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Hi and Lois, 2/22/18

I’ve always understood the “mood” in “mood music” to be arousal, and that the point of “mood music” is to get one or more parties in the “mood” for sex. So I’m sad to report that Hi has so lost his sense of joie de vivre that he now needs musical assistance to follow through with one of his great joys in life: jerking off to Golf magazine and then falling asleep on the couch.

Mary Worth, 2/22/18

I guess we’re going to do this thing where Mary and Ted continue to talk as if they’re having a normal business conversation while Mary slowly but methodically shatters all the bones in his wrist, and I frankly am here for it!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/22/18

Literally this entire week of Rex Morgan, M.D., has been a bunch of teenagers talking about eating lunch, so you’d think by the time they finally got to the climactic panel where a teen bites into a sandwich, they’d be ready to make it look like a normal human would look biting into a fully edible sandwich made of normal sandwich materials. Turns out nope!

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Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean, 2/17/18

For once, the decade-long Funkyverse chronological disjunction actually comes into play with today’s strips! In Crankshaft we see Comicszone, a local retailer that was unable to survive in the face of competition from online retailers who could offer the same products with more convenience and less overhead. In Funky Winkerbean, taking place a decade later, we see a key strategy deployed by those brick-and-mortar businesses that survived: transforming stores from mere places to purchase goods into sites for community building and in-person experiences.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/17/18

Sarah has clearly internalized the classic three-part thank-you-note structure for kids — (1) thank the gift giver, (2) make a specific reference to the gift given, (3) make a reference to future social interactions you’ll have with the gift giver — and stripped it down to its bare essence to deploy in face-to-face scenarios and make them as efficient as possible.

Beetle Bailey, 2/17/18

Do … war games generally involve firing massive live artillery rounds? Regardless, I’m not sure what the “joke” in today’s strip is supposed to be, unless it’s “General Halftrack can’t experience joy in the absence of alcohol, ha ha!”

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Shoe, 2/6/18

There are plenty of people of all ages who love all the bands the Perfesser just rattled off here, thanks to the Baby Boomers’ stranglehold on the canon of pop culture — I certainly listened to all of them as a kid. If the Perfesser really identifies with them, though, I guess he’s supposed to be a Boomer, and if his date has never even heard of them, maybe she’s … a literal teen? It’s so hard to tell, because she looks just as beaten down and depressed as every other bird-person in this strip.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/6/18

Ahh, June is doing some snooping around Johnny’s grandparents’ background, and finally we’re going to get some dirt on these suspicious char– oh, a kindergarten teacher? Huh. Well, surely the grandf– ah. Model kits. RC cars and such. Hmm. Maybe the real drama is how much less interesting this can get.