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Judge Parker, 7/8/26

Hey, remember when Neddy tried to be a TV writer, and managed to sell Netflix a pilot about April, the violent, terrifying CIA assassin daughter-in-law of the strip’s namesake? Well, having run out of ideas after her first idea, she’s now trying to pitch a TV show about Ann, the violent, terrifying scam artist daughter of the strip’s namesake. She’s gonna keep at it until she runs out of daughters!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/8/26

So the way a joke works, usually, is that you start with a setup that’s grounded in the known and the expected, and then you hit your audience with a surprising twist. Like, imagine beloved cartoon character Bugs Bunny giving us his classic line, “What’s up, doc?” That’s expected. But then the point of view expands, and we can see that he’s not just delivering a saucy greeting — he’s actually requesting medical data from a doctor, who has some tough news for him. Now, would that be a good joke? Enh, not really. But, I submit to you, it would be recognizable as a joke, in a way that today’s Mother Goose and Grimm most definitely is not.

Luann, 7/8/26

Luann, meanwhile, is beyond “jokes,” and I respect it. Bernice is going to become an influencer for toilet perverts! There’s some backstory leading up to this, but honestly you don’t need it.

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Crankshaft, 7/3/26

Ugh, fine, I guess I’ll update you on what’s going on in this Crankshaft flashback: Harry Dinkle’s drunk dad was all set to debut a new song at the Starlight Ballroom, but then nobody showed up because they all liked Elvis now, and he threw the sheet music to the ground and stormed off, and later Eugene and Lucy picked it up. Anyway, then Dinkle Sr. drove away in a white-hot rage right into the lake, where he died! “That’s how he would’ve wanted to go out,” says Harry, about to play his father’s last song in the bombed-out ruins of the Starlight Ballroom. “At a real emotional low point.”

Judge Parker, 7/3/26

Hey, remember the early days of my coverage of this strip, when Sophie was a weird, unsettlingly adult-like child? Well, Neddie has scooted off to take a Hollywood meeting (you can tell because of the sunglasses) with her former roommate/writing partner and left Sophie in charge of Charlotte, who is the strip’s current weird, unsettling adult-like child, I guess to help her learn that someday she’ll grow up and become as normal and annoying as everyone else in this strip.

Crock, 7/3/26

Wow, a nose so big a maître d’ mistakes it for an entirely separate person? Can you imagine? That’s definitely the sort of thing that would lead someone to seek cosmetic surgery!

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Pluggers, 6/28/26

Oh, did you need Moses to commune with YHWH atop Mt. Horeb and bring down a commandment about it before you knew that you have to remember the sabbath day and keep it holy? Well, pluggers just kind of know to do that, like, instinctively. Maybe even biologically. When God says He’s making man in “His image,” maybe He meant a hideous beast-man, actually, you ever think about that?

Judge Parker, 6/28/26

Yeah, so, Sophie, what you are experiencing is not so much jet lag as what we in the biz call a “manic episode.” Not sure Norwegian coffee will help! Unless it’s the opposite of caffeinated? Like, not decaf, but way way past that into negative caf. Anyway, good luck!