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And it’s another fine evening for a comment of the week … but first, we have an exciting meetup report from our neighbors to the north, in Toronto! From left to right, that’s faithful readers Mooncattie, Skullturf Q. Beavispants, Niall, and Angry Kem.

Niall has the report:

On a day where summer decided to come back just for us, including Lake Effect Humidity, I managed to get a few of the Toronto mudges (but not, eponymically, Toronto himself) to gather for a few (soft) drinks as I made my way back to the airport to Ottawa. I had some food for myself, and in honour of True Fable, decided on the Goat Cheese Burger, just to start the meet on the right Mudgeon tone. Skullturf Q. Beavispants was the first to arrive, and Mooncattie a few minutes later. It was easy to spot them as I had seen their photos from previous meetups. A little later, Angry Kem poked her head in, and something in her air (and hair) made me sure it was her so I waved her over.

I had originally planned to spend one hour then make my way to shopping and the airport downtown, but we spent a very happy two full hours discussing various topics, aided by Mooncattie’s printouts of a few Sunday strips as visual aids. The Usual Suspects were discussed, from the vacuousness of the soaps to the non-funniness of too many humour strips, to the interesting rise in adult humour capability of Slylock Fox (and Mr. Weber Jr’s ineffably good graces). Skullturf was not clear why True Fable was calling Hi and Lois “Scenes from Suburban Hell”, so I shared my own thoughts on how depressing every single strip ends up being, even if something nice happens – including Thirsty’s falling off the wagon the day before. He finally got it. Foob was discussed briefly, and we felt that as Canadians we probably would always apologise for it to Americans; I pointed out that as a native Québecker, if I could be proud despite having foisted Céline Dion on the world, we could still be proud despite Foob.

We tried to have meaningful, deep topics such as “If you could only read 3 strips, which would they be, and why?” and “What made you start reading and posting on the Comics Curmudgeon?”, but I fear that my rapid patter, manic gestures, and bad habit of going on deep tangents derailed most of the these intelligent discussions; so I’d like to apologise to the group. We did manage to educate Angry Kem on a few Mudgeon in-jokes dating from a while ago; then Kem and I managed to completely confuse the other two by making only allusions to plot points of her webcomic without saying anything concrete. (Though I gather now they’re really curious what the heck we were talking about and will go see. :)) I tried to make up for some of my ramblings by sharing the rest of the chocolates and fruit pastes I had brought to share with my other friends that weekend; I think any offense is now fully pardoned. Mooncattie was kind enough to drive me to the airport, while we shared more tales of going to meetups that aren’t in our city, and how much fun that can be. I certainly knew very well! As I pass in Toronto regularly, we might try that again…

Remember, Comics Curmudgeon readers are everywhere! And they are fun people to hang out with, so you should plan your own meetup today!

A couple more notes before we get to the top comments; as many of you pointed out, David Willis’ inimitable Shortpacked! comic riffed on Mary Worth today. David is of course a faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader; if you hadn’t been tipped off by his FBOFW and Funky Winkerbean parodies, there’s the fact that he designed the Finger-Quotin’ Margo shirt.

And finally, making good on earlier pledge to acknowledge your comic when it mentions me by name, I give you yesterday’s Frog Applause. I prefer Fritos to Funyuns myself.

Oh, and did somebody say COMMENT OF THE WEEK?

“Perhaps Irving is able to shut out reality to the point that, when he and Cathy do the deed (in the dark, missionary-only, with the phone unplugged and in the next room in case Mom calls), he thinks he’s doing it with someone with a little self-esteem. And breasts. And a nose.” –Paul1963

Also, did somebody, maybe the same person, maybe not, say runners up?

“I suspect that Cabin Boy Rex will in fact get a chance to play doctor on the high seas, when late at night Lenore knocks on his door in a cold sweat, reporting her symptoms: ‘I’ve got a fever, and the only cure is — more patootie!'” –Seismic-2

“The very title of this post made me shudder like Toby’s vibrator probably hasn’t for years because she’s too scared and confused to buy batteries for it.” –Lolsworth

“Does Dennis’s dad actually change into PJs but keep that frickin’ watch on? Or did he don it specifically so he could point at it and glare? There’s a lot of passive aggression in that household.” –Donald The Anarchist

“Yes, Toby, at home. Where we live. In Canada. Remember when we moved our apartment to Canada? It happened, Toby. It really happened. Mwahahaha! …Did I laugh out loud? Sorry. Someone here told a joke. That’s it. Yes, dear, yes. Just a joke. Um … ‘eh’.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“You don’t suppose that the beard itself is actually an intelligent professor and the fat, jolly guy that the beard is attached to is simply a host? The speech balloon seems to point directly at the beard. The host body seems lifeless and detached from reality. It would make sense that Toby is attracted to it.” –Anonymous

“If an old, bearded, man named Crazy comes to my house with pizza sauce and cheese drooling down the front of his tattered blue windbreaker, forgive me for not answering the door.” –Beatrice

“I’m just now starting to realize that Mark Trail is essentially a superhero strip built around a guy whose super powers include punching people, having a neat haircut, and owning collared shirts. ‘Wildlife dying? Area drained of water? Caucasian children upset? This looks like a job for … Marktrailman!'” –Joe Blevins

“It is like the Herb and Jamaal of infidelity. ‘Did you see that item of inappropriate womanwear?'” –Emily

“God how I wish Alan was a secret cross-dresser. But of course this is Apartment 3-G, where even a desperate drug addiction is quaint and wholesome, so he’d probably just be wearing paisley maxiskirts and earth-toned caftans and or something. Maybe a blouse that skimmed the collarbone, if he was feeling really risque.” –Sensitive Poet

“Wait, is Mark Trail going to punch global warming? I think I just came.” –Sobek

“I love the way Toby goes from self-flagellating despair in panel one to blissed-out zombiefication in panel two. In fairness, though, Mary’s little speech is both riveting and inspirational.” –Violet

“Is the Mary Worth plot really about identity theft? Because I’m beginning to think it is really about VD.” –Aging Hipster

“Mary may have her faults, but who else could hold onto a full, steaming-hot mug of coffee and simultaneously jab her finger accusingly without spilling a drop?” –BigTed

“I know it’s a vain hope, but I really want to see this end up with Funky tied up in the trunk of a car.” –migellito

I’m pretty sure that nobody said “tip jar,” but hey, big thanks for those who put some cash in it! And we must say “thank you” to our advertisers:

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I’m sure you are all more than used to the shameless self-promotion on COTW night, but this is even more shameless than usual! And yet I think you will be pleased to hear it. Because today (well, Friday evening, but I missed it because I went away for the weekend) you can at long last purchase the Spider-Man 2 Rifftrax to which I contributed! It is a mere $2.99, features my voice and jokes, along with the voices and jokes of MST3K alums Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy, and is very funny. What more do you need, another look at the fine poster art? Well, that’s done easily enough:

Now go forth and purchase, and enjoy!

(If you were away last week and are greeting this with a big fat “Huh?”, here’s the explanation.)

And speaking of promotion … you may have noticed that Gil Thorp’s huge, polyhedronical head was even larger and more terrifying than usual today:

That’s because the strip is 50 years old today! Now, since I’ve become a semi-famous blogger in the fairly small world of newspaper comics, I’ve started to receive all sorts of emails from publicists that basically boil down to “Sure, your blog is a for-profit enterprise that sells ad space, but don’t you want to help us advertise our products for free?” These almost always get deleted. And yet, when I got a Gil Thorp 50th anniversary email this morning, I did not consign it to the trash folder with the glee that I did the endless bubbling press releases I received about the Blondie 75th anniversary wank-a-thon. Do I not, after all, have a certain vested interest in the bizarre, anachronistic soap opera strips remaining solvent, against all odds?

So, here they are, fresh from Gil Thorp’s publicist to your eyes: a press release on Gil’s 50th, a somewhat hostile interview with Gil by Marty Moon on the milestone, and the really exciting one, information on the new Gil Thorp collection, Tales from the Bucket. There’s no Web site for the latter (note to Gil Thorp guys: for God’s sake, get a Web site, they’re practically free and everything) and it’s not available in stores, so to lay your hands on it, you’ll need to order it from Take Five Productions at take_five@comcast.net.

And now, with that shameless commercialism over, it’s time for the comment of the week.

“WARNING: Do not try the classic ‘got your nose’ trick with Toby. She will take it too seriously. ‘I can’t figure out how this happened! I’m not careless with my nose!'” –Joe Blevins

And the runners-up!

“Toby really needs to get to a mechanic to have herself checked out; she’s leaking robotic fluid from her cold, dead cybernetic eye.” –Joseph J. Finn

“Actually, that’s Susan Smith the childkiller. She’s been brought into the strip to give it a more uplifting tone.” –Comrade Denny

“I’m just glad Berna, as a healthworker of some vague disposition, takes health and safety seriously — if you’re going to go pinging on speed all day at work, be sure to wear a mouthguard.” –lesles

“That’s the scariest face I’ve ever seen Judy Dench make. ‘My thoughts exactly! I ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE THINKING.'” –Hasty Penguin

“I’ve been to college, and now, as an expert on What People Who Do Drugs Can Look Like, I declare Alan disqualified, unless the drug that he’s doing is a prescription for his allergy to modern hairstyles.” –elyse

“I’m glad to see from the double 0s in front of Crankshaft’s bus number that he has been granted a license to kill.” –Renna Warren

“Nothing calms down a mother mountain lion with two cubs to protect faster than the rumble of several tons of granite boulders. Works every time.” –LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL

“Haley is sure to make big money on the streets in her sexy, sexy Gap t-shirt.” –MsMolly

“I kind of covet Gloria’s outfit there — the retro tie-front blouse and formfitting sweater vest are very sexy secretary. I do not, however, covet Gloria’s botoxed forehead immobility, taupe lipstick, and blind faith in Sam’s skills as a detective.” –shegotzen

“The expression on Rex Morgan’s face after ‘I’m fond of your patootie’ doesn’t bother me so much as the angle the doctor assumes upon hearing it. He’s presenting like a baboon.” –Idols of Mud

“Rex Morgan, M.D.: MEANWHILE, OFF CAPE VERDE, A BUTTERFLY FLAPS ITS WINGS.” –minor flood

“Toby: ‘Oh noes! There was a charge on our card that got denied. We’ve been issued a new card and there is no extra charge or danger of any kind!’ Chinbeard: ‘Um … how did you get this number?'” –AmazingThor

“So Chinbeard is all jacked up over a speech on linguistics and pedagogy? Considering that he’s married to Toby, I guess his one true passion in life is being bored out of his skull.” –cheech wizard

And hey, big thanks go out to those who put a little cash in my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Hip & Handmade!: They specialize in cute! Shop ShanaLogic.com for handmade jewelry, hot apparel, gear for guys, unusual plushes, and more!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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Hey everybody, it’s the wee hours of Tuesday morning, so it’s COTW time! But first, as is becoming more and more common, it’s adorable merch picture time. Both of today’s pics come from the future Mrs. Spectacular Spider-Brick, who here is modeling the one of the fine t-shirts bearing the CLAM DOWN logo designed by her beau:

And her kitty loves the logo almost as much in its mousepad form!

Also! There are two comics blogs that I have been meaning to link to for about ever:

• Mary Worth, Style Mavin takes on the extremely important task of analyzing the fashion in our favorite meddling-biddy-themed soap strip. Not only does blogmistress Tina offer her opinions on the clothes worn by Mary, Toby, and the rest, but she actually creates real-life versions, as you can see here and here.
• Comics In My Pants proves rather conclusively that every comic strip can be improved by changing the punchline to some variation on the phrase “in my pants”.

And now, here’s this week’s not-in-my-pants top comment!

“Alan’s deep into drug addiction now. Shirt open at the collar, no undershirt seen, and it looks like his cuffs are unbuttoned. Next thing you know, he’ll stop wearing a belt, and maybe let his pants cuffs down an inch. This raw depravity gives me the vapors.” –Muffaroo M. Muffaroo

And the runners-up! So funny!

“Today’s FBOFW would look good on a Hallmark card that had been set on fire and flung into a sewer.” –Angry Kem

“To get pregnant, [Elizabeth] would have had to had contact with Anthony’s junk, which, henceforth, we shall refer to as ‘Little Anthony and the Imperials.'” –Old School Allie Cat

“I can’t wait for the inevitable three-year story arc when Toby and Chinbeard get to Scotland and she’s run over by an oncoming glacier. ‘That ice! It seems to be getting closer. Should I move?'” –Mr. Coffee Nerves

“Toby often uses her credit card to cut up lines of coke, but usually spends cash on her main purchases. Namely, coke.” –Rusty

“I love the confusion on Toby’s face when the bank asks her ‘Did you move to Canada?’ Clearly she doesn’t know. Perhaps she did. How can one tell? Where is Canada? Toby’s mind is on overdrive.” –Gabacho

“There’s something about that ellipsis and subsequent horrified triple exclamation mark in Margo’s speech bubble that suggests very strongly that if she, personally, happened to get any Lu Ann on her hands she would scrub them with a strong disinfectant.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“When our A3G narrator says the sunshine ‘restores Margo’s spirits,’ what he/she/it means is that, of course, liquor stores are usually only open during daylight hours.” –Nate

“Today’s installment of Luann maintains such a precise balance of ‘huh?’ and ‘eww!’ that it’s almost a thing of beauty, except for being dreadful beyond human expression.” –Violet

“Was Dennis menacing? If he whipped it out on the diving board and started doing an ‘out of control firehose’ on the people below, I have to give him a bit of credit — perhaps even a standing ovation for something finally ‘menacing’ after all these years of milquetoasty bits of annoyance. However, I’m betting that he probably simply stood up on the high board, shaking with fear and a miserable look on his face, with a stream of urine running down his leg as some bigger kids lined up on the ladder behind him kept taunting him to jump.” –Frank Parsnip

“I also like that pluggers buy magazines to look at the pictures, thereby subtly, hilariously subverting one of the oldest jokes about illiteracy. Books can’t be found within fifteen miles of this conversation.” –ChargeMan

“I think the duck looks a little irritated with Slylock. Maybe he suspects the way the thief gets across the water is because the thief is a duck. ‘It’s like he doesn’t even see that I’m here,’ he’s thinking. ‘Howabout the next thief steals chickens from a henhouse — how would he like that?'” –Shmork

“Take the wheel, Jeff, I need to gesticulate.” –Red Greenback

“A3G has such nice, polite, well-groomed dope fiends. I can only assume their drug of choice is Flintstones chewables.” –Joe Blevins

Also worthy of honorable mention (though far too long to reproduce here in its entirety) is faithful reader Gold-Digging Nanny’s meticulous reconstruction of the last few months of Apartment 3-G storylines, with damning analysis of how they have almost universally failed to live up to their potential.

Speaking of honor, those who put cash in my tip jar are particularly honorable! And so too are our advertisers:

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