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Marvin, 9/5/19

I’m not really a fan of the way Jeff and Guy Who I’m Reasonably Sure We’ve Never Seen Before But We’re Expected To Believe That He And Jeff Have This Long Backstory And Established Emotional Intimacy, And Also He’s Named “Bill,” I Guess, are looking at the viewer in the third panel, implicating us in their own retrograde view of masculinity. “It’s like, guys, am I right, people?” they’re thinking. “We’re incapable of feeding ourselves, and that’s why we’re dying of cardiovascular disease!”

Pluggers, 9/5/19

Pluggers know that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but more often it signifies the phallus, that potent symbol that proclaims and establishes male domination over society.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/15/19

Oh, whoops, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the antics in Rex Morgan, M.D., for which I apologize! The antics are as follows: Rex decided to tag along with the Lewtons Miss Galexia’s live performance, partly to help his patient break free from his delusional beliefs, but mostly because it would give him an opportunity to be as smugly self-righteous as possible, which we all know is sweetest high Rex can experience. And whaddya know, he was able to recognize his daughter’s old art teacher under that fake beard! It’s a pretty impressive feat to remain smugly self-righteous when threatening someone with mafia violence, but Rex is a real pro at this.

Marvin, 8/15/19

You know, considering how many Marvin punchlines revolve around Marvin not being potty trained, this strip seems to forget surprisingly often that Marvin is a literal baby, who shouldn’t be left alone out in the yard and who definitely isn’t tall enough to be looking through that window.

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Beetle Bailey, 8/14/19

The thing I like so much about today’s Beetle Bailey is how furious Major Greenbrass looks as General Halftrack delivers the punchline. I have to assume that he saw Halftrack set up the sign on his desk and asked about it, only to have the general say he’d explain once they got on the course. “This?” the major’s face says. “I waited that entire car ride over for this?”

Marvin, 8/14/19

Man, say what you will about all the excrement and urine content Marvin puts us through, but at least we can be thankful that we weren’t subjected to Marvin’s parents talking about sex in what I’m quite sure was an extremely unpleasant manner.

Pluggers, 8/14/19

“Pluggers used to love getting smashed, but now they gotta let a doctor put a camera up their butthole to make sure they’re not dying” sure is a mood for the middle of the week, am I right, folks? Let’s all just sit quietly here for a moment, plugger and non-plugger alike, and think about what the future, or maybe even the present, has in store for us.