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Mary Worth, 8/14/20

Wait, are they really not going to tell us what the secret ingredient is that Madi whispered to Toby? I’m outraged that there’s a single thing that Toby knows that I don’t! Whatever it is, it must have some intense regenerative powers, as the remains of the loaf of banana bread is almost twice as big in panel two as it is in panel one, though that might be due to the divine intercession of Gram, to whom Madi is ostentatiously praying.

Funky Winkerbean, 8/14/20

Damn it, Funky Winkerbean, are you gonna make me do this? Because I can do this!

You keep not making sense and I will absolutely keep making maps, I swear to God

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/14/20

Ha ha, it’s funny because … the hovels in which the desperately poor characters in this comic live are infested with vermin?

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Beetle Bailey, 8/10/20

Every once in a while, Beetle Bailey accidentally stumbles into creating a surrealist masterpiece, and I think today is one of those days. What’s your favorite part of this unsettling dreamscape? I’m a big fan of the forest suddenly giving way to the Sonoran Desert, the barbed wire fence that just abruptly stops, and, of course, the way the soldiers stand silently a foot or so apart in a seemingly infinite line, their faces carefully absent of any emotion or affect.

Mary Worth, 8/10/20

Look, Toby, tens of thousands of people successfully produce passable banana bread every year, and it’s not because there’s a secret ingredient only they know that they aren’t letting you in on! Stop trying to make Madi betray her beloved dead grandmother’s secrets just so you can get a tiny bit of clout at your dumb condo board meeting. I was going to say “just admit that you’re an artist, not a baker,” but then I remembered that you’re not much of an artist, either.

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Mary Worth, 8/8/20

You gotta respect that, despite the fact that Toby is Mary’s only real friend, Mary maintains the upper hand in their relationship by keeping her in constant terror that Mary will reject her for some unforgivable transgression, like making subpar banana bread. Don’t hate me, Mary! Don’t cast me out into the outer darkness! Don’t leave me alone with nobody but Ian to talk to! Ian, for God’s sake! I couldn’t take it!

Dennis the Menace, 8/8/20

Starting with a healthy skepticism of the motivations behind the actions of powerful institutions but then veering into increasingly deranged paranoid conspiracy theories is a little on the nose for our current menacing moment, thank you very much!

Shoe, 8/8/20

“Because I and all the customers are birds. You know, animals, like you’d see in the zoo. Is there a special word for a bird-zoo? An avarium or something? Is that a thing? Anyway: birds.”