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Funky Winkerbean, 10/28/11

I have to admit that I like the sly little smile on witch-girl’s face in this cartoon. “Tee-hee! He sassed back to our teacher, using a vaguely appropriate bit of wordplay! He’s a bad boy who plays by his own rules, but isn’t a complete dolt! I’m totally going to regret losing my virginity to him in two years!”

Hi and Lois, 10/28/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because Chip can set specific songs for his ringtone, which is a feature that’s actually been available on phones for years and years now and isn’t new or awesome, and also isn’t funny. But, um, his dad sure hates it, so, hilarity?

Apartment 3-G, 10/28/11

Wait, Margo is talking about liking Lu Ann, and hugging, and her face isn’t twisted with rage and disgust? This is what comes of this “art without rules” business. ART NEEDS RULES! THERE ARE TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES WHEN ART HAPPENS AND THERE ARE NO RULES!

Mary Worth, 10/28/11

Meanwhile, Bobby and Gina are driving down Easy Street, far in excess of the posted speed limit, while gazing into each other’s eyes! What could possibly go wrong?

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Hi and Lois, 10/4/11

Fun fact about Hi and Lois (yes, fun facts about Hi and Lois exist): “Thirsty” Thurston was originally given that nickname because he was a chronic drunk. At some point, the strip toned down that aspect of his personality — you know, for the children — mostly by getting rid of his bright red nose and visible intoxication bubbles, and for the past several decades we’ve just been left to fill in the blanks for the origins of his shiftlessness, slovenliness, and unhappy marriage. But it appears that someone at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC suddenly realized (probably right about here) that children stopped reading the comics long ago, and so Thirsty’s boozehounding can now come back in full force! Earlier this week there was already a strip about how he passed out drunk on Hi’s couch and spent the night in a stupor, so I look forward to the hijinks that will ensue once he polishes off this minivan-sized box of Beer™ brand beer.

Apartment 3-G, 10/4/11

I’m pretty sure that we’re always supposed to find Margo’s high-handed demands unreasonable, which is why I find it odd that her current set of high-handed demands involve asking Lu Ann to do her job rather than comparing different shades of pastel for bridesmaids dresses and matching napkins all day. Rather than responding with “Weddings! Bah, humbug! My heart was broken by my fiancé’s death, so I must crap on your happiness!” it would kind of make more sense if Margo said, “Yeah, so, you know I’m paying you to, like, work at the art gallery, right?”

B.C., 10/4/11

Ha ha, those jokesters at B.C., they’re sure stickin’ it to those hippies, and their grass! Hippies eat grass, right? That’s how you “do” grass? If you’re a hippie? Anyway, long story short, this hippie is about to be savagely killed by a dinosaur, for his drug crimes.

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Hi and Lois, 9/30/11

Jonesing for sugar, Ditto has hit rock bottom, and can only hope that his senile neighbors have forgotten what month it is. It’s a strategy that’s likely to only net him hostility and Werther’s Originals, but it’s all he’s got.

Family Circus, 9/30/11

Jeffy is right to look sad! Obviously no pretty school is going to accept him.