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Folks! I am back from my vacation, I am tanned, rested, and ready, and I am diving back into that most beloved of all artistic mediums: the daily comics! Big thanks to Uncle Lumpy, and Turtle Carl, and everyone who contributed to the summer fundraiser (you’ll all be getting personal thank-yous soon), but for now I must dedicate my energy to urgent, pressing matters, like what’s going on in the Flagston marriage:

Hi and Lois, 8/18/25

I guess what’s going on in the Flagston marriage is that it’s crying for help! “Fix me!” screams every object in the home Hi and Lois built together, at Lois’s command. “Please!” Ha ha, just kidding, this is about chores or whatever, it’s definitely not a metaphor for anything.

Slylock Fox, 8/18/25

You know who can’t scream anymore, though? That fish, whose skeleton, picked clean, is lying in the middle of Slylock’s crime scene. Hey, did you know that some species of shrew eat small fish? Just thought that was a fun fact. I’m sure Shady’s transparent lies about the disruption of a sand sculpture contest — exactly the sort of thing that we know catches Slylock’s attention — are just his usual clumsy attempts to exonerate himself, and not a distraction from a much more monstrous crime.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/18/25

Since I often criticize syndicate colorists on here, I have to compliment whoever it was that made Ma Goose’s little breath clouds that particularly unpleasant shade of brown, which does a much better job of conveying how vile her morning breath is than the clichéd writing of the joke. Comics: occasionally remembering that they are, in fact, a visual medium!

Judge Parker, 8/18/25

Good news: Ever since a series of embarrassing Senate hearings in 1976, the CIA has “strongly discouraged” its agents from murdering children. Bad news: Well, I guess the second panel here has already established what the bad news is, ha ha!

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Six Chix, 8/12/25

Why start now?

Judge Parker, 8/12/25

Come on, lady, everybody knows April. They didn’t even need to tell you her last name!

Rex Morgan, 8/12/25

Sad-sack sister here sounds like an AI spooling out yards of generic content: “different points of view” … “makes communication tough” … “not open to the idea” … “doesn’t want to accept” …. Out with it, girl: the guy’s a jerk!

Hi and Lois, 8/12/25

Hi and Lois tiptoes into Rex Morgan Secret Sibling territory. Careful reconnecting with your new half-brother, Dawg—I hear his sister is a real bitch.

—Uncle Lumpy

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Dick Tracy, 8/11/25

Sam, Lizz, and Lee are searching the apartment of loan shark Sphyrna, murdered by tech whiz Theresa Lakoyle with her glowing gun. Yesterday, Sam bet Lee a week of sandwiches that he would find key evidence in two minutes, and here he does. In the toilet. It makes him so damn happy; just look at that grin. Please don’t anybody tell him why he always gets toilet duty.

Alice, 8/11/25

Lady, you took your brain out of your head and handed it to Boyfriend there. Little analysis is required.

Mary Worth, 8/11/25

“Olive, you’re leaning hard into this ‘I am so unusual’ bit; maybe give it a rest for a while and see how that works out?” said Mary Worth, never.

Judge Parker, 8/11/25

“Everyone to the couch. Now. The psychiatrist‘s couch, because you people are nuts.”

—Uncle Lumpy