Archive: Mary Worth

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/31/23

I suppose this little kid already knows about the car accident, but it would be extremely funny if this were June trying to deliver bad news gently. “Is my mom okay?” “Don’t worry, Tommy. There have been huge advances in mortuary science lately, and she’ll still be able to have an open casket funeral.”

Gil Thorp, 1/31/23

Only selling vapes to kids old enough to buy them? Generating income from legitimate jobs? This vape fundraising is the most licit illicit money-making scheme this strip has seen since the days of the tattoo parlor that hooked kids with illegal DVDs that were actually legal!

Mary Worth, 1/31/23

The only thing funnier than telling a date that you and your ex broke it off because he did something that “shook [you] to your core” and offering no further explanation is a comic strip illustrating this incident by showing you and your friends weeping openly, also with no further explanation.

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Dick Tracy, 1/28/23

I don’t know why, but I find Art Dekko’s statement that, while he’s hiding from possible spear gun murder, he’ll “have food delivered and such” very funny. He just wants you to know that he’s thought this thing through, OK? And honestly Sue Reel’s reaction is even funnier. Sue, thanks to the new wave of food delivery apps, you can enjoy delicious entrees from just about any restaurant in Neo-Chicago at home, or, in this case, in your storeroom! You may be a character created in 1980 whose name is a pun on “surreal” and who has a mustache in tribute to surrealist artist Salvador Dali, but surely you know that delivery isn’t just for pizza anymore?

Beetle Bailey, 1/28/23

Wow, it seems like the folks over at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC have finally gotten wind of “Drynuary,” a concept that’s at least seventeen years old! Saturday strips are often about how the Halftrack marriage is a hellish prison, but I like that today’s is about the two of them teaming up to defeat the only thing they loathe more than each other: sobriety.

Mary Worth, 1/28/23

Ah, it looks like Estelle and Ed have gotten to the part of the evening where they just say the names of their dishes to one another. That’s good, right? I’ve been out of the dating scene for a while now.

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Mary Worth, 1/26/23

“They get along with each other and with everyone! Well, I guess Libby doesn’t get along with Wilbur, because she deliberately pissed on his side of the couch. And Pierre doesn’t get along with Wilbur, like he’s only my dog because he literally refused to live with Wilbur any longer. We’re not counting Wilbur as part of ‘everyone’ for this conversation, right? That’s reasonable enough? I mean, you’ve met him.”

Crock, 1/26/23

A joke? In the syndicated newspaper comic strip Crock? I find this highly unlikely.