Post Content

Shoe, 6/2/20

A thing I find genuinely interesting is how in some strips, slowly, over many years, the title character is edged out of the protagonist slot and replaced by their previous #2. Thus, Blondie is now about Dagwood more often than not, Funky Winkerbean spends loathsome amounts of energy on the antics of Les Moore, and Shoe mostly follows the life of the Perfesser. In this case, he’s the marginally more sympathetic character, and this strip demonstrates that pretty well: you can tell that having to write this pun, which some high-priced consultant hired by the private equity firm that just bought the Tattler-Tribune says will “boost engagement,” makes him hate himself very, very much.

Mary Worth, 6/2/20

Oh, man, it’s not just Toby in this new plot, but Saul Wynter, too! Remember Saul Wynter? The old grump who got a dog to replace his wife, but the dog died, so Mary forced him to adopt a new dog? Well, it turns out one of his dear childhood friends has passed away, and even though it sounds like they hadn’t been in touch for a while, it’s nice to know that Saul’s entire life is still dominated by constant emotional loss.

Judge Parker, 6/2/20

yesssssss

judge parker senior has the ‘rona

JUDGE

PARKER

SENIOR

HAS

THE ‘RONA

Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/1/20

Finally, our long national nightmare is over! No, not that nightmare. Not the other one either. No, I’m talking about the interminable Dawn love story plot, which has finally wrapped up (for now [ominous music sting]) so we can move on to something important, like … a Toby plot? Sure. Absolutely. I will accept a Toby plot, fine. She’s going to fail at something, right? Baking, this time? I will definitely accept a Toby plot where she fails at baking.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/1/20

Newspaper comics are a weird medium — at once ephemeral but also in many ways demanding years of accumulated reading to truly understand the characters. For instance, you know and I know that Les is supposed to be the sympathetic protagonist of this strip, but … how would you expect anyone else to know? How is this not the beginning of a story where the wife murders her husband and all the readers at home root for her to get away with it?

Blondie, 6/1/20

Ha ha, that sure is a topical joke! I guess you two have given up on trying to not to give coronavirus to each other, though, huh? Just breathing droplets onto each other’s faces and whatnot. Anyway, is someone going to explain why the bird is wearing fuckin sunglasses or what.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 5/28/20

I am dying at Mary saying it’s always OK to love someone … or something … presumably to set the groundwork for her next romantic meddle in Dawn’s life. “Dear, once Jared inevitably dumps you, have considered loving something that … isn’t a person? Like a dog, or a tree, or a bridge. Or an abstract concept! Dawn, an abstract concept could never leave you! A dog, now … well, let’s not take any chances.”

Gasoline Alley, 5/28/20

Ahh, thought Walt Wallet, finally. It had been a long century, to be sure. His bones were tired. So tired. But the process he had put into motion in the trenches of World War I, which eventually catapulted America to a global dominance uniquely dependent on fossil fuels, was finally bearing fruit. Sure, the consequences would be terrible a few decades after he was gone, but now, at long last, he felt warm enough.