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Shoe, 2/16/24

I was about to start this post with “Sorry I’m the Perfeser facial expression parser now,” but why should I apologize for that? You, my faithful readers, have specifically chosen to point your browser to josh reads dot com, the Comics Curmudgeon, or have perhaps even paid to receive post from that domain via email, so surely you of all people want the facial expressions of a clinically depressed cartoon bird man explicated to you, in a curmudgeonly way. Anyway, today’s strip is about how the Perfesser, in addition to being very depressed, is an alcoholic. You can tell because he looks like he wants to die in the first panel but after downing a tumbler of liquor in the second, he looks like he’s on top of the world. It won’t last!

Gasoline Alley, 2/16/24

We still don’t know what the shocking news in Gasoline Alley is, but we’ve heard characters talking a lot about how shocking and disturbing it is, and now Walt is going on a hunger strike, so I’m assuming it’s something like “LOCAL VET OF WORLD WAR I STILL ALIVE, GOVERNMENT SCIENTISTS AIM TO HARVEST HIS BLOOD TO CREATE IMMORTALITY SERUM”

Marvin, 2/16/24

“Our readers love it when we talk about Marvin pissing. Love it! But like all fetishists, they always need to escalate. What they want to see now is Marvin being pissed on. There’s nothing that the millions of sickos who read Marvin want more than to think about a toddler who’s simply covered in dog piss” –the Marvin creative team, who must be stopped, by the intervention of the U.S. military special forces if necessary

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Dick Tracy, 1/26/24

Fan fact, everybody: “the Amazing Baxter” is actually Fata, in a very clever disguise as a man, which the square, conventional minds of Neo-Chicago simply cannot see through. “He’s not like Fata!” declares Sam. “He’s a fella and she’s a lady!” Only Dick’s keen perception can see beyond the gender binary to the officer-involved shooting that he’s earned for this week.

Gasoline Alley, 1/26/24

Ha ha, Slim’s been banished from his own home due to false adultery accusations, and now he has nowhere to go and is starting to panic that he’ll freeze to death in his car! Say what you will about Gasoline Alley, but it does put out good ones occasionally, if you don’t like Slim, and I don’t.

Hagar the Horrible, 1/26/24

Hagar definitely went out and killed that moose in between panels, right? He didn’t just have the head lying around somewhere?

Marvin, 1/26/24

Jeff, you won plane tickets! I know you’ve been telling everyone that you won a vacation, but you actually just won plane tickets. That’s not the same thing at all!

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Hi and Lois, 1/25/24

Wow, that is a sinister expression on Dot’s face there in the final panel. “If I had the God-like power to erase anything from existence, what would it be? Why, my twin, my echo, my failed copy, the one person I’ve been with ever since the day I was born — even before, in the womb. Would I wipe him out with a gesture? Of course I would. There would finally be room for me, then.”

Marvin, 1/25/24

A thing about Marvin is that Marvin is awful, sure, but also sometimes you get strips about how the adults in his life also know he’s awful, and are scheming to spend as little time with him as possible. Almost like it’s written by someone who hates writing about this awful baby but it’s their job now and they can’t escape! Ha ha, I wouldn’t know anything about that.

Six Chix, 1/25/24

“Are … are you OK? Like, do you have someone to talk to, about this, or about anything, really?” –my initial reaction to a solid 40% of Six Chix strips