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Six Chix, 1/24/12

I’m totally in love with this drunken lump’s extreme level of dishevelment! I especially like the incredibly awkward position he’s passed out in, and the fact that he’s still clutching his precious, precious tallboy, even in unconsciousness. Also, that slice of pizza, just sitting on the couch with no plate or anything and almost certainly permanently grease-staining the cushion, is charming to me in its disgustingness.

But still, ladies! Do not fear that any man you meet on the Internet will be gross! My wife found me online, and I have rarely left any kind of mark on the upholstery in her house in the eight years or so since I moved into it.

Mary Worth, 1/24/12

Well, if against all odds and good taste Mary’s victory lap is going to be extended for another week, I guess having Emily and her family do the worshipping is marginally OK, considering. “It’s good to see you too Ms. Worth! We are so very grateful! And we thought to ourselves, what gift could possibly be adequate to show our gratitude to the God-woman who rescued our daughter? So we now present you the dismembered torso of Emily’s kidnapper, wrapped in a plastic bag for your convenience. A blood sacrifice for you, O divine being!”

Archie, 1/24/12

If you need proof that the current run of Archie strips are repeats from a pre-Internet era, consider this: can you imagine any news event so horrible that would reduce a seasoned TV anchor, cynical to the core and used to smiling his way through whatever words the teleprompter spit out at him, to tears, that you wouldn’t learn about until the six o’clock news? Anything worth ol’ Dan Brenon’s anxiety here — nuclear holocaust, one or more coastal states falling into the sea, a mass outbreak of zombie plague, what have you — would surely have been chatted up on Twitter or something hours ago.

Spider-Man, 1/24/12

Having realized that he’s far too incompetent to defeat or even find Thor, Spidey has decided to seek help from the Avengers, just in time to be four months ahead of the Avengers movie! Anyway, they’ll probably rescue MJ for him, but they’re gonna smack him around a bit first, just for fun.

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Gil Thorp, 1/21/12

Ha ha, the one even remotely sinister/badass thing happening down at Milford Ink — underage kids getting tattoos without parental consent — isn’t even happening, apparently! But don’t worry, we’ve at last got to the dramatic meat of this basketball season storyline: arguments about tattoos are going to tear the Mudlarks apart, just like tattoos are tearing apart the very fabric of our nation. If these nice young men with flat-top haircuts can’t keep their cool when conversation turns to body art, then what hope is there for any of us? Ban tattoos forever, I say!

Mary Worth, 1/21/12

Oh, no, Mary isn’t happy just being a hero anymore; after all, heroes are mortal. Mary Worth works miracles. Let’s thank God, and Mary, who is the Prophet of God! ALL HAIL MARY!

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Hi all, happy Friday, and happy comments of the week! Before we get to the week’s top comments, check out the Worthy Awards, in which that fantabulous Mary Worth and Me blog picks the greatest panels and plots of 2011. Will your favorites come out on top? It’s like the Oscars, but not as subtle.

And now, your comment of the week!

“Who in the hell is the plugger lady talking to? I know the animals are anthropomorphic, but is the furniture also? I don’t even want to consider that the can of whipped cream is sentient and splooging away from all the sexy, sexy shaking.” –Mumblix Grumph

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Momma’s books are all where they belong: too high for her to reach them. Because seriously, fuck reading.” –Doctor Handsome

“It took me a moment to realize that the MW panel took place on a boat. I thought Mary’s hero status had entitled her to a car twice as wide as a school bus.” –AndyL

“Haha, Mary and Jeff look like escaped drug kingpins from Miami Vice.” –Calico

“First off, in Hootin’ Holler, a ‘yard with junk’ in it is more succinctly known as a ‘yard.'” –Anonymous

“Let’s see … It’s dark outside the windows, Rex and his woman are in their PJs, and the woman in green is … shopping for a coffin?? Good god, she’s gone to one of those sleazy 24-hour coffin shops! Why did you even bother to get out of the car, lady? You might as well have used the drive-through.” –Oregonian

“How did I get in the will? Hurry up and tell me, so I can get back to my idle rich pursuits, such as self-taught karate with my wife. Come on, hurry, we have our outfits on and everything.” –Chareth Cutestory

“That ‘PSSSSS…’ coming out of the can seriously worries me. I imagine the ‘whipped topping’ was all squeezed out hours ago and now our poor chicken-lady is deluding herself by trying her get out every last particle out of the can before giving up and deciding to turn to a less degrading habit, like using heroin.” –Irrischano

“Not only is Lu Ann already calling the people who raised her by their first names, but she’s still calling Ruby ‘Ruby’ instead of ‘Mom.’ Lu Ann is so damaged she can never trust anyone again! Either that or the new information that she’s adopted took up the space in her brain that used to hold ‘things to call your parents that are not their actual first names.'” –Windier E. Megatons

“I’m actually kind of amused by the concept that this mollusk has evolved modern-day defense mechanisms against humans. Instead of spines or poison, it’s going for ‘fake laws.'” –Carly

“I will, however, remark that what appears to be a coffee mug in panel 1 has transformed into a one-time-use plastic cup in panel 2, and Chip is reading first On The Rope and then On The Rood. I’m glad that small inconsistencies in the artwork are still present — they give the comics a desperate, human touch.” –Notebooked

“Today I’m wishing Ziggy was a three-panel strip, if only because watching him get his ass kicked by a seashell would be incredibly cathartic.” –Snuggs

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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