Mary Worth, 12/9/17
Aw, Wilbur’s come back to town with the intention of winning his old love back, if “implementing his last-ditch murder-suicide plan” counts as winning his old love back, which, for the record, it very much does not.
Mark Trail, 12/9/17
That is definitely the face of a man who spent a long trans-Atlantic flight with a whole bunch of extremely pointy diamonds in his lower GI tract.
Mark Trail, 12/8/17
Oh, wow, this plotline very quickly went from baffling avant-garde theater to the least arousing gay pornography anyone could possibly imagine.
Funky Winkerbean, 12/8/17
I’ve been sitting here for five minutes (the maximum amount of consecutive time my doctor and my family have told me I’m allowed to think about Funky Winkerbean) trying to figure out what “Now this is something I can relate to” is supposed to mean here. Like, he … enjoys taking baths in public fountains? Or at least can relate to the impulse? Or is it just that he, like the ducks, takes a shower every morning? And what’s up with the “now” part? Was the entire trip to one of America’s great historic cities wholly unrelatable to this schlub from the rust belt suburbs of northeastern Ohio up to this point? I’m definitely sure I’ve put more thought into this than anyone who worked on this strip, whose main concern was probably “How can I write that trip to Memphis off on my taxes?”
Six Chix, 12/8/17
It’s true what they say: Christmas does come earlier every year! Like, I swear, Christmas music has been on the radio for weeks know, and people usually don’t start feeling like a tradition that arose to show love and appreciation to your loved ones in the spirit of the gifts brought to the baby Jesus had devolved into a materialistic, transactional zero-sum game until at least December 15th.
Mark Trail, 12/5/17
I for one am extremely excited for Mark Trail to finally become the full-on avant garde art project we’ve always imagined it to be. When the one-eyed man and his companion, a gentleman with a blue suit and pocket square who’s cosplaying a mid-level Ancient Egyptian official from the 19th Dynasty from the neck up, encounter a wizened old clown who just screams and screams, American newspaper readers will experience the mingled terror, confusion, alienation, and catharsis formerly available only to highbrow types seeing radical theater produced in big cities.
Family Circus, 12/5/17
I have to admit that I genuinely laughed out loud at Jeffy’s smug facial expression here. “Eh?” he’s saying. “Breakdown of traditional gender roles? Eh? Eh?”