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Comment of the week in a moment, but first, a major announcement. Today, July 28, 2008, will go down in history as The Day Ces Marciuliano Finally Got Off His Ass And Relaunched Medium Large! Yes, the beloved Webcomic is back on its own site, with (we hope) regular updates, as well as separate pages for beloved characters such as Teenage Girl President, TODD and Son, and Victorian Era Superhero!

I first made Ces’s Internet acquaintance when someone forwarded me a particularly trenchant Medium Large that featured one of the B.C. cast of characters saying the word “fucking.” I quickly went from “Ha ha, this is a hilarious spoof of B.C.!” to “Holy crap, the guy who writes Sally Forth made a hilarious spoof of B.C.!” I wish a long life to the strip’s new incarnation.

And now, without further ado: COTW, y’all!

“Maybe the names ‘Ass Cabin,’ ‘Tushy Trawler’ and ‘Drunken Derilick’s Dinghy’ were already taken.” –PeteMoss, on how the Bum Boat got its name

And runners-up:

“Does Dagwood realize that the tub is so full that if he got in it would overflow? Doesn’t Dithers knock before he enters a bathroom? Apparently the Archimedes Principle has taken a vacation with the laws of common decency.” –Hogenmogen

“Today’s strip looks like a clip art image of Mary was pasted against Jeff’s shoulder at a weird angle. This is more horrifying that it sounds, since it implies that Mary Worth clip art may actually exist somewhere.” –AhClem

“I really like how Mary Worth glared at us today while dispensing her timeless nuggets of wisdom, by which I mean I developed an eating disorder after Mary Worth glared at us today while dispensing her timeless nuggets of wisdom.” –Gerund

“I just feel bad for the folks that might be searching for this blog now thinking ‘Rex Morgan fans? I love that strip too!’ And by ‘feel bad’ I mean I wish I could see their faces as they read the entries. ’Specially the genitalia one.” –shnazzer

“I think Jeff and Mary have, consciously or not, begun a platitude-to-the-death competition. Who will win? Or are there ever winners in such a God-forsaken battle of bon mots?” –bats :[

“As with the Tin Man, Mary’s joints need a serious oiling, unlike Jeff’s hair.” –Calico

“While ol’ Mare and Jeff continue their flowery turdering upon the English language in an effort to express feelings that they can neither understand nor appreciate, it’s important to seek out one glimmer of substance as reassurance that the precious seconds required to read each day’s strip were not spent in vain. For me, today’s salvation is the hope that we are not looking at a neon sign above the restaurant entrance, but rather are listening to an employee whose job it is, from opening time to the moment the last fish-shaped lamp is switched off, to announce the eatery by screaming as loudly as possible ‘BUM BOAT!!! BUM BOAT!!! BUM BOAT!!!’” –Mooncattie

“I think Mary is talking in code about hermaphrodites. She’s so cool. And fucking weird.” –Mr. Barkie

“I was about to remark on the ooky ‘tender bud’ stuff when I was distracted by the extreme hideousness of Mary’s shirt. Then I was about to say something about how Mary’s taste in clothes is second in ookiness only to her taste in metaphors when I realized I once dated a 29-year-old man who wore exactly the same outfit Jeff is wearing, and he liked seafood too. Now I’m going to go drown myself in gin.” –Echo

“If Margo was a FOOB she’d be thought-ballooning ‘A ring! The token that says “I’m going to rip his head off and ram my ovipositor down his throat”!'” –GotFuzzy

“I think it’s kind of sweet how Les uses memories of his dead wife as a sexual lubricant with his best friend’s ex. Love, exciting and new!” –Tom the Pirate

“Young, old, pretty, ugly, fat, thin, rich, poor — I think sex is fun and natural and doesn’t belong exclusively to any demographic. But given a choice, I’d rather hear Margo Magee talk about it than Mary Worth. Mostly because I think Margo probably has angry, angry sex, and says things with finger quotes. ‘Yes’! That’s ‘it’!” –Old School Allie Cat

“The Family Circus has made millions and is beloved by millions, and the Keanes did this by consistently steering clear of so-called ‘jokes.’ You think they’re going to start using them now?” –Mac

“Family Circus: I wish Angela Lansbury would stop checking the recipe and just bake those kids into pies, already.” –RaJ

“Today’s Momma has convinced me that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who hormonally free-associate and see sex in an innocent four panels of man passionately kissing his mother, and those incapable of doing so. Right now, I wish I were in the latter group. A lot.” –Vakar

“Who wouldn’t be excited about going to South Dakota? In the Apartment 3-G universe, that’s where they rounded up the minorities and put them in camps.” –Master Mahan

“I’m looking forward to Lu Ann on the ranch. Sitting on her Shetland pony, official Dale Evans cowgirl hat with the string fixed tightly under her chin, a shiny new South Dakota commemorative quarter in her hand, she searches for the slot to put it in to make the pony go, while the lonesome wind whistles through the vast empty landscape between her ears.” –gh

“Am I the only one starting to really envy Mary’s lifestyle? Here we all are, toiling away at jobs like chumps, while she spends her Monday relaxing over a delicious plate of mustard at a restaurant so fancy each table gets its own fez, while Toby helpfully explains to her what medicine is.” –Violet

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Post Content

OK, it’s incredibly, exhaustively long, so I’ve put in on a separate page. And for everyone who’s sick of hearing about it, I promise this is it, Jeopardy-wise. Enjoy!

Post Content

Comment of the week coming soon, but first I must post this bit of amazing comics detective work from faithful reader Patrick of the Interlibrary Loan Division:

I’m an artist with a day job at a public library. One day I was repairing a microfilm reader printer and was making test copies using a September 1952 Lexington (KY) Herald. Because I read CC, I gravitated towards the comics and lo and behold, there is the very same Mr. Dithers looking for Dagwood in the bathroom and finding him hanging out the window with the towel draped the same way as in the colour 2008 version snarked on at CC.

There is a part of me that sort of likes Blondie as a legacy strip but at the same time, the 1952 and 2008 strips are exactly what’s wrong with the state of comics today. In any case, I thought you might find the strip useful for comparison’s sake.

I offer the two strips together here for you to take a look at. The more artistically skilled than I can figure out how much of the actual art has been copied along with the joke.

Note that the more expansive comics format in days of yore allowed for an extra panel, in which Mr. Dithers angrily brandishes Dagwood’s pants, and which to my mind is the funniest bit in the whole strip. One is also left to wonder what difference in nuance separates 1952’s “SO?” from 2008’s “SO!!!” The whole thing does really lead me to wonder how often legacy strips with huge archives simply recycle gags wholesale every decade or so.

Also! Do not forget that I am going to be on Jeopardy! tomorrow (July 22)! The show is syndicated, so (God, it’s fun saying this) check your local listings. (UPDATE: Apparently in some markets Jeopardy is broadcast twice in one day — but one of the shows is a repeat. Be sure you’re watching the right one!) I’ll be the dork who looks like this:

On this point, a humble request. Are there any techno-studs or -studettes out there who have a digital video recording setup situation that will allow you to easily (and I must emphasize easily — I don’t want anyone putting themselves out on this score) record the show and put it in a format that I can save digitally forever (DVD, MPEG, whatever)? Please email me if so! (UPDATE: I have got a flood of responses on this point, so no need for further e-mailin’. Thanks to all!)

And finally, what you’ve all been waiting for: the comment of the week!

“That old moose could kill Roger! Mom jeans, don’t fail me now!” –Duckman30

And runners-up!

“Today’s Crankshaft reprises Tom Batiuk’s tried-and-true Last Sex Ever Ever formula. Soon Pam will die. These strips are like slasher films, only without the hot teenagers.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Man, any time Cathy does anything, she throws her arm back like she’s in the damn Torch Song Trilogy. I wish I could get that down, as it adds much needed flair. But I’d just fuck up my rotator cuff, probably.” –Jetsam

“I’m not very comfortable with the door Pluggers is opening with the introduction of the ‘You’re a plugger if your (blank) doubles as a/n (blank)’ motif. Sure, it’ll be harmless enough for a while; just a little ‘spatula’ and ‘fly-swatter’ here and a bit of ‘trash can’ and ‘fireplace’ there, but I think we all know where this is leading.” –Violet

“Incidentally, if I were given a vote, I’d vote Sally get a new hairstyle before a new kid.” –Farley’s Revenge

“Perhaps, Eric, thinking the connection is lousy, is shouting into the phone but, in reality, his voice is coming through quite fine. So Margo has to hold the phone that far away in order to not damage her hearing, which, as a predator animal, is exquisitely sensitive.” –DAS

“Sigh … I remember the day that my husband screamed his proposal to me over a cell phone.” –Rachel211

“Margo’s not vibrating because of the shouted proposal, she’s just now realizing that she is dressed exactly like Brady Bunch housekeeper Alice. Will Eric be her Sam the Butcher? Only time will tell. (For those of you who are impatient, the answer is no.)” –Pantsless Irving

“I’m not sure what kind of face I’d make if someone screeched a proposal at me over the phone, but I’m fairly certain it wouldn’t be the face of deep, soul-crushing ennui. ‘Honeymoon, shmoneymoon … life is a meaningless game, Eric.'” –Al Ewing

“So, what is that ‘animal’ in MT anyway? Today it sort of looks like a bucking bronco in panel one but then it morphs back to a moose in panel three. A moose? A horse? A moorse?” –Flying Ace

“All the name-dropping suggests to me that Ray Billingsley is not really following an anti-Pixar stance, but is indulging in his love for the quotation mark.” –Lake Eerie

“That panel from Mary Worth reminds me of the ‘good citizenship’ posters they used to plaster all over my junior high and which made me resolve to turn into a dope-smoking fiend as soon as I could find some friends with weed.” –cheech wizard

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