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Shoe, 5/12/18

Today’s Shoe is one of those strips that really drives home the care that’s been put into coming up with grotesque chimeric body plans for the strip’s bird-people characters. There’s something in particular about putting clothes on them that drives it home: the Perfesser, in particular, is very obviously not wearing pants, as that would make the fan of tail feathers emerging from his suit jacket impossible; one must assume, in panel one, that his tie, too long for human fashion, is in fact meant to be decorously draped over his bird-junk. His “sexy” interlocutor, in constrast, exhibits a number of mammalian characteristics — not just the hourglass figure, but the long cascade of hair, plus the feminine eyelashes protruding so far from her face that they’re visible when her eyes are not, though their very troubling length seems to imply that they’re fake. Maybe her hair is too! Maybe all the non-bird-features on these creatures are in fact cosmetics or surgical enhancements, adding status in their weird bird society! God, this strip is an endless nightmare.

Mark Trail, 5/12/18

I guess I’ve made my peace with the fact that Mark and Cherry showing off their hot bods is something this strip is going to do from time to time, but I will not sit back and accept the fact that Rusty is ripped. When he looked like Ted Cruz but somehow also handsome that was bad enough, but those pecs? Too far.

Family Circus, 5/12/18

“Instead of a heart, I drew a circle because all our misshapen human organs will be replaced by a powerful, glowing orb when The Change comes!”

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Crankshaft, 5/10/18

The “town moms prepare to do battle with Crankshaft, because he’s so bad at his job and contemptuous of the public that he makes their lives miserable in innumerable ways” sequence is an annual strip staple, though I believe this is the first time we’ve seen one of the mothers training to punch Crankshaft in the face until she’s physically exhausted.

Mark Trail, 5/10/18

Just putting this out there: have we ever seen any indication that the Trail family cabin has modern HVAC, or indeed indoor plumbing? I feel like Mark is protesting a little too much here for the benefit of his Mexican cabbie. “Boy! No power, no air conditioning … no showers, which are all things that, uh, I definitely use on a daily basis and know how to operate, in America.”

Spider-Man, 5/10/18

Gentlemen, you could, uh, put some shirts on? Now that you’re not transforming into horrible monsters? And maybe change into some non-tattered pants? No pressure, you don’t have to, but, you know, you could.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/10/18

REX MORGAN, M.D.: SPINE-TINGLING TALES OF SCHEDULING DISAPPOINTMENTS!!!!

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Mark Trail, 5/7/18

Have I plugged my novel lately? Is it possible that I have relatively new readers who aren’t even aware that I wrote a novel? Horrors! Guys, I wrote a novel, called The Enthusiast, that’s about a mysterious marketing agency that tries to drum up enthusiasm for products and projects and abstract concepts, and you can buy it where books are sold, though you’re probably after the Amazon link, aren’t you? ANYHOO, a lot of the book revolves around obsessive fan communities, specifically fans of old soap opera comic strips, something you could guess I know a little bit about, and railfans who are really into subways, something you might not know that I’m similarly into but I am! Where I’m going with this, other trying to boost enthusiasm for something I’m selling within my own content in an act of meta-marketing, is that I’m “in the know” enough to be aware that adjacent to train obsessives you have your airplane obsessives, and Rusty seems to be on his way to becoming one. Sure, most of them are into spotting different kinds of planes and detailing their flight experiences on different airlines, but I’m sure there are whole Internet message boards to serve those who, like Rusty, are fixated on the relative size of various airports and of the crowds of people who use them. You do you, Rusty! Never be embarrassed about the things you think are interesting!

Spider-Man, 5/7/18

I’m not going to lie, my entire knowledge of the Hulk comes from the occasional Marvel Cinematic Universe movie I see, but … is it really part of the canon that, when he’s in non-Hulk form, he leaves the scene by just, like, swimming off shirtlessly or whatever. Can that be right? It seems like that can’t be right.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/7/18

Here’s today’s Funky Winkerbean, in which some poor sap can’t figure out if Les is named “Les Moore” or “Legacy Trilogy,” and Les does not seem very interested in helping him figure it out!