’s Digest. Now try to un-visualize it. Bet you can’t!
Hi and Lois, 11/23/11
Years later, when Lois found Ditto’s broken body wedged into the washing machine while Dot laughed maniacally upstairs, she thought about this moment.
Gil Thorp, 11/16/11
Trust me, the current plot of Gil Thorp is totally not worth time time it would take for me to describe it to you, but I do think everyone can find today’s strip amusing. Say what you will about those Mudlarks, but they sure are together emotionally. Most high school athletes would probably be cowed or angry when one of their coaches freaked out on them, but these guys just sweatily crack wise and do a little armchair (or sideline bench) psychoanalysis. “Ho hum, another high school football coach who’s just living vicariously through us, probably because his life peaked during his own high school days and now he’s way too emotionally invested in these largely meaningless contests! I mean, he’s right, we do suck, but he should be taking an entirely different motivational tack if he expects us to respect him.”
Judge Parker, 11/16/11
If only Derek were so self-aware; instead, it’s becoming increasingly clear that his feeble teenage wits are no match for Sophie’s robotic intelligence and grim determination to possess him “I’m sure you had no idea … but she threatened me today, after I openly declared my intentions of stealing you away from her! It was totally unprovoked, except for the part where I kept taunting her!”
Ziggy, 11/16/11
Ha ha, those wacky foreigners! Not so bright, but very, very hungry! They’re starving! Literally. Because of the famines. Wacky!
Hi and Lois, 11/16/11
In other news, Trixie thinks her mom is fucking the dog, I guess.
Luann, 11/10/11
GOD DAMN IT DO I REALLY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT LUANN? FINE. So, here’s a thing I noticed about Luann: Check out how broad-shouldered and grim-faced and bad-ass Brad is looking in panel one there. Does it remind you of anything? Like, maybe the strip from last week where Toni strode off in triumph from WeenieWorld, after having physically threatened Brad’s boss?
Even the jacket is more or less the same! This probably means that “Brad” and “Toni” are actually two different aspects of the same individual’s personality. The question is, who’s the real one and who’s the delusion? I’m certainly hoping Toni is the projection, because really, who would want to make up Brad, even in their subconscious, gross.
Seeing that panel from last week in isolation also makes me realize that Anne is moonlighting at the mall as one of Santa’s elves, which means that her erratic behavior may be a result of stress brought on by overwork.
Hi and Lois, 11/10/11
Not wanting to know about the contents of your hot dog is actually a pretty good policy. Don’t worry, kids, there’s not much nutritive difference between “cow anus” and “turkey cloaca.” And turkey dogs are still chock-full of the delicious nitrates you love!
Apartment 3-G, 11/10/11
Ha ha, Lu Ann, Paul has already seen the wedding dress, since it was worn by his mother and all his sisters and sisters-in-law for every Linsky Compound wedding ever! It is probably all moldy and disgusting, like this one, but wearing it is an inviolable Tradition, just like the ceremonial head-shaving/lobotomy during the reception.
Spider-Man, 11/10/11
“Yup, I knew! But I still passed out and let myself be chained up anyway. Actually succeeding at something … it just didn’t feel like me, you know?”