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Mark Trail, 5/7/18

Have I plugged my novel lately? Is it possible that I have relatively new readers who aren’t even aware that I wrote a novel? Horrors! Guys, I wrote a novel, called The Enthusiast, that’s about a mysterious marketing agency that tries to drum up enthusiasm for products and projects and abstract concepts, and you can buy it where books are sold, though you’re probably after the Amazon link, aren’t you? ANYHOO, a lot of the book revolves around obsessive fan communities, specifically fans of old soap opera comic strips, something you could guess I know a little bit about, and railfans who are really into subways, something you might not know that I’m similarly into but I am! Where I’m going with this, other trying to boost enthusiasm for something I’m selling within my own content in an act of meta-marketing, is that I’m “in the know” enough to be aware that adjacent to train obsessives you have your airplane obsessives, and Rusty seems to be on his way to becoming one. Sure, most of them are into spotting different kinds of planes and detailing their flight experiences on different airlines, but I’m sure there are whole Internet message boards to serve those who, like Rusty, are fixated on the relative size of various airports and of the crowds of people who use them. You do you, Rusty! Never be embarrassed about the things you think are interesting!

Spider-Man, 5/7/18

I’m not going to lie, my entire knowledge of the Hulk comes from the occasional Marvel Cinematic Universe movie I see, but … is it really part of the canon that, when he’s in non-Hulk form, he leaves the scene by just, like, swimming off shirtlessly or whatever. Can that be right? It seems like that can’t be right.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/7/18

Here’s today’s Funky Winkerbean, in which some poor sap can’t figure out if Les is named “Les Moore” or “Legacy Trilogy,” and Les does not seem very interested in helping him figure it out!

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Mark Trail, 5/5/18

Is it just me or has this “Rusty woos a young lady” plotline suddenly transformed Mark’s ward from his usual form as a hideous boy-thing into a handsome lad with piercing blue eyes? We all know that we can’t just change our appearance at a whim, that would be absurd, so I have to assume that we’re seeing Rusty’s own mental image of himself at this precise moment, influenced by some combination of close proximity to a girl who isn’t visibly recoiling from him in horror and the lower oxygen levels at high altitude.

Mary Worth, 5/5/18

Good lord! Wilbur’s so far gone that he’s failed to adequately oil up his combover, leaving it to blow willy-nilly in the ocean breeze! Just give him a firm shove over the cliff, Mary; if he were in his right mind, he would much prefer death to a life like … this.

Crankshaft, 5/5/18

Crankshaft dropped so many pills under the fridge that he brought in the cops and a drug-sniffing dog to find them, ha ha! In other news, Centerville has a serious drug problem in its high school.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/5/18

“Baby rabies” is the kind of rabies you get when you’re bitten by a rabid baby. It’s the worst kind of rabies there is and as a medical professional Rex should not be joking about it!

Family Circus, 5/5/18

Aww, isn’t that cute! The car is Jeffy’s cloth mother!

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Funky Winkerbean, 5/3/18

Hey, you know how Funky Winkerbean is extremely up its own asshole about comics? Like, it’s a comic and one of its main locales is a comic book shop and many of its characters are either comics obsessives or comics obsessives who managed to snag actual jobs in the comics industry? And now those guys (who, to reiterate, are themselves characters in a comic strip) are being given the opportunity to create their own fresh new comics characters? Well, get this: what if this comic-within-the-comic had its origins in [pause for dramatic music sting] A COMIC BOOK SHOP????? Really makes you think, huh?

Mark Trail, 5/3/18

So for some reason Mark has spent the last several days recounting to his family the plot of ¡Three Amigos!, a 1986 Steve Martin-Chevy Chase-Martin Short vehicle that is widely remembered with a certain amount of warmth, but apparently Rusty has checked out from this lesson in pop culture to go talk to a girl. A girl! This is what happens when you leave the compound! Mark’s weird sidelong glance in the last panel shows that he knows that, in theory, it’s important for someone Rusty’s age to learn the basic social skills necessary to interact with another human outside of his immediate kinship group, but that doesn’t mean he has to be happy about it.