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Mark Trail, 3/15/20

“We are here, and by ‘here’ I mean … somewhere in … a city, maybe? Definitely on a street corner of some kind. And there’s a crowd of people … nearby? … who may or may not have anything to do with whatever’s happening here right now. But the important thing is that we’ve brought in Mark Trail to talk about Tinseltown movie magic, and — get this — he put on a suit and tie to talk to us. And not a well-tailored suit, either! What a rube!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/15/20

I honestly can’t tell if Rex is trying to put a stop to the flirting, because it’s workplace-inappropriate and also leads to sex which is icky and gross, or if the thinks that his weird, obfuscative statement that doesn’t indicate who’s flirting with who somehow constitutes more flirting.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 3/15/20

Have you ever wondered if the sapient bird-women and -men if Mother Goose and Grimm live their lives in terror thinking about the very real possibility that they’ll be killed, dismembered, and served up to humans to eat at a popular fast food restaurant? Well, good (?) news!

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Mark Trail, 7/14/20

Oh, say, it looks like Hollywood Bad Boy Jeremy Cartwright is going to get more than he bargained for in his ridealong with Mark Trail, because instead of seeing Mark natter on about nature or whatever, which he’d snicker about in between bouts of surreptitiously doing lines of cocaine, he’s gonna get to see Mark punch out some evil bighorn poachers, which he’ll deeply respect because the only people he’s ever punched out have been his fellow actors under the careful guidance of an on-set fight choreographer and a paparazzo that one time, when he was on a lot of cocaine. I don’t think the guy in the first panel is meant to be against the highly illegal bighorn sheep trade, by the way; I’m pretty sure he loves crimes and his face just looks like that.

Dennis the Menace, 7/14/20

The real menace here is not how dumb Dennis is, how painfully dumb he is, just dumb as a box of rocks, but rather that the library, knowing that today’s youth is shallow and obsessed with celebrities, has a book called Famous People that they hand out to the little shits to keep them quiet. It didn’t work in this particular case, but you should see what a mess it’d be there without it.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/14/20

If just seeing an actress in a Lisa wig has sent Les into a state of catatonia, then seeing Mason wearing a Les 1.0 hair prosthesis will kill him, just strike him dead where he stands. I honestly would like to think that this was the plan all along. They’ll all finally be free of him.

Pluggers, 7/14/20

The “you” in this caption really sent a chill down my spine. You think pluggers don’t affect your life? Wrong. You’re trapped here with them, and their screwups are your problem and there’s nothing you can do about it, so get ready to chow down.

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Mark Trail, 7/10/20

Wow, this hotshot Hollywood producer clearly does not respect her himbo movie star boyfriend’s intellectual capabilities or ability to focus on consecutive sentences within a conversation at all, does she? “Jeremy, honey, [plausible-sounding justification for visiting Mark Trail]!” “And that’s why you set up a public meeting with me and Mr. Trail?” “Yes, I think it would be a good idea for [plausible-sounding justification for visiting Mark Trail that’s entirely different from the one she just floated like 15 seconds earlier]!”

Beetle Bailey, 7/10/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because Beetle suffered a traumatic brain injury!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/10/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because Sheriff Tait broke his hand punching Snuffy in the face!