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Crock, 12/16/23

The infancy story in the Gospel of Matthew is the one that mentions the Magi, and while it specifies three different gifts they brought to the baby Jesus (gold, frankincense, and myrrh), it doesn’t actually say how many people brought that stuff, and while there are three kings included in most nativity scenes, there’s nothing canonical about that number. So, who’s the smart guy now, eh, Seymour?

Family Circus, 12/16/23

Jeffy, what are you wearing? Did you come to be dumb and belligerent at this mall Santa right after doing a standup set at Caroline’s in 1988?

Hi and Lois, 12/16/23

I gotta say that I really appreciate the facial expressions and body language on Dot and Ditto here. They’re devastated! Christmas is ruined!

Mary Worth, 12/16/23

Sonia and Brad love nothing more than fighting the system, a system that includes cattle ranching and taking your hat off indoors. Keith, on other hand, loves the system, and would never violate any aspect of it, especially America’s precious trademark laws, which keep our beloved franchised fast-food restaurants safe from repetitional harm.

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Beetle Bailey, 12/12/23

One of the whole points of Beetle Bailey is that the title character is lazy. Or, I guess if we’re being more charitable, despite the fact that he’s enlisted in the notoriously hierarchical U.S. Army, we could say he simply refuses to do things that he doesn’t feel like doing, even if he’s ordered to do so — that he’s “somebody who’s caught in the system that they have to resist in order to exist,” in one of Mort Walker’s more poetic descriptions of his most famous creation. This is all well and good and honestly entertaining when Beetle is refusing to peel potatoes or mop the floor or whatever make-work tasks Camp Swampy has on offer; but today’s strip, which features an terribly injured man trapped in a burning car, his dog howling out in desperate hope that someone can help his master before he dies in one of the most horrifying ways imaginable, makes Beetle’s bit of doing a real half-assed job at everything, including providing or calling for assistance in an emergency, somewhat less comical.

Mary Worth, 12/12/23

Who’s the worst possible person to try to introduce to the idea of a polycule, and what’s the worst possible way to do it? I’m tentatively going to go with “Keith” and “like this.”

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Pluggers, 12/9/23

Sure, “pluggers lead incredibly boring lives and can’t think of anything even vaguely interesting to put into a letter” is a pretty funny bit. But when you think about the fact that Pluggers is a comic composed entirely of anecdotes derived from letters sent in by pluggers, and what we see are the most interesting out of them — well, let’s just say there are a lot of layers to this one.

Mary Worth, 12/9/23

Oh, ha ha, the ‘roided out ex-cop isn’t even in a relationship yet and he’s already seething with suspicion and jealousy? This can only go good places!

Hi and Lois, 12/9/23

The thing I like most here is the detail that Irma has rented this leaf blower. Like, she could’ve bought one as a permanent addition to the family toolset; maybe its ease of use would get Thirsty to take care of the yard more often! But actually cleaning up the leaves has long taken a back seat to revenge in this particular ongoing marital dispute, and she only needs the leaf blower for an afternoon for that.

Dennis the Menace, 12/9/23

Oh no, Dennis the Menace did a sort of accurate generation gap comic! I take no pleasure in reporting this.