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Gil Thorp, 8/4/26

I have thought for some time now that Gil is universally considered the most important person in Milford, and perhaps even in whatever geographic region is covered by the whole Valley Conference (“the Valley,” I guess). Today’s strip is more evidence: I simply don’t believe that an ordinary person could call the cops and say “Uh, this guy at my wedding is being weird” and they’d show up in less time than it takes for said guy to finish his supervillain monologue.

Judge Parker, 8/4/26

The fun thing about Judge Parker is that there are two potential ways this could play out — April is furious that Neddy has left their child in the care of her perfectly capable adult sister, with a family rift and endless boring emotional processing to come, or the “April” calling Neddy is actually an AI deepfake voice program and this is part of a larger plot to kidnap Charlotte — and I’m not sure which it’s going to be.

Hi and Lois, 8/4/26

Hey, Irma is married to Thirsty, and Lois, her only friend, recently (in 1980, 1980 is recently in comic strip time) got a job as a realtor and can’t spend as much time hanging out with her as she used to. Let her have fun on her dang phone! Are a few afternoons lost to an infinite scroll through one AI slop reel after another really that much worse than watching her claw desperately at a block of wood like an animal?

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Judge Parker, 8/2/26

Oh wow, as predicted, that big Hollywood exec loved Ann’s little sermon and green-lit the series as soon as she stalked out of the room. So now it looks like all’s well that ends … wait, what’s that? April’s calling? She wants to make sure her intellectual property rights to Netflix’s new daughters extended universe are respected? And she’s calling on whatever number Neddy has for her in her phone? Which presumably could be very easily tracked by [tries and fails to remember who April is on the run from exactly, decides it’s not worth investigating] her enemies?

Mary Worth, 8/2/26

So Dawn has been unable to track down Tommy ever since he overheard Wilbur talking shit about him, leading him to purchase drugs and subsequently flush them down the toilet. This has caused Dawn some anxiety, but good news! He’s fine. He’s come by to tell Dawn that her good words strengthened his resolve, and he did a bunch of drugs to prove to himself that he can quit whenever he wants and that he’s not an addict anymore. Problem solved!

Suburban Fairy Tales, 8/2/26

Suburban Fairy Tales is a strip whose main characters are the Three Little Pigs, and one thing that’s always bugged me about it is that it neglects the Three Little Pigs’ best-known defining characteristics: that they have wildly divergent skills when it comes to building structures that can endure abuse. Well, today is a shout-out to us Three Little Pigs oldheads, and I for one appreciate it.

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Judge Parker, 7/31/26

I guess I had missed it, but Ann has apparently decided that her mission is now “helping people,” I think people who used to be in prison or maybe former con artists specifically, and Neddy and Ronnie got about 30 seconds into their pitch meeting for a show based on Ann’s life before Ann became disgusted by the shallow Hollywood values on display and launched into this self-righteous diatribe. Sadly, I suspect she won’t be the first person to successfully neg her way into a TV deal.

Herb and Jamaal, 7/31/26

Wow, Rev. Croom, for a clergyman who, if I’m parsing this internal monologue correctly, is experiencing some kind of crisis of faith, you sure look awfully smug in that last panel!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/31/26

I’d like to believe that the gag writer here submitted something that was very obviously about a specific real airline that they had a terrible experience with, and they had to go back and forth with the syndicate over not doing something that would get them all sued before eventually landing on “Airworst Airlines,” which is so stupid and I genuinely love it.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/31/26

Hey, uh, Snuffy. What’s going on with your skin, man. Did, ah. Did you have Granny Creeps whip up a colloidal silver tincture to cure your syphilis, or what.