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Shoe, 4/25/25

I am almost certainly overthinking this, but as a highly skilled and well-compensated comics blogger it’s my job to overthink it, so: why, and how, is the Perfesser’s fitbit keeping track of Shoe’s thrown fits? Wouldn’t Shoe’s fitbit logically be the device that records his increased heart rate and elevated blood pressure and so forth, and not the fitbit on the wrist of his employee, who’s way on the other side of the room? I can see the appeal of learning the novel word “fitbit” and wanting to immediately work it into a joke in the syndicated newspaper strip you write, but I would suggest doing some cursory research as to how the device with that name works first.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/25/25

I’ve decided to stop being annoyed by the fact that I can’t really peg what the tone here is supposed to be and just be amused by it. Are Summer and Auggie enjoying a friendly chat with a sympathetic old man and getting free stuff while they wait for the cops to show up, or are they terrified while this admitted murderer rambles on about how his whole bloodline has been wiped out before its time, tries to bestow gifts upon them, makes menacing references to various weapons he hasn’t used yet, and reminds them that they’ll soon find themselves in a room with some trigger-happy cops and a guy the cops don’t trust? Who can say!

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Judge Parker, 4/22/25

Wow, Sophie, remember when one of your friends got mildly kidnapped back when you were a tween, and you got all revved up about the idea of the kidnappers getting killed by a CIA missile drone because wars interest you? Now you can’t even handle watching one little murder on some grainy footage from a commercial drone. College really has made you soft.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/22/25

Huh, I have vague memories of Rex seeing a patient a few months back and saying “Welp, looks like you’re dying, so I don’t see much point in drawing out your visit, my staff will give you the relevant paperwork,” but I don’t seem to have mentioned it on my blog, so, good subtle world-building, Rex Morgan, M.D.! Speaking of subtlety, I like the composition of this panel: Summer and Auggie standing, anxious at being in the presence of an admitted killer, while said killer was like “Say, that looks like a comfy chair to plop down into while I wait for the cops to come and take my terminally ill ass to prison … don’t mind if I do!”

The Phantom, 4/22/25

Wow, we really are still talking about the Mozz Prophecy/”Death of the Phantom” arc that’s been happening on and off but mostly on for eight years now, wild stuff. At least we’re carrying on the beloved Phantom tradition of the Ghost Who Bathes carrying on plot-important conversations with his wife while enjoying a steamy natural water feature while fully nude.

Dennis the Menace, 4/22/25

Not sure if either the traditional “Civilization was smashed and Europe was plunged into a thousand years of barbarian darkness” or the more nuanced “In Italy in particular, Roman civilization outlived the Roman state and was transformed in an evolutionary way rather than being snuffed out” answers are even slightly appropriate for kindergartners here, but that’s very clearly some kind of tourist guidebook the teacher is holding rather than anything educational, so maybe this lesson is about how there are cheap airfares to Italy during the winter and the weather is still fine for walking around the city most days, so that’s why you all had a substitute teacher for most of February.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/21/25

It’s Monday, y’all! Monday, the beginning of a new week in the soaps, with promises of exciting setups playing out over the next few days in increasingly intriguing and twisty ways, especially in this Rex Morgan plot about literal murder, and … wait, what’s that? The murderer has announced his intention to turn himself in and is apologizing to anyone his murderous ways might have inconvenienced? Hmm. Not really what I was hoping for. I guess we now have three to six thrilling days of everyone standing around awkwardly waiting for the cops to show up to look forward to.

Hi and Lois, 4/21/25

Ha ha, yes, that certainly is a pickle, you guys. It’s not fair, college wasn’t so expensive back when you embarked on the project of having a family with four children back in [does math] 2009? Can that really be right? Kids who are in high school today were born in 2009, a year when I and my contemporaries were already fully mature adults? Seems wrong. Seems very wrong indeed.

Crankshaft, 4/21/25

“Look at this ring … I’m married? To you, I guess? What the hell?”