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Blondie, 4/23/24

Good lord, when’s the last time Blondie introduce a new character? Even Elmo has been around since at least 1954. Despite [gestures vaguely around] the evidence, I’m still a pretty big fan of democracy, so I urge you to log onto either of Meta Platforms, Inc.,’s two most popular websites and cast your vote for just the dumbest thing you can think of for Blondie and Irma’s new coworker, like a sullen zoomer named Braelyn or a hulking beast known as “Gortho the Destroyer.” We Can Do It! Keep Hope Alive!

Marvin, 4/23/24

This is, of course, a riff of the famous line from When Harry Met Sally that comes right after Meg Ryan has loudly simulated an orgasm in public, and I’m really not comfortable contemplating what this is supposed to mean about the sybaritic life of babies. Instead I’ll just point out that Marvin and the baby on the far left are eating recognizable food items, while the baby in the middle, the one experiencing incredible levels of delight, just has a bowl of lumpy brown goo in front of him. OK, now that I’ve written that sentence, I realize that didn’t really make me very comfortable either.

Pluggers, 4/23/24

Pain! Pain! A plugger’s life is nothing but pain! The pain leaves no room in their mind for any other thoughts or memories! Pain!

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Pluggers, 4/22/24

John Cougar Mellencamp sits at the intersection of plugger and poet, and I have long believed that “Life goes on/ long after the thrill of living is gone” is one of the most poignant lines in the corpus of 20th century American literature. Anyway, mad respect to Pluggers today for briefly but explicitly acknowledging the overpowering miasma of hopelessness that suffuses every panel of this comic that’s ever been published.

Mary Worth, 4/22/24

So I was right that Wilbur truly is going into a fugue state in mid-conversation, but wrong in that Iris very much is noticing. This is actually pretty triggering, as Wilbur retreating to his mind palace so he can imagine himself as a spandex-clad superhero is surely a familiar scenario to her, from when she and Wilbur used to have sex.

Rhymes With Orange, 4/22/24

YOU are concerned about the potenial fire hazard that could arise from YHWH’s appearance as a burning bush

I am concerned about why these bears are being forced to learn religious dogma about human deities, rather than being told the truth about the great and awful Ursine God

We are NOT the same

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Dennis the Menace, 4/19/24

There’s been a disturbing trend lately of Dennis the Menace panels where Dennis doesn’t figure into the gag at all, even as an unseen presence, and instead it’s just Mr. and Mrs. Wilson going about their daily lives, and while I guess it might be a smart move to pander to the newspaper comics’ aging audience, frankly I’m not a fan. This could have been yet another George-and-Martha only installment, but instead it includes Dennis as a silent observer of Mr. Wilson’s petty gripe and his wife’s resulting discomfiture, which I think is a truly if subtly menacing move, so kudos.

Mary Worth, 4/19/24

Ha ha, what if Wilbur, to get a little measure of revenge against his ex’s young, hot new boyfriend, imagined his rival as a brutish ape? That would definitely be amusing and … oh no. Oh no. Look at his face, look at those drooping eyelids and little smile, he is definitely becoming aroused, abort abort abort

Pluggers, 4/19/24

No! No!!! I don’t care how cheap they are — a plugger would never purchase tofu, do you hear me? Never! Never!!!!