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Mary Worth, 8/31/25

Yes, Olive, you “saw” that she was struggling in the water, with your “eyes,” as she was immediately in “front” of you as you stood on the beach just a few “yards” away from her. Note also that Olive is implying heavily that she had pity on Vicki, the least bad of the bully gang. If it had been Naomi, that girl would be smugly rolling her eyes on the ocean floor right now. You notice they’re quoting John 15:13 and not Matthew 5:44!

Heathcliff, 8/31/25

Much as I enjoy seeing Surf Mummy in action, I must be a pedant here and object to the way he apparently sinks into the earth. If he were the disembodied spirit of a dead Egyptian prince, then I would accept this depiction of his return to the Duat, the land of the dead. However, as a physical mummy, he should instead be shown returning to his sarcophagus, whether that’s inside a pyramid or in some rock-cut tomb in the Nile Valley, then drawing the lid closed behind him.

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Hagar the Horrible, 8/30/25

Look, despite the fun (“fun”) I have here detailing all the anachronisms in Hagar the Horrible, I do in fact get that the anachronisms are the point of the strip, that it’s not a realistic historical drama but rather a comedy where half of its whole deal is “What if these Vikings acted like modern middle-class people sometimes?” But I feel like to pull this off you do need to maintain a narrative unity just within an individual strip, whereas today’s installment is all over the map. Hagar napping in a hammock in his fenced suburban yard? Sure, why not. Hagar interacting with some culture that uses smoke signals for communication, like Native Americans or medieval Italians? Fine, Vikings actually encountered both groups. But put the two together and it’s a mess. A mess, I say! Are we to believe that Hagar lives in Newfoundland or Apulia now? I don’t buy it!

Mary Worth, 8/30/25

Wow, Mary spends weeks gushing about how unique Olive is and all the special gifts she has, and then the girl does one little reincarnation fantasy at the Met and all of the sudden Mary’s like “Damn, this kid is a weirdo. Those bullies were right!”

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Mary Worth, 8/21/25

Mary Worth Update: Olive rushed into the surf and saved her drowning classmate, is one way to describe what happened, although another and possibly more accurate way is to say that Olive forced the beach lifeguard to rescue not one but two children from the undertow. Anyway, this has gotten most of her erstwhile bullies to change their thinking on the whole Olive situation. But not Naomi! Naomi will never stop living her truth, which is that Olive is a big weirdo. And good for her. Probably Olive will finally lose her patience and use her psychic powers to violently explode Naomi’s skull, but I appreciate someone who stands by their convictions instead of changing their mind just because of a little bit of selfless life-saving.

Rex Morgan, 8/21/25

Rex Morgan Update: Cody tracked down his bio-half-sis, who informed him that her brother does not want to meet their father’s bastard spawn. But that hasn’t stopped Cody! There hasn’t been a lot of medical business in this strip lately, but I do wonder if Rex’s clinic is equipped to handle whatever kind of injury a guy could deal out with a leaf blower, if he’s surprised enough.

Six Chix, 8/21/25

Six Chix Update: Wouldn’t it be funny if eating way too much meat made you spasm uncontrollably? Ha ha! I’m pretty sure it doesn’t, though. The main thing it does is give you heart disease, eventually, though it might fuck your colon up real bad first.