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Beetle Bailey, 12/18/11

Just beneath the corny wackiness of Beetle Bailey is of course a constant undercurrent of brutal violence, but I’ve never seen it quite so explicit as it is today. We see Camp Swampy as a set of mutually hostile fiefdoms, whose simmering resentment towards each other could escalate to open carnage based on the most minor of disputes, with little that the camp commanders can do to restrain their nominal underlings. The final panel is particularly harrowing: Sarge, still so keyed up that he probably can’t even feel those visible bruises yet, stalking off wide-eyed from the mangled corpse of his rival, which he’s left among the strewn garbage and its stink lines.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 12/18/11

Ha, this is a great look at the pathetic home life of Shady Shrew! Rotting food on the floor, bugs everywhere demonstrating his failure as an insectivore, a hole in the window that instead of fixing or even covering with plastic sheeting he’s just using to lob eggs at penguins, suitcases at the ready in case he ever needs to bust out the old “No, I just got back from a long trip, I swear!” alibi, etc. Thank God his mother isn’t around to see this. (She’s not dead, just so disgusted by her son that she never comes by to visit.)

Pluggers, 12/18/11

Normally I shave off the Pluggers Sunday title panel so that you can get a better look at the actual comic itself (to punish you, I guess?) but today I wanted you to see the trio of plugger-spawn smiling at you from above the strip’s logo. Despite their genetic abnormalities, pluggers have managed to reproduce, which means there will be another generation of this comic, despite your fondest hopes! On the bright side, these young pluggers would rather sit dully on their couch diddling with computer whatsits than learn the basics of becoming a guerilla army.

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Gil Thorp, 12/14/11

Oh, hey, it looks like this year’s current basketball plot will bring back some mildly beloved characters from last winter, including the witty, fashion-forward, Glee-and-Project-Runway-loving, do-we-have-to-spell-it-out-for-you, well-too-bad-we’re-not-going-to-for-some-reason Lini Verde. Lini gives Lopat’s new tattoo the savagely hilarious put-down it probably deserves (not that any of us reading at home would know, since the strip stubbornly refuses to actually show it to us), but I’m more interested in the fact that Lini is pushing his freakishly long finger straight into his face, presumably to distract himself from the fact that he needs to spend another year minimum surrounded by these witless cretins.

Pluggers, 12/14/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because pluggers’ friends are all dying, and they’re too tired or scared to make new ones! You know, if I were this he-plugger I’d be concerned by where exactly his wife is going with this conversation, because it sounds to me that she’s about to float her idea for a murder-suicide pact.

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Dennis the Menace, 12/6/11

Dennis is bad at eating, inevitably ending up covered with half-masticated food, misaimed condiments, and slobber.

Mary Worth, 12/6/11

Mary has now completely forgotten about the missing Emily Smith, and has ironically become fixated on the idea that she might be losing her memory instead.

Six Chix, 12/6/11

Due to her family’s poverty, this little girl isn’t going to college, and indeed will probably die of malnutrition long before she has a chance to graduate from high school.

Pluggers, 12/6/11

Pluggers like to swing with other couples from their church.