Post Content

Mary Worth, 11/22/16

My goodness, the corpse of Iris and Wilbur’s relationship is barely cold and look who just waltzed into her life? It’s a hunky fellow student who can match Wilbur’s chest hair but also sports luxurious locks and a roguish, manly stubble. Plus he knows that chivalry isn’t dead! You can tell because he refrained from saying “You dropped your extremely dopey hat!”

The Mary Worth house art style may have changed, but it’s still kind of impossible to tell how old anyone is, so I’m not sure if this handsome he-hunk is supposed to be an older student, like Iris, or if she’s just decided that if it’s OK for Wilbur to date her, it’s more than OK for her to date a twenty-year-old. Anyway, I like the smiles of approval the hip (?) young (????) couple of college students are bestowing upon them from the background.

Dick Tracy, 11/22/16

So, yeah, I don’t know how much detail I covered it in here, but the thing with Mysta Chimera is that she’s not actually the original dead Moon Maid who was Dick’s daughter-in-law, but is rather some other lady who was genetically modified to think that she’s Moon Maid by someone who I forgot for purposes I no longer remember. Anyway! Turns out she’s the weird old gangster dude’s daughter? Mostly I wanted to show you this strip because I find it funny how much more Mindy Ermine looks like a terrifying space alien than Mysta Chimera does.

Spider-Man, 11/22/16

Definitely one of my favorite parts of Newspaper Spider-Man is Peter’s reactions of entirely unmoored horror whenever his wife suggests perfectly nice things. “Drive to California? But … we’re so close to Premier Silver status on United! That means complimentary Economy Plus seating as long as seats are available at check-in! This is a disaster for us!”

Post Content

Marvin, 11/15/16

Yeah, uh, so, I didn’t mention it yesterday, but yesterday’s Marvin included Jeff’s mom telling him that his father was … back from the dead? I think my initial questions would be more general than Jeff’s, along the lines of “What?” and “How?” and “How are you dealing with this emotionally?” and “What kind of back-from-the-dead scenario are we talking about here, like a ghost, or a zombie, or a vampire, or a Frankenstein’s monster, or what?” But I don’t want to tell other people how to feel their feelings, so if Jeff wants to be all “His corpse, what was in my father’s coffin if not his CORPSE,” I support his emotional journey.

Mark Trail, 11/15/16

Oh, man, it looks like we misjudged that mean scary boar from a couple of weeks ago! He wasn’t mean or scary at all; he was just trying to get the hell off this exploding island, just like Mark and Abbey are. Too bad his species never developed boats, helicopters, emergency radios, or Coast Guards! Sucks to be him!

Mary Worth, 11/15/16

Welp, unlike Iris, Dawn definitely does not give a shit that Wilbur is leaving town for a year. “Sounds great! I’m loving life! This just gives me more opportunities to lounge around the house in my pinstriped pajamas and eat cookies! Hey, more cookies for me while you’re gone, you know? [cookie-eating noises]”

Shoe, 11/15/16

Do you think the bird-men of Shoe view festooning oneself with simulated mammalian hair — and leaving oneself open to the parasites specific to it — with particular disgust? That might explain why the Perfesser has blown right past the usual Goggle Eyes Of Horror straight into the Manic Grin Of Desperately Trying To Make A Joke Of This.

Post Content

Six Chix, 11/12/16

FUN FACT: did you know that the Andrew Lloyd Weber Phantom of the Opera has made more money over the years than any other work of entertainment in the history of the human race? I learned this on the musical’s Wikipedia page, where I also learned that the 30th anniversary of its premiere performance in London wasn’t today but actually about five weeks ago, which is suspiciously close to the lead time for getting a newspaper comic published. The lesson is that you’ll never go broke overestimating humanity’s appetite for schmaltz (as someone who had to play multiple Andrew Lloyd Weber medleys in high school band, I feel I earned the right to make this artistic assessment), and that if you really care about memorializing something, maybe plan it in advance?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/12/16

Look, I get it, BG&SS creative team, making a joke about Miss Prunelly and Uriah fucking is just too tempting. And it’s also obviously tempting to run it more than once, since what’s the point of having years of archives and an audience that reads three days a week on average and retains very little if not to cut corners once in a while? But it does seem weird to use the same joke twice in two years but redraw the art. Like, the art is the hard part? At least now Uriah has given up his sex-shame and wears his lover’s Goth Kiss with a smile.

Mary Worth, 11/12/16

Oh, also, Wilbur’s basically spent this entire week getting dumped? I always thought I’d feel something in this situation. A little more joy, I dunno. What’s wrong with me that I can’t take delight in Wilbur’s pain?

Mark Trail, 11/12/16

NNNggghgh, maybe it’s because my system’s too oversaturated with all the literal fiery death in Mark Trail! The chopper explosions might be over, but at least we have chunks of volcanic debris falling from the sky. Just hook it up to my veins!!!!!