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Mary Worth, 8/26/20

Like every good (?) Mary Worth story, the tale of Madi was pretty neatly wrapped up last week but is still going to keep happening for another week or maybe more, who can say, until we’re truly begging for whatever non-adventure they have lined up next. Anyway, do you think Mary’s going to stay in touch with yet another child who spent a summer hanging out with her? Mary did keep up with her wee pal Olive and even visited her in the big apple, but only because Olive was the anointed one who could predict the future, and I’m pretty sure Madi’s secret banana bread recipe knowledge can’t really compare with that.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/26/20

Gotta admire Rene for using a good old fashioned pen to keep track of his victims’ bank account info rather than saving it in a COMPUTER where the FBI can find it and use it as evidence in his trial. Now, is he using his own phone to make these calls, which will therefore be easily traced back to him? Yes, yes he is. But he’s on the right track, and you gotta respect his hustle.

The Phantom, 8/26/20

This nice lady “doesn’t see race”! It’s actually serious psychological and medical condition that makes it difficult for her to fully parse interpersonal relationships and social dynamics.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/24/20

Wow, ha ha, today’s Snuffy Smith is grim on a number of levels. I’m mostly fixated on the genuine and justified terror Tater feels as that chicken fixates its cold, soulless eyes on him, a cruel smile somehow visible on his beak. Snuffy stole that chicken, to kill and eat, so clearly it needs to strike at its kidnapper’s child and strike hard now if it wants to even the score at all. Anyway, where do you suppose Loweezy is? Is she ever coming back? Would you?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/24/20

Looks like my fake COVID cure prediction was correct! My main complaint here is that this website doesn’t look marvelous at all. It’s just centered black text on a white background! Where’s the elaborate scam backstory? Where are the images? Where are the links? How is this supposed separate any fools from their money? Rene, you’re an artist and a storyteller, for pete’s sake, and I’m very disappointed in you.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/23/20

Well, it looks like Rex Morgan, M.D.’s “Lockdown Stories” isn’t going just involve Michelle tearfully being separated from her husband so she can work the COVID ward, and, uh, Rex gleefully being separated from his family so he can work in the COVID ward; we’re also getting … THE RETURN OF RENE, BABY!

Rene! You know we always want more Rene!

Remember, Rene was introduced as an amiable art teacher/former forger when Woody Wilson was writing the strip, but under current writer Terry Beatty has become a criminal mastermind, with grifts ranging from classic comics fraud to new age scam artistry. You’d think that a global pandemic wouldn’t require the services of this strip’s only actual villain to ramp up the drama, but now that he’s here I’m sure we’re going to learn he’s into some fun stuff. Will it be PPE hoarding? Hawking colloidal silver as a COVID-19 miracle cure? Did he develop the novel coronavirus in a lab specifically to make Buck’s life miserable? Can’t wait to find out!

Six Chix, 8/23/20

Note that the lady in this strip is sipping coffee or perhaps tea from her mug as she enjoys her weekend crossword, probably in the middle of the afternoon, while the dude is walking around holding a glass of wine (who even knows how many he’s had at this point), drunk and belligerent and looking to ruin somebody’s day. It’s dark!

Dennis the Menace, 8/23/20

Did you ever think about how Mr. Wilson, the gruff antagonist in the syndicated newspaper comic strip Dennis the Menace, probably has a pretty depressing life? Well, today’s Dennis the Menace would very much like you to think about it, for some reason!

Beetle Bailey, 8/23/20

Man, if exuberant and energetic displays of joy make you mad, you should probably not work in an ice cream parlor!