Post Content

Hi and Lois, 11/8/17

One of the true underrated tormented souls in the comics is Trixie, who has a fully adult mind but has been trapped for more than half a century in an infant’s body, unable even to vocalize her thoughts and communicate with others. So it shouldn’t be surprising that she’s had decades to contemplate the nature of her tiny, awful flesh-prison and go down some very dark paths. What if a person had two mouths? What if they had no mouths? What if mouths weren’t a right, but a privilege granted based on good behavior? We would recognize the vile as they walked the earth with a smooth, unbroken face, and the virtuous for their multiplicity of mouths, all yawning and babbling independently of one another.

Mark Trail, 11/8/17

Hey, kids, were you looking forward to Sideburns Sherriff pumping hot lead into the bald bank robber? Well, too bad, his precious gun glitched! I guess this shows the benefits of using normal, modern firearms of the sort typically issued to law enforcement officers rather than theatrically old-timey rifles. Anyhoo, Pilot Ponytail is now parachuting conveniently into position behind the sheriff, so it looks like evil’s about to triumph.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/8/17

Say what you will about Marvin’s solid decade-plus of doing almost nothing but jokes about peeing and pooing, but I’m pretty sure that strip’s never actually depicted a turd before. Congrats (?) to Mother Goose and Grimm for being the innovator!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 8/17/17

Dawn is too young to legally drink alcohol, of course, but it’s nice of this fancy restaurant to pour her Diet Coke into a wine glass for her, to help her feel like a big girl. She’s adulting!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/17/17

I feel like a lot of people have seen the distinctive costumes from the The Handmaid’s Tale in posters and commercials and such and absorbed it as a pop cultural artifact without actually having watched the show or read the book, and, like … do you think they know it’s about state-sanctioned ceremonial rape, or what.

Beetle Bailey, 8/17/17

Today’s Beetle Bailey seems pretty strange if you take it literally, what with the awesome power and responsibility held by a general staff officer in the U.S. military, but it begins to make a lot more sense if you imagine that “this job” refers to, oh, just to take a profession totally at random, cartooning.

Post Content

Crankshaft, 6/4/17

Earlier this week we got treated to yet another hint that Crankshaft is trapped in temporal amber, always on the verge of death but never quite getting there. That’s really something for comics obsessives like me and the readers of this blog to contemplate, though. Today’s strip gets back to the simple, core message the Funkyverse has for casual readers turning to the funny pages for a wistful smile and a little escapism: all of us are going to die, and some of us sooner than others.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 6/4/17

Solution — Count Weirdly still has a pre-animalpocalypse mindset. He clings to the old ways, where there was a hierarchy of species, with his own, of course, on top. “Max?” he thinks, typing various combinations into the password field with no effect. “Is Max his pet?” Sly and Max smile at him with mingled pity and contempt. This is the new age. The standings of various species have been dramatically leveled, and Slylock chose that outdated password hint to remind him of the social order he now serves. His password is “NO GODS NO MASTERS”.

Panel from The Family Circus, 6/4/17

“There, I just summarized the whole long boring sermon for you! Now let’s go to the dog track. Don’t tell your parents.”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/4/17

Well, let’s just see what these adorable bunnies are up to in this whimsical comic strip and AAAUGH AAUGH AAAUGH THEY’VE AMPUTATED THEIR OWN LEGS IN ORDER TO IMPROVE THEIR FORTUNE AND NOW THEY’RE HAVING REGRETS ABOUT IT, WHAT HELL-NIGHTMARE IS THIS