Archive: Judge Parker

Post Content

B.C., 6/24/26

Sorry, the kind of brain I have will simply not let me let this “60 years” thing go. Did you know that B.C. started its run in 1958, 68 years ago? Does that mean that somewhere in the Deep Lore of the strip there’s an installment from 1966 when one of the indistinguishable cavemen, inspired by the Beat scene or possibly the Civil Rights Movement, discovers fire?

Beetle Bailey, 6/24/26

I genuinely enjoy Sgt. Lugg’s beleaguered facial expression in the second panel. Is this what it’s come to? Is this the price of finding and keeping a barely half-acceptable partner? Is heterosexuality worth the cost?

Judge Parker, 6/24/26

“Norway was like, ‘Hey, is that what you look like? We agree! We agree with that choice! Keep right on doing it!’ That’s why I look like this. Same as I did before, I mean.”

Post Content

Judge Parker, 6/21/26

Look, we know what you want and what you don’t want out of your soap opera comic strips, and what you don’t want is character growth. That sort of thing is how you get the man once known as “Tommy the Tweaker” yammering about his skivvies in a supermarket, where he’s gainfully employed, to Dawn Weston of all people. So, don’t worry, kids, Sophie moved to Norway a year ago but she hasn’t “found herself” or grown as a person at all! Instead she broke up with her boyfriend for reasons she can barely articulate. She’s going to drift back to the United States as dumb as she was when she left, and I think that’s great.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/21/26

Sorry, I’m sure Snuffy loves his son Li’l Tater and his nephew Jughaid who has, through some sequence of events we don’t talk about, come to be his full-time ward, but I refuse to believe that he would ever have a structure on his property, no matter how ramshackle, that has “work” in its name. The very concept is anathema to him!

Heathcliff, 6/21/26

[normally, conversationally, as if the sentence I’m saying is the most natural thing in the world] Butterflies are the emojis of stoke.

Post Content

Wizard of Id, 6/1/26

The Met Gala was exactly four weeks ago today, in case you were curious as to what the Wizard of Id publication lead time is! You might think that, having come up with the hilarious joke, the creative team would’ve kept it in the chamber to be published on the actual date of next year’s Met Gala, but hey, these are uncertain times. Will the Met Gala even happen in 2027? Will newspaper comics still be published? Will any of us be alive? Why wait?

Judge Parker, 6/1/26

Look, I know it’s been a long time since Alan “Judge Parker Senior Emeritus” Parker has been the main guy in the strip that bears his name, but … look at that last panel. Eyes closed, mouth hanging dully open as he begins taking another big bite of the sandwich he got to-go from the diner where he made everyone emotionally uncomfortable. The artist didn’t have to do him like this. He could’ve been left with a shred of dignity!

Daddy Daze, 6/1/26

The Daddy Daze daddy has some generic email job that isn’t at an educational institution and the Daddy Daze baby is a baby. It doesn’t matter if your headcanon for this strip is that the Daddy Daze baby’s series of “ba”s carry real semantic meaning or if the Daddy Daze daddy merely projects his own insane ruminations onto them, there is zero reason for them to have a conversation about the school calendar, a concept of no importance to either of them.

Mary Worth, 6/1/26

“I mean, at least you won’t have too many student loans! I’ve been in college since at least 2007 and I’m no closer to a degree than I’ve ever been!”

The Lockhorns, 6/1/26

“Blood … there was so much blood. And the sex stuff … look, I don’t want to talk about it.”