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Panels from Dennis the Menace, 1/30/11

In one of his most menacing acts in recent memory, Dennis taunts a snowman about its imminent demise.

Panel from Apartment 3-G, 1/30/11

Sunday’s A3G pretty much just rehashes the past week’s action, but I like this panel because it illustrates that Lu Ann has finally found someone to date who’s dumber than she is. “Now I’m not so sure. What do you think, Lu Ann? My thinks aren’t coming out of my think-place, for some reason. Maybe if I tap at it with my thumb? Come out, thinks! Come out!”

Panel from Beetle Bailey, 1/30/11

Is that … is that supposed to be a fax machine? Have the artists behind Beetle Bailey ever seen a fax machine, or any other object that occupies real physical space?

Panel from Dick Tracy, 1/30/11

The Crimestoppers Textbook makes it seem that not giving out your personal information is just a simple matter of, you know, not giving out your personal information, but the look of total devastation on this poor sap’s face tells a different story. “Oh no, they asked for my Social Security number! I guess I have no choice but to give it to them. Soon my credit rating will be destroyed! Curse you, clever identity thieves!”

Narration box from Mary Worth, 1/30/11

If you ever find it impossible to adequately describe the heart-pounding roller coaster ride that is Mary Worth, just refer to this narration box, which pretty much encapsulates this week’s thrills in a neat package.

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Panel from Mary Worth, 1/28/11

Are you feeling anxious? Fearful of the future? Do you lack confidence? Just print out multiple copies of this Mary Worth panel and tape them up pretty much everywhere. “I’m not afraid!” says Mary, as she looks directly at you, through your eyes and into your soul. Either her iron-willed confidence will be transferred to you, or you’ll descend quickly into gibbering madness.

Pluggers, 1/28/11

Pluggers scoff at education, and commerce, and leaving the house, and interacting with fellow humans who aren’t on the teevee-box.

Family Circus, 1/28/11

“The other trees are whores. Stupid naked whores.”

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Mark Trail, 1/27/11

A couple of days ago a faithful reader left this comment on the blog:

Excuse me, but where the fuck is Mark Trail? Or has this site gone completely to hell?

I always feel strongly that foul-mouthed belligerence should get its way, so here you go! Honestly, I haven’t found the endless discussion of Ben Smith’s oversized lures (all the better to please a woman smuggle diamonds inside) particularly compelling, but I am enjoying today’s strip, in which Kelly natters on without waiting for Mark to respond. And that’s just as well, as I’m assuming that he long ago tuned her out. If we could see inside his mind, there would just be an adorable squirrel running back and forth on a tree branch, chittering amiably.

Apartment 3-G, 1/27/11

Speaking of tuning people out, this date has apparently gotten so dull that even Lu Ann has stopped paying attention to it. “Wait, you did what now? Spent money … on a thing … look, are we going to make out or what?”

Mary Worth, 1/27/11

Meanwhile, Mary Worth has hit a new crescendo of edge-of-your-seat tension, as Dr. Jeff seems insistent on forcing Mary to start using a Kindle-thing by any means necessary. Why is Mary resisting the 21st century so strongly? Does she fear that she might accidentally subscribe to this very blog, read about her adventures, and implode into paradoxical nothingness when she realizes she is fictional, and ridiculous?

Pluggers, 1/27/11

Surprisingly few Comics Curmudgeon readers have broken the Pluggers code — perhaps we all have too much dignity? — but based on the name I have a sneaking suspicion that “Kanomi Kelrast” is one of us. And if enjoying the occasional microwavable processed food treat makes us all pluggers, well, then so be it.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/27/11

Never doubt the ability of even the corniest strip to occasionally break your heart. The fact that Bearded Husband Whose Name I Forget calls his wife “Sugar Bun” in panel one just makes the strip’s comical misunderstanding all the more poignant.

Crock, 1/27/11

Wow, I never realized until today how few installments of Crock involve the title character’s romantic life.