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Hi and Lois, 3/22/25

“Wow, my wife/mother sure is a BALLBUSTING HARPY” is one of my least favorite genres of domestic comic strip, but I gotta say, Hi and the kids can’t have been talking for more than, what, 10-15 seconds here? And Lois is already demanding they return to their assigned manual labor tasks. She is being unreasonably intense about this, I think we can agree.

Judge Parker, 3/22/25

Big news: Sophie has requested, and apparently been granted, a cushy job helping run her rich boyfriend’s family firm’s charity arm. She just needs to know a few things first, mostly that, like pretty much every charity arm of a rich family’s privately held company, she’ll mostly be doing money laundering and tax evasion stuff, and occasionally writing four-digit checks to whatever crackpot cause some of the wackier relatives are into. You’re cool with that, right Sophie? That’s where your heart lies, pretty much?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/22/25

Doc Pritchairt is in fact very much not a dentist. Not sure if getting him to swear an oath is going to mitigate that fact, but honestly it couldn’t hurt (unlike his attempts at dentistry, which are going to hurt quite a bit).

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Blondie, 3/15/25

You gotta imagine that, when you’re talking to Dagwood Bumstead, there’s always a danger that he’s going to stare off into the distance, licking his lips, as he descends into a food-driven fugue state. It’s probably pretty off-putting and it’s honestly surprising that more people don’t just avoid him. Certainly his mailman has no real professional obligation to interact with him as much as he does!

Daddy Daze, 3/15/25

The central mystery of Daddy Daze is, I suppose, whether the Daddy Daze baby actually communicates with the Daddy Daze daddy in an elaborate language of “ba”s that the Daddy Daze daddy can understand, or if literally every strip we see is just the Daddy Daze daddy doing an elaborate series of bits with a baby who is too young to consent to participate in them. But the secondary mystery is undoubtedly “Why are the “Daddy Daze daddy and the infrequently seen Daddy Daze mommy no longer together, despite the fact that they had a baby together quite recently?” Today, the answer is clearly that, whether the baby is a willing participant or not, a life with the Daddy Daze daddy is obviously a life spent subject to endless bits, and such a life is to be avoided at all costs.

Judge Parker, 3/15/25

Aw, isn’t that nice? Randy is sad about his sister going to prison, so his trained CIA assassin wife is helping him cope by cutting off his oxygen supply, sending him off to a peaceful sleep, possibly forever.

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The Lockhorns, 3/12/25

Why do you think Loretta is in the room with Leroy as he gets his physical? Is it just so she can do little bits like this? If I were H. Blog, M.D., the Lockhorns’ longtime and long-suffering physician, I would simply begin insisting that I would only see them one at a time, although maybe he hopes that in the process of doing bits the spouse not currently being examined will let slip important medical information. This is the first he’s hearing that Leroy’s in an underground fight club, for instance.

Judge Parker, 3/12/25

I’d like to imagine that Randy is giving this flabbergasted reaction in the second panel because, despite being a judge himself, this is the first he’s hearing about the concept of a “plea bargain.” “Wait, you mean when all those people just give up and tell me at the beginning of the trial that they did it, I’m supposed to be sentencing them to less time in prison? Aw crap have I been doing this wrong!!!”