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Slylock Fox, 2/17/23

From years of reading Slylock Fox together, we’ve come to understand that the world it depicts is one where the animals rose up against humans, exterminated most of them, and then went on to recreate human society the best they could, living in our cities, establishing political, legal, and economic structures that mimic our own, and so on. There’s been less attention spent on the animals’ cultural production, but here too we must assume that they’re following a human template, publishing animal-themed comics in animal-focused newspapers with punchlines that make animals laugh and make the few remaining humans go “Huh. Huh. Huh?”

Family Circus, 2/17/23

Look, Keane parents, you’ve lived with these children for several years now, and the fact that you’ve chosen to decorate your house with an endless expanse of pure white wall-to-wall carpet without regard for the very obvious consequences is entirely on you.

Mary Worth, 2/17/23

TIRED: Estelle keeps running into her ex, Wilbur, who she finds annoying
WIRED: Estelle, having succumbed to Wilburmadness, hallucinates her ex wherever she goes

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Mary Worth, 2/16/23

Look, I’m not going to say I’m done with Wilbur, like Estelle and Iris justifiably are, but I am a little sick of his shit, and feel like Mary Worth readers could use a rest from him for a while. That said, I do think today’s strip is a kind of fun meta-commentary, like “Oh, did you you think you had finally achieved inner peace, NOPE, SORRY WILBUR”

Hagar the Horrible, 2/16/23

We all remember the Ice Bucket Challenge … now get ready for the Ice Bucket Fetish!

Judge Parker, 2/16/23

So wait, you’re telling me that Cavelton had an oxy ring run by drug dealers, and another one run by the cops, and another one run by a judge? Sure explains why everyone has been so loopy around here.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith and Blondie, 2/14/23

One strip you could write off, but two? That’s a trend. Folks, if you didn’t get your beloved a slab of heart-shaped meat for Valentine’s Day this year, you need to think about what you did wrong and get ahead of the game in planning a meat-tastic 2/14/24. (Note: please only use a cut of meat shaped like a cartoon heart, not an actual animal or human heart, as that would be disgusting.)

Gil Thorp, 2/14/23

Speaking of romance, we last saw the Thorps holding onto their marriage for dear life despite obstacles like Mimi’s flirtatious golf coach. This Valentine’s Day, they’re going to revive their relationship the only way they know how: by trying to have sex as airliners come screaming in for a landing directly above them every four to nine minutes.

Beetle Bailey, 2/14/23

Ha ha, yes, it’s funny that Otto doesn’t want to smell Beetle’s socks, but I do want to point that there are generally only two circumstances where we have dogs try to figure out where people are, and those are “on the run from the law” and “probably dead.”

Mary Worth, 2/14/23

“I’m shopping! Just like you! Yep, exchanging money for goods and services sure is the name of the game, here in America!”