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Mary Worth, 8/18/19

Ah, this Hugo, he is as slippery as an eel’s nest, n’est-il? Dawn tries to set her hook, but he plays it koi and won’t rise to the bait. Net net, she’s in the tank for him but he’s all, “No tanks!” She shouldn’t carp, though – she’s getting his sole attention, so at least he’s not a grouper. And it’s not like anything better is coming down the pike.

Fin.

Kevin and Kell, 8/18/19

Fannie Firefly says cousin Freddie sold their entire family to an insectivore couple for dinner. Freddie admits he took the money but claims he directed Fenton and Lindesfarne to a swarm of bees instead. How will Slylock prove Freddie is lying?

˙ʞɹɐp ǝɥʇ uᴉ ʍolƃ llᴉʍ sʇɹɐɟ s,ǝldnoɔ ǝɥʇ—sʇɥƃᴉl ǝɥʇ ɟɟo uɹnʇ llᴉʍ ʞɔolʎlS :ɹǝʍsu∀

Mutts, 8/18/19

POP QUIZ

What is the lowest form of humor?

1. Fish Puns
2. Fart Jokes
3. When Mutts finally delivers a solid punchline and promptly steps all over it.

— Uncle Lumpy

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So ends the Comics Curmudgeon Summer 2018 Fundraiser. Thank you, generous readers!

Mark Trail, 7/7/18

“Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to World of Animals. I’m your host Terrapene carolina yucatana; call me Carl. Looks like Mark and Rusty will be tied up for a while, so let’s take this time to explore Nature Facts from the wonderful World of Animals!”

Mutts, 7/7/18

“Did you know that a possum will eat a waffle if one is available? I mean, they’re marsupials, but they’re not stupid!“

Pluggers, 7/7/18

“Did you know that, like turtles, many birds have excellent color vision? It’s true! In the 1950’s scientist George Wald isolated the visual pigment iodopsin by surgically removing the eyes from thousands of chicken heads obtained from a Massachusetts slaughterh … what? Oh, sorry.”

“All right then, kids, let’s check in with everybody’s Favorite Furry Fascist, Slylock Fox!”

Slylock Fox, 7/7/18

“Wait a minute, something’s wrong here. Skateboarding is strictly prohibited on public sidewalks, for the protection of slower-moving species! And I don’t see a tax stamp on those sugary drinks! Finally, are those plastic straws? These skaters belong in jail, and I’d say a certain mammal isn’t doing his job!”

Sherman’s Lagoon, 7/7/18

“Now it’s time for our special segment, Animals and Technology. Bandwidth capacity is increasing without limit, so unless something is done quickly the entire Internet will soon fill up completely with cats! Do your part to avert catastrophe, by viewing adorable turtle videos instead. Thank you!”

Red and Rover, 7/7/18

“Well, that’s all we have time for today. Tune in again next time, and thank you for being kind to animals!”

— Turtle Carl, for Uncle Lumpy

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Gasoline Alley, 10/17/16

Part of Gasoline Alley’s schtick is the Picaresque Idiot Duo (PID), pairing an illiterate English-mangling leader with an improbably even more hopeless sidekick. These roles are most often played by Rufus and Joel. But Harold and Stick are here to remind us that it’s PIDs all the way down. From an apex somewhere around the Beverly Hillbillies’ Jed and Jethro Clampett, the line passes through Hootin’ Holler’s Snuffy Smith and Lukey, the two Gasoline Alley crews here, and then descends inexorably toward the Beavis Horizon.

Pluggers, 10/17/16

Joke-a-day strip Pluggers experiments with serial narrative: behold the pluggernovela. We’ve long known that Henrietta Beak is married to Earl Houndstooth and Andy Bear to Sheila Roo. Now we discover they’re next-door neighbors. The affairs begin innocently: a little bit of harmless robe-gazing and rake-play, some “accidental” pouch-flashing. But things spiral quickly into unnatural chicken-on-bear and dog-on-kangaroo depravity, threatening the very foundations of strait-laced plugger society. Claude Manx watches heartbroken from his mansion on the hill: Andy will never be his.

Slylock Fox, 10/17/16

Why suspect Shady? Maybe because he showed up to gloat? Seriously Sly – he’s standing right outside the greenhouse with a big grin on his face. More to the point, he’s Shady Shrew, for crying out loud. Why do you even waste your time with these “clues”? If this were Dick Tracy, the guy would already have been broken on the wheel.

Mutts, 10/17/16

Dude – have you ever even met a dog?

— Uncle Lumpy