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140

Mmm … sandwich

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Judge Parker, 5/10/26

There have been hints in this strip that Judge Parker Senior is slipping away into alcoholism or maybe just dementia, and … look, he’s kind of an asshole, and sure, Katherine seems to be on top of his apparent disappearance as this strip opens, but you have to imagine that she leaves those keys where he can find them even though she shouldn’t, and, well, maybe today’s the day when he’s going to drive into a wall and she’ll be rid of him and, since his kids are themselves both kind of assholes, get that money. It turns out that he was just making a sandwich, though! Oh well.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/10/26

Despite my endless attempts to parse the anachronisms of Hagar the Horrible, I do of course realize that the anachronisms are key to the jokes, like the mix of the modern concept of a “hospital” with our vague ideas of ancient medicine here. Anyway, today’s punchline is whatever but I think “Take those leeches out of here! I’m not a blood buffet!” is very funny! A hearty chuckle was had, by me.

Mary Worth, 5/10/26

“I know many people who are smart, successful, resourced, but because of loneliness, they throw almost everything away for an illusion! Now imagine how loneliness would affect a dumb, poor failure!” [SMASH CUT TO: MEANWHILE, TOMMY BEEDIE WEEPS]

159

Praise Heath from whom all blessings flow

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Heathcliff, 5/5/26

The oldest references to cherubim in the bible seem to imagine them as winged half-animal, half-human creatures that guard or carry the throne of the deity, and similar iconography is visible across the ancient Near East. Ezekiel, during the Exile, had a famous vision of cherubim as terrifying multi-faced beings, possibly borrowed from Babylonian imagery; after the Exile, as Jewish theology began to conceive of God as more and more remote and less human-like, an array of semi-divine angelic beings started becoming important as intercessors, at which point cherubim became part of the “inner circle” of angels, close to God’s throne and intellect. This angelology was eventually adapted by Christians, and, thanks to Renaissance painters adopting the imagery of Greek and Roman putti (winged child-like figures), cherubs eventually became the cute little guys we associate with them today, though still strongly associated with their proximity to God. What I’m asking is: Is Heathcliff a divine being? Will He soon transcend away from our experience, leaving behind the cherubim he created in His image to relay to us commandments about what kind of helmets we are to wear, and when?

The Lockhorns, 5/5/26

As a frequent public transit user, I think people’s worry about crime on public transit is largely overblown, but there are definitely dangers to look out for. Like, for instance, what if Leroy Lockhorn just started blathering on at you about how he can’t keep up with the slang the kids use these days, and your stop is miles away? Not the sort of thing that’ll happen to you in your car, I’ll say that.

Judge Parker, 5/5/26

“I mean, we’re not here, so it’s not like we have any idea how good a job you’re doing. But we know you have low self-esteem and will do pretty much any annoying job if people compliment you for it, so we’re giving that a shot.”

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Oh, it’s OK to punch a guy in the throat, but this goes too far somehow

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Hi and Lois, 4/7/26

You know, if, before today, you had asked me which Walker-Browne character would have been the first to declare themselves a sovereign citizen, I would’ve guessed Rocky from Beetle Bailey. I can’t say that it’s a huge surprise to see Thirsty winning this particular race, however.

Judge Parker, 4/7/26

OK, so, when I said that this thing was maybe a fraternity paddle yesterday, I was joking, because where would they get a fraternity paddle? But Randy as an ex frat boy suddenly makes a lot of sense, honestly. He went to Harvard Law but Harvard doesn’t have a Greek system, so where do we think he did undergrad? Duke? Feels like a Duke guy, right?

Gil Thorp, 4/7/26

FORESHADOWING! Which Mudlark golfer will lose an eye when a sudden gust blows a chip shot right back in their face? Who will be found liable when courtroom testimony about this very conversation results in multiple diverging interpretations, Rashomon-style? Stay tuned to Gil Thorp to find out!