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Apartment 3-G, 9/18/06

OK, look at the swivel lines in panel three, and compare to Margo’s head position in panel two. Either Margo briefly looked away from Lu Ann, then swung her head back to look at her in a classic doubletake that I feel very cheated for being denied (maybe she indignantly sprayed her coffee across the room at the same time?) or her head has spun completely around on its axis, Exorcist-style. Hell hath no fury like a Hat Man lover scorned!

Also: a stripey purple V-neck under a mauve vest is “dressing up” now? I sure didn’t get that memo.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 9/18/06

I love the fact that the patented TDIET-style outrage is being wielded entirely on the side of the couple who shuns personal interaction in favor of the warm, numbing glow of the television set. “Didjaevernotice: People invite you over to spend some quality time with ya … and insist on talking to you while the TV is on! Wha-a-a-a?”

Popeye, 9/18/06

I know I don’t talk about Popeye very much, but you should be kept appraised of the fact that it’s completely demented. There’s been this long, meandering “generation gap” storyline involving Sweetpea insisting that adults don’t understand him (don’t trust anyone over seven, man!), which, other than the fact that Sweetpea can apparently talk, didn’t faze me too much. But then he ran away from home, and Popeye was disconsolate, and Olive Oyl made a fake Sweetpea doll too fool Popeye and it worked. Today’s deranged strip pretty much speaks for itself in terms of how far around the bend this feature has gone, sort of the way a crazy homeless guy who’s constantly raving about OJ and the CIA and killer monkeys speaks for himself.

Hi and Lois, 9/18/06

My wife says that the joke here is that the baby doesn’t understand irony, but I don’t think that’s possible, because Hi and Lois doesn’t understand irony either.

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Mary Worth, 8/9/06

That’s right, Mary, let the rage and hate flow through you. But wait until he’s actually standing in front of you to unleash that left hook.

Archie, 8/9/06

I have to admit that this is a pretty stunning layout — I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a comic strip divided up like this before. I don’t know how it would look shrunk down to the size necessary to cram it into a newspaper comics section, but it looks good here. It’s a particularly good fit for the broad vista in the top panel. Too bad it’s all in the service of such a joke so spectacularly lame that I think it’s the product of a joke-generating computer — and not a good one, either. Some of Betty’s butt might have helped.

Hi and Lois, 8/9/06

Shitting. The baby is talking about shitting.

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Hi and Lois, 7/29/06

See, right-wing naysayers: the debate over same-sex marriage has actually strengthened traditional marriage … or at least has provided fodder for “traditional” (i.e., boring, not-funny, 1950s-sitcom-style) jokes about marriage. This one in isn’t as horrifying the Beetle Bailey a few years ago when Mrs. Halftrack announced that she was in favor of same-sex marriage and the General, leering, told her that he was in favor of some-sex marriage. Note to the Walker-Browne axis: we don’t really want to hear your opinions on current politics, and we definitely don’t want to know about your characters’ sex lives.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/29/06

The Closeted Doctor Wacky Blackmail Adventure continues unabated. For those of you not following along at home, I forgot to point out in my last update on this strip that “Troy Gainer”‘s real name has been revealed to be the only slightly less porn-star-ish “Adam Long.” Today, we learn that, despite his earlier reluctance to get involved in this situation, Rex has some pretty clear and specific ideas on the best locations for doing a prisoner/ransom money exchange.

Mary Worth, 7/29/06

And by “compassion,” Mary of course means “pity.”

And by “rose,” Aldo of course means “dead object of my stalking affections.”