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Archive: Lockhorns

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Mostly medical Tuesday

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Gil Thorp, 3/29/22

Ahhh, if it’s spring, it must be time for … the Gil Thorp baseball plot, which will definitely involve these young men and their varying degrees of enthusiasm for baseball trivia! I’m not a “sports guy” but the answer to this question has to be pitching-related, right, since they used to put pitchers in 60 games a year or whatever but now they’ve evolved into delicate, crane-like creatures capable of throwing at superhuman speeds but also they need lots of downtime between starts or their hollow bones will explode? Anyway, mostly what I’m thinking about here is how insulting it must be to be relegated to “and friends…” status behind “Scooter Borden” and “Gregg Hamm”. That’s too many Gs and too many Ms, Gregg!

The Lockhorns, 3/29/22

Someone being present during their spouse’s physical is a little unusual but not unheard of. But I like the way Loretta has her purse slung over her shoulder here. Like she could take off at any minute if this gets boring. C’mon, doc, you gotta keep teeing up the sick burns if you want her to stick around!

Pluggers, 3/29/22

Haha, I love the “lots and lots and LOTS of pluggers” credit for this one. “WE GET IT,” the Chief Plugger is saying, “YOU PEOPLE NEED MASSIVE, COSTLY, AND ONGOING PHARMACEUTICAL INTERVENTIONS IN ORDER TO LIVE”

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Rex gonna ask Sarah “for an autograph” and it’s actually a document legally separating her from their finances, just in case

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Rex Morgan, M.D, 3/20/22

So, we’ve already established that Sarah will suffer no consequences for possibly accidentally amnesia-plagiarizing her lucrative new characters, “the Doggo Twins,” from her erstwhile art teacher. But were you harboring some worries that she really was ripping them off, which might count against her mortal soul, even though she can’t remember it? Well, fear not: she didn’t. I honestly love how this could’ve been a “ha ha, we can laugh about it now” moment but Rex is actually very interested in the exonerative aspects of this sketchbook. “So, is there a date in there anywhere? Something legible? Something that would hold up in court?”

Daddy Daze, 3/20/22

The line between “Ha ha, this certainly is a relatable strip about the highs and lows of being a single parent!” and “The Daddy Daze daddy is having a hard time. A hard time. Here’s got problems, a lot of problems” is thin, but I feel like we crossed it a while back at high speed and are showing no signs of stopping or even slowing down.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 3/20/22

I’m sorry, Leroy is four feet tall, tops, he definitely does not wear size 10 shoes.

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Not sure what else Leroy would be doing other than this, I guess, this is his only hobby

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Blondie, 3/1/22

Sorry, I know Blondie loves nothing more than mash together their characters’ extremely broadly defined character traits with whatever “topical content” they can think of, but I have to call bullshit on this one. Sure, Dagwood Bumstead 1.0, the wealthy, dissolute failson, would’ve hopped on the Panama Limited in Chicago and turned his Pullman Car into an impromptu speakeasy before rolling into New Orleans the next morning, then spent the next week in a gin and ether haze throwing beads at flappers. But 2022 Dagwood Bumstead is a smug, polo-shirt wearing suburbanite who doesn’t spend any time in whatever city his suburb is next to and he absolutely isn’t going to some gross place like New Orleans where he might see poor people enjoying themselves in an uncouth manner. I suppose it’s possible he used the request to get Mr. Dithers to “compromise” on letting him dress like a jackass at work, but I honestly don’t think Dithers needs much prompting to let Dagwood embarrass himself in public.

Mary Worth, 3/1/22

Cal and Toby’s frisbee banter is very weird, as they’re repeatedly complimenting each other on their skills at an extremely simple pastime for children. I’m wondering if Cal is supposed to be an Ultimate Frisbee player, which is somewhat more difficult, but the syndicate made them take out “Ultimate” because it wasn’t relatable or maybe was trademarked, and then the artist interpreted the resulting dialogue by having these two just hurling a frisbee at each other with maximum force from like two feet away.

The Lockhorns, 3/1/22

Gotta love the little puff of breath in front of Leroy, telling you this is a cold day. He could’ve stayed home, or in the car, but he braved the chill to follow Loretta right up to the door of the spa so he could lob this little poison dart at her at the very last minute and ensure that the entire experience was ruined for her.