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The Phantom, 8/24/18

So the Phantom’s daughter Heloise has been locked in a battle of wits with her father’s arch-enemy, the Nomad, and it is not going well for her! The Nomad slipped some bogus info to the TSA at the airport where he stashes his private plane to arrange this little interrogation, and I have to say that I find it both hilarious and terrifyingly plausible that some TSA guys would say, “This random guy we’ve never met tells us he’s overheard a teenage girl saying that terrorists … are good??? Set the entire country’s threat level to orange and get ready for a seven-hour interrogation!”

Six Chix, 8/24/18

I’ve noticed that several recent Six Chix strips set in a therapist’s office have included a discreet box of tissues located near the patient’s couch, which I think is a nice bit of verisimilitude. At least it’s something to cling onto here, where we otherwise have to try to figure out whether this hippo (?) is, like … hovering over the bird, or crushing it, or if they’re both on the couch, or what.

Marvin, 8/24/18

“Five! Five is exactly the right number of coffee shops for a city to have.”

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The Phantom, 7/13/18

Oh, hey, remember how the Phantom’s daughter Heloise is rooming with the daughter of her father’s archnemesis, the Nomad, at her fancy boarding school? Remember how the Phantom made his wife do a weird guessing game when he figured out the Nomad’s secret identity, rather than just coming right out and telling her who it was? Well, it looks like that’s the only way he likes telling the women in his family who the Nomad is, I guess! Anyway, I was given to understand that the Kids Today hate talking on the phone and only respond to texts, or possibly Instagram DMs, so I’m having a hard time buying Heloise just straight-up facetiming her dad in ladies room, though at least she got up and took the call in semi-private, rather than at the table where she’s, uh, having dinner with the Nomad, right now! I think this whole thing playing out as a text conversation at the table might’ve been more dramatically interesting, though probably somewhat harder to draw.

Pluggers, 7/13/18

I’m not sure if the point of this panel is “pluggers don’t throw away spoiled food because they’re poor” or “pluggers don’t throw away spoiled food because they have incipient dementia,” but either way you have to admit it’s pretty grim!

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Gasoline Alley, 6/30/18

Every few years, Gasoline Alley teases us that supercentenarian Walt Wallet is headed for the Old Comics Home, a kind of heaven for discontinued comic-strip characters. But it was a lie and a cheat in 2006, and a cheat and a lie in 2013. Will no one rid us of this troublesome coot?

Maybe this time. Here, Team Alley promises to put Walt away for good, with a “roast and toast affair” that will cook, slice, and serve him up on open-face sandwiches. Farewell, honored patriarch, and bon appétit, everybody! Glue down those dentures, folks — there’s a-gonna be some chewin’!

Phantom, 6/30/18

Since its origins in 1936, Phantom has threaded the needle pretty tight on issues of colonialism and race. So it’s refreshing to see today’s unambiguous repudiation of “one drop of blood” racial classification. It’s also pretty savvy of Team Bandar to top up the Phantom with blood from warrior Babudan — Guran’s is basically donuts dissolved in palm wine. Which would make him a plugger, I guess?

Spider-Man, 6/30/18

Aw, look at these two, bickering with Fate when they were clearly Meant to Be. Soon, they will cover the ground together. So much ground!

Luann, 6/30/18

Grr, all right here is your precious Luann.

You know, for the pragmatic, hypercapable member of Team Tonad, Toni keeps getting basic mechanics wrong: using a torque wrench for disassembly, or setting up her pipe wrench to tighten that hose coupling. Seems to have the arm strength, though. And those mitts are the size of her head!

Hello, faithful readers! I’ll be sitting in through Wednesday July 11, as Josh nobly attends to family duties in faraway France while the rest of us sweat it out here. SO UNFAIR. Reach me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if the site gives you trouble. No need to alert me to comments in moderation, though — I get automatic updates. Enjoy!

— Uncle Lumpy