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Hagar the Horrible, 9/30/25

Hagar is the protagonist of this strip, so we usually see things from his perspective, and I have to admit I never really tried to figure out what his crew might think of him. Indeed, his warriors do most of the fighting and dying in their various raids, but Hagar (perhaps already relatively well-off, as minor gentry?) gets the lion’s share of the booty and uses it to take his wife and favorite lieutenant to white tablecloth restaurants while they settle for scraps. Anyway, the way the guy in the back answers Hagar’s question implies that he’s contemplating the choice between asking Hagar for more money and spending that money on fancy food, or skipping several steps and simply eating Hagar directly.

Beetle Bailey, 9/30/25

I guess the point of this strip is that the U.S. Army isn’t just an office job, but rather a calling, and even the least of our brave warfighters might find themselves deployed at a moment’s notice wherever necessary to protect America’s people and interests. Unfortunately, by taking a phone call from his mother, Beetle has violated every opsec rule and revealed the location of his unit to the enemy, and will be killed by a drone-launched missile in approximately seven to nine minutes.

Pluggers, 9/30/25

I’m genuinely digging this plugger’s facial expression here. It’s not “Ah, another way in which my body is failing as I slowly decline towards death,” as you might expect. No, it’s sharp and genuine alarm. “Tennis elbow? But … I don’t even play tennis. Who’s been playing tennis with my elbow?”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 9/30/25

Mother Goose and Grimm: this is clearly a single-panel joke. You are 100% allowed to do single-panel jokes! You do them all the time! It’s also a very bad joke, but if you kept the proper structure, it would at least take up less of our time and cognitive energy.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/23/25

Last we saw of Truck and Cody, they had agreed to treat each other as honorary father and son and it was all very heartwarming. But here we are several days into Truck and Wanda’s wedding storyline and no sign of Cody! You know who did snag a coveted invite to this shindig, though, is Shorty and the Beanpole. Thank God Truck took my advice and didn’t have them perform, but still. Can you imagine what a dork-ass middle school these two twerps go to where they’re earning “so many points” by spending an evening with a bunch of adult roots country Americana Ameripolitan superfans?

Garfield, 9/23/25

I guess I just have to accept that “Garfield watches a vaguely animal-themed TV channel” is just part of the reality of the Garfiverse now, but I don’t have to like it. What kind of cruel management runs this network? They know he’s a cat, he put that right in his entry, so why are they giving him things cats hate? Are they anti-cat? Is this why they were showing pro-dog content the last time he was watching? Garfield, have some self-respect in your media consumption habits!

Pluggers, 9/23/25

“Pluggers are vain about their appearance and that drives them to buy a variety of personal grooming products.” Come on now. Are you even listening to yourself. You should be embarrassed by this. Embarrassed.

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Pluggers, 9/19/25

Look, you know I can be a little spicy when it comes to pluggers and their culture and values, but I’m not made of stone. I don’t wish ill upon them, really, and the fact that so many recent Pluggers panels have been “jokes” about how pluggers are constantly suffering in physical pain and are almost certainly about to die has been fairly depressing to me. That’s why I really enjoy today’s panel, which reminds us about the “fun” aspects of pluggerdom, like walking around in public wearing clothes that are covered with filth of various types. That’s something we can all enjoy in good conscience!

Zits, 9/19/25

Hey, uh, do the Duncans (in-universe) and the Zits creative team (in real life) know how laptops work. Like, do they know that they come with a power cable that you can plug into the wall, and then the laptop will operate even if you’ve drained the battery. Have these people been using laptops until their batteries died, then throwing the laptops in the garbage, then buying new laptops, for years now. I feel like someone should tell them????