Archive: Mark Trail

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Mark Trail, 6/19/09

Who has the greatest hair in Mark Trail history? This guy! Panel two offers us a close-up of its jellied texture, but I’m more intrigued by panels one and three, in which the backflap appears to be hanging stiffly down the back of the skull, presumably attached by some sort of hinge mechanism to the top panel. When it comes time for punching, we’re apparently going to learn that it isn’t just facial hair Mark hates; it’s abnormal hair of all stripes.

Gil Thorp, 6/19/09

Wow, I never thought I’d be pleased to see Jeff “The ’Czak” Ponczak and Matt the Hatt and their stupid public access show, and I certainly never thought I’d be pleased to see them mostly naked, but I have to admit that panel three is something of a breath of fresh air. It’s not as good as Gil urging a parent to sue his employers in panel two, but it’s pretty close.

Beetle Bailey, 6/19/09

When General Halftrack finally decides to end it all, he’s not going out alone. The folks who work in his office can only pray that when he reaches that moment of despair, his fingers will be so palsied from drink that he’ll lack the fine motor control skills necessary to pull out the pin.

Marmaduke, 6/19/09

Vasectomy?

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Hey kids, it’s comics education time! You’ve probably seen me refer to “throwaway panels” when I tackle some of the Sunday strips, and it may be that you don’t know what this means! Essentially, most Sunday strips are shipped to newspapers with an extra row of panels at the top, which some (many, in these days of shrinking budgets) papers cut off so that they can fit more comics into a limited space; as a result, the strip as a whole must be able to stand without these panels. There are varying strategies for dealing with the narrative problem thus raised.

Panels from Dennis the Menace, 6/14/09

For instance, some strips use them to present little mini-episodes that stand somewhat apart from the main action. A good example is today’s Dennis the Menace, where we learn that Mr. Wilson would like nothing better than to spray his irritating neighbor with deadly poison.

Panels from Curtis, 6/14/09

Another is today’s Curtis, where we discover that Gunther is sweeping the floor to his barbershop! Ha ha! That Gunther! What won’t he do?

Mary Worth, 6/14/09

Sometimes the throwaway panels change the focus of the strip. For instance, without the top row of panels in today’s Mary Worth, we’d probably manage to ignore those pinkish briquettes that Mary and Toby are gobbling up by the fistful. But with those panels in place, we’re forced to confront the fact that they’re genuine Mary Worth-prepared “salmon squares,” and must kill a little bit of our souls trying to figure out what, exactly, a “salmon square” might be. Has Mary taken moist, delicious, tender salmon and mercilessly baked it until it’s a series of hard, crispy pucks that are easy to pick up without getting your hands oily, and that taste like ashes in your mouth? Is the salmon inside some kind of pink pastry shell, resulting in an awful salmon-flavored Pop-Tart? Was this so-called “new recipe” written on parchment in human blood in the bowels of hell by Satan himself? Probably!

Marvin, 6/14/09

Then there are throwaway panels that alter the entire thrust of the strip. For instance, without the top row of panels, this strip could be summarized as “babies love cookies, and grandmas love giving cookies to babies”; but with them, the message is more “babies and dogs are an awful lot alike.”

Mark Trail, 6/14/09

And sometimes the throaway panels can accommodate differing levels of ambient prudishness across various media markets. Would a drawing of a comely lass in a bikini result in angry letters from comics readers in your paper’s distribution area? Just remove the top row et voilà! You’ll still get a helpful text wall on avoiding rip currents, and a terrifying close up of our naive swimmer dying in terror. That seagull in the final panel doesn’t seem to be helping matters; in fact, I’m guessing that he will soon be dive-bombing our hapless swimmer, so that she’ll drown more quickly and fatten up the fishes that he’ll eat later. Nature is cruel!

Funky Winkerbean, 6/14/09

Unrelated to throwaway panels, but related to dying in terror: does this strip finally settle the “What happened to Wally” question? This being Funky Winkerbean, we should have guessed that he died, probably in terror.

I was going to make a crack about how Becky conveniently arranged the parade to conclude at the cemetery where Wally’s grave was, but in all likelihood in the world of Funky Winkerbean it’s impossible to plan a parade — indeed, it’s impossible to plan a trip of any significant distance — that doesn’t end up at a graveyard.

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Mark Trail, 6/12/09

Oh ho! It looks like this Mark Trail dialogue will be serving up some crackling dialogue and verbal jousting covering up underlying sexual tension, just like the best screwball comedies of the ’30s! If, once you’ve forced your way into the head office of a major corporation, there’s a better opening gambit than “I live on a wildlife preserve called Lost Forest!” then I don’t want to know about. And frankly I’d like to see virtually every insane, improperly emphasized sentence out of Mark’s mouth dismissed with a quick “Good for you.”

Gil Thorp, 6/12/09

Hey there Mr. Fancy Artist Man, it’s just Gil Thorp, and within Gil Thorp it’s just Shep Trumbo, so there’s no need to bust out the super-emphasized perspective as you have in panel one, mmmkay? What with the bobble lines around Shep’s head and his severe foreshortening, it looks like he’s going through some kind of mutant-growth spurt that will leave him twenty feet tall, a monstrously huge prankster jerk. The splayed fingers poking out of the left side of the panel look like a floppy mass of tentacles, adding to the freakishness. Meanwhile, panel two features more nostril than anyone wants out of this feature.