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Six Chix, 4/3/20

I suppose the “joke” in today’s Six Chix is that dentists love to ask deep, philosophical questions that require a lot of talking in response while they have their hands and a bunch of dental implements in your mouth, amiright folks? Amiright? But because this panel features only the basics of a dental facility surrounded by a blank, featureless void, I’m enjoying myself by thinking of this as a depiction of someone’s specific hell. “So what do you think happens when we die?” asks the dentist-demon. “Do you think it’s a real showy stereotypical fire-and-brimstone thing? Or do you think it’s something maybe less painful, but something we know, something we hate and fear, and we experience it forever? Probably the second one, right? Let’s get the tartar off that top gum line again.”

Daddy Daze, 4/3/20

So it seems that Coffee Goth is in fact Daddy Daze Daddy’s pal and a recurring character in this strip. The fact that the two of them are bellied up to a coffee shop counter rather than a bar honestly makes me realize how many male comic strip characters’ social lives revolve around going to a bar on a regular basis to commiserate with other regulars, which seems a little dated to me. But Daddy Daze Daddy isn’t like that! He’s not some sad drunk! He’s a much more modern archetype: a sad coffee guy! That’s a totally different and much more enlightened texture of sadness!

Mark Trail, 4/3/20

“But now you’re also going out into the woods with me in the middle of the night! That seems like a bad idea! But I still trust you! I’m not really very smart!”

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/30/20

What’s your favorite part of this extremely improbable scene? Some might say it’s that the makeshift Hootin’ Holler clinic, which is in such dire shape that the waiting area is separated from the rest of the facility by a patched sheet in what is almost certainly a serious HIPAA violation, somehow has a functioning EKG machine, even if the accompanying treadmill is predictably not in operation. But for me, it’s that Snuffy has stripped to the waist so the electrodes can be attached to his gnomish torso, but is still wearing his overalls, the straps flapping behind him as he hops.

Blondie, 3/30/20

The only way this smash-cut joke actually works is if Blondie chloroformed Dagwood between panels one and two, changed him out if his work vest into his casual sweater, then hauled his unresponsive body to the car, dragged him into a restaurant booth, and waited for him to come to before delivering this zinger. It would mess with the rhythm of the strip to show all that, of course, but I do sincerely want to see it.

Mark Trail, 3/30/20

Wow, this really takes a lot of the weight off of Rusty, who thought he was going to have explain this! Thanks, Eric, for breaking the bad news to Kevin. You’re the real hero!

Six Chix, 3/30/20

“If You Truly Want To Be One Of The Six Chix, You Need To Do A Vaguely Pervy Bigfoot Strip”: another installment in a continuing series.

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Blondie, 3/24/20

When the creators of a long-running legacy comic learn about the existence of some cultural artifact or practice popular among people under 45, and feel obliged to wedge it into their work but are unable to hide the fact that it makes them feel like a weird alien who can no longer recognize their own society — that’s some of my favorite shit, man. I live for it. Anyway, what this strip really should make us realize is that, while Dagwood is usually depicted as playing a lot of Facebook games, a beloved old-person activity, in real life he would absolutely have an Instagram that he updates constantly with pictures of food, right?

Mark Trail, 3/24/20

Oh, ha ha, so, it turns out the cruel blond tween is actually the (presumably biological?) son of the Crowleys! It’s going to be a real treat for Kevin to move from a tenuous position as an orphan to a tenuous position as an adopted child with a new brother who fiercely resents him while his new parents smile obliviously.

Mary Worth, 3/24/20

Ha ha, damn, just one stupid Star Wars parody film and Dawn is head over heels! Hugo had to paint a whole goddamn house!

Dennis the Menace, 3/24/20

I guess this is supposed to be another panel in the “ha ha, Dennis is extremely stupid” category, but what actually comes across is that what we think of as “meat” has made out of something other than animals for years and somehow Joey and Dennis are in on the conspiracy, that that’s frankly terrifying.