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The Lockhorns, 9/29/18

Congrats to the syndicate colorists who successfully researched and reproduced the New York Jets’ team colors in this panel! Also, since the Lockhorns feel like a very Long Island family to me, Leroy’s fandom makes sense, geographically and (I can say this as a similarly long-suffering Bills fan) spiritually. Anyway, my main point here is despite the best stabs at accuracy from everyone involved, Leroy still looks like Mario’s brother Luigi, which is fairly comical and probably not helping the Jets in their quixotic quest for a winning 2018 season.

Pluggers, 9/29/18

Despite appearances, this isn’t an old man looking forward to some wholesome quality time with his grandson. That’s the smile of a skillful Monopoly shark who’s finally gotten to the stage of the grift when he says, “Say, why don’t we try betting some big money on this one, champ?”

Family Circus, 9/29/18

“Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets — I just wish it weren’t on a weekend, O Lord.” I wouldn’t have called it in advance, but seeing a St. Augustine/Taxi Driver mashup in the Family Circus just feels right.

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Mark Trail, 9/19/18

Remember that time Rusty accidentally took some pictures of a couple of bank robbers laying low (?) at a local cafe, and then they offered to buy his camera and when he balked at that they just grabbed the camera and threw money at him? Anyway, if you look at that camera it was obviously from 1953, which means he’s not super up on modern photo-taking technology and it’s thus not surprising that he has no clear idea what he’s supposed to do with his phone as he and Mara surreptitiously try to gather more information on their suspect. I mean, phones are for making phone calls! And who’s he supposed to call? Mark? The police? The library, to get information about Mayan artifacts? You’re not making any sense, Mara!

Beetle Bailey, 9/19/18

We all have a good laugh about not know what Beetle’s eyes look like because he never takes off his cap, but having now seen the weird fleshly lobe that normally lurks under General Halftrack’s hat and apparently flops grotesquely down over his eyelids when he removes it, I for one demand that we remain protected from whatever body horror lurks on Private Bailey’s skull.

Pluggers, 9/19/18

Look, kid, you might not get why pluggers had to aid and abet the Indoensian genocide in the late ’60s, but just trust us: sometimes you gotta kill a million people, for freedom and America, OK?

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/15/18

You ever notice that a significant portion of the dialogue in post-Woody Wilson Rex Morgan, M.D., consists of characters saying things like “Makes sense” or “You might be right about that” or just otherwise agreeing with whoever they’re talking to? It doesn’t really make for gripping drama, and also, if you want to get specific, the restaurant industry, like just about every other form of retail, is increasingly bifurcating into two segments: one that’s increasingly higher-end and higher-margin, and another that stays just a step above fast food while emulating much of the industrial and assembly-line production processes that make it possible to eke out a profit from low-priced meals. In other words, it’s going to be delightful watching everyone tell Jordan that he just might be right about his very sensible plans, right before he dramatically goes out of business less than six months after he opens.

Pluggers, 9/15/18

Is that a plugger … driving … a Japanese vehicle???? This nightmare is what comes of allowing Californians to identify as pluggers.