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Pluggers, 7/24/19

If I were to make a joke about exurban American old people obsessively watching Matlock, it would be rude, but since Pluggers is a feature by and for exurban American old people, they can say it, and I respect that. Anyway, my guess is that what the dog-man plugger is attempting to convey is less “I use the syndicated rebroadcasts of classic TV shows in the pre-local-news programming block to tell the time, just as my ancestors used the position of the sun and the stars” and more “woman, please hold your tongue and do not interrupt me during my favorite stories, it makes it hard to focus and solve the mystery, we discussed this.”

Mark Trail, 7/24/19

I always knew Mark Trail was in the tank for the Fourth Estate, but who knew that the payoff of this story would be that good local journalism was the real treasure all along — more valuable than gold?

Mary Worth, 7/24/19

Dawn has spent most of this date using factoids from the “Trivia” section of Wikipedia articles she got to from clicking names in the “List of French people” at random as conversational prompts, and somehow it’s still going better than the last one did.

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Funky Winkerbean, 7/20/19

I have to admit, this absolutely bonkers “killer chimp” reveal has at least gotten me seriously emotionally invested in Funky Winkerbean, event though my investment is basically in seeing how much more bonkers it’s going to get. Today Cindy posits that Zanzibar was “jealous,” which … hasn’t really been explored in the strip, as far I’ve noticed? And also Cliff let Butter leave town with a talking, thinking, murderous ape??? How did he know Zanzibar wasn’t going to kill again? Who would stop him? Certainly not Butter Brinkel! How many corpses did Butter and Zanzibar leave in their wake as they fled from state to state across the country?

The whole vibe this episode is a delightful (for certain admittedly very limited definitions of “delightful”) throwback not to the Funkyverse’s actual zany past but to the moment when the strip was shifting gears from its zany past to its ultra-depressing present. “There’s a chimp who can talk and also he murdered an innocent woman and ruined countless lives” definitely fits in with “There’s a zany dude who goes by ‘Plantman’ who dresses up as a plant and is also a murderous maniac.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/20/19

I have to admit it’s kind of charming how these two are talking frankly and cheerfully about their jobs as scam artist: giving professional praise, coming up with ideas for new revenue streams, brainstorming the details of possible strategies, and so on. I’m also intrigued that we have yet to see the sinister puppetmaster’s face, but, just like an actual puppetmaster, he’s always dressed in black. You know who else dresses all in black?

THAT’S RIGHT, BABY, IT’S RENE THE ART FORGER

HE’S NOT SATISIFED WITH FORGING ART, NOW HE’S PUTTING OUT FAKE MEDICAL SERVICES TOO

HE’S THE BAD BOY OF THIS STRIP AND HE DOESN’T CARE WHOSE TOES HE STEPS ON

BUT HE’S ALWAYS POLITE AND ENCOURAGING TO HIS ACCOMPLICES BECAUSE THAT’S JUST THE KIND OF GUY HE IS

Pluggers, 7/20/19

For most of us the facts of life are about sex. For pluggers, they’re about the lifetime of unacknowledged and unappreciated domestic and emotional labor their wives have put in to keep them alive. Ha ha, it’s funny because if the chicken-lady dies, the dog man won’t survive for six months without her!

Mark Trail, 7/20/19

Does … does Mark Trail know how mines work? I’m pretty sure this isn’t how mines work.

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Funky Winkerbean, 7/11/19

Ah ha, now we’re finding out why Cliff Anger, who was bosom buddies with Butter Brinkel, never spoke up about evidence he heard to clear his friend’s good name: that evidence came from the Pinkertons, a “detective agency” whose primary purpose in the late 19th and early 20th century was to bust unions and break strikes, often violently. Cliff, as an unrepentant Stalinist, simply refused to give any credence to information coming from private right-wing militias, no matter what the consequences for his pal.

Pluggers, 7/11/19

Oh my God, this is actually … a good idea? I read today’s Pluggers and immediately had the thought, “Well, for me it’s dark grey and black, but yes, I would do this?” Folks, today is the fifteenth anniversary of the very first post on this blog, and it’s also the day I clearly have begun to die. Farewell, I love you all!