Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Mary Worth, 7/19/24

The idea that Mary lacks self-confidence is, of course, absurd. What may be surprising is that she also does not lack in self-awareness, which is why she won’t get on stage herself but is eager to watch various Westons humiliate themselves in delicious fashion.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/19/24

See, Buck isn’t physically abusive, and he would never abandon his own child if they came out as nonbinary. That should make you feel lucky to have him as an inexplicably recurring character in this comic strip. Never complain about roots country bullshit again! Think of the alternatives!

Judge Parker, 7/19/24

“Wait, did I imply something interesting might be happening in this storyline? Ha ha, just kidding! Please do not get emotionally invested! It’s just more vague psychodrama, I swear!”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/13/24

Hey, he got made but he didn’t get caught, seeing as he’s standing right here in front of you a free tween. He can still pull this off! Look, his shirt is exactly same color as the couch, you could easily camouflage him as part of the decor when the cops show up!

Mary Worth, 7/13/24

DAWN [thinking]: “Ha ha, when he says they ‘saved’ him, he probably means he once again fell into the water and they had to fish him out, right? He doesn’t mean they saved him emotionally, right? Not gonna ask that out loud. Better just to assume. Don’t really want to know the truth.”

Gil Thorp, 7/13/24

[getting increasingly agitated] Wait, who won it? Who is the winner?? [calming down] Oh, right, it’s a literary device to create suspense, we’ll find out tomorrow, that’s fine, I can wait [suddenly getting agitated again] Oh NO it’s SATURDAY, Gil Thorp doesn’t run on Sundays, I gotta wait till Monday, HOW AM I GONNA WAIT TILL MONDAY

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/11/24

As a guy who was once a kid who was picked on as kind of a weirdo myself, I am, of course, pulling for Parker. They seem smart and have a oddball sense of humor that will serve them much better as an adult than a tween. But I don’t think Buck is the guy who should be delivering this message. Buck is perhaps the most eminently bullyable character in Rex Morgan, M.D., and I don’t think holding him up as the future Parker has to look forward to is reassuring at all. I guess he’s supposed to be living proof that it does in fact get better, because if this guy is out there every day representing roots country stars and retired horror comics artists and isn’t getting his head shoved into a toilet on the regular, adulthood really must be free of bullies once and for all, you know?

Marvin, 7/11/24

Look, it’s not my fault that this piss-obsessed strip leans on the “Ha ha, a fire hydrant is like a toilet, to a dog” bit! Because now they’ve included a fire hydrant in this non-piss-related strip and all I can think of is that the equivalent with people would be two people standing next to a toilet with no explanation. Are they about to piss? Did they just finish pissing? Did they, or are they about to, piss at the same time? This strip has poisoned my mind, I tell you! Poisoned it!

Pluggers, 7/11/24

Pluggers don’t know where they are or what time of day it is or what’s happening to or around them and, real talk: God, I wish that was me. They seem pretty chill about it!