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Spider-Man, 4/15/11

You know, I’ve been regarding Morbius’s nicknames with a certain detached amusement. “The living vampire?” Contradictory, but whatever. “The human vampire?” I suppose there might be vampiriform animals, but isn’t the standard-issue vampire an undead human being? But this “urban Dracula” thing I won’t stand for. Damn you, Jameson, the original Dracula may have been of rustic origins, but surely the entire plot of the novel was driven by his desire to acquire property in London, which at the time was the largest city in the world! He was a quintessentially urban fiend, despite your slander.

Pluggers, 4/15/11

Terry Craig of Dallas, Texas has managed to fit both “pluggers are slobs” and “pluggers are fat” into his entry today. I can never keep track, are these things supposed to be insulting or not?

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Mary Worth, 4/13/11

Speaking of sparks, the ones that were going off between Dr. Drew and Liza have pretty much burned out, if the way she’s staring at the bottom of her glass in panel one and her slack, heavy-lidded expression in panel two are any indication. Drew, we established hours ago that Liza thinks that both medicine and caring about her job are for chumps, so let’s can the “Oooh, being a doctor is so rewarding” blah blah, shall we?

Beetle Bailey, 4/13/11

Not going to lie to you: after seeing Otto wearing his uniform (or the underclothes he wears beneath his uniform) all the time, this strip kind of shocked me, since it read as full-on nudity.

Pluggers, 4/13/11

Sometimes pluggers have to rent out their work vehicle to school bus fetishists for orgies, just to make ends meet.

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Panel from Mary Worth, 1/28/11

Are you feeling anxious? Fearful of the future? Do you lack confidence? Just print out multiple copies of this Mary Worth panel and tape them up pretty much everywhere. “I’m not afraid!” says Mary, as she looks directly at you, through your eyes and into your soul. Either her iron-willed confidence will be transferred to you, or you’ll descend quickly into gibbering madness.

Pluggers, 1/28/11

Pluggers scoff at education, and commerce, and leaving the house, and interacting with fellow humans who aren’t on the teevee-box.

Family Circus, 1/28/11

“The other trees are whores. Stupid naked whores.”