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Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Maybe they just want to make sure he picks the poop up. Lotta people don’t

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Rex Morgan, M.D, 11/29/24

Oh, hey, it turns out that Rex’s cranky old patient is Merle Lewton, who we met a few years ago after he got scammed by Miss Galexia, the Rene Beluso-backed new age healer. Merle’s current complaints are more down to Earth, mostly consisting of him being tired and in pain all the time, and Rex’s advice was “I dunno, try going for a walk instead of sitting on the couch and watching TV all day?” Merle tried to “beat the system” by getting a treadmill so he could go for a walk and watch TV all day, but that was nixed by his wife who claimed treadmills were “expensive” and “ugly”; she assigned him dog-walking duties instead. But now — whoops! — it turns out that taking your dog for a walk is just an open invitation to harassment by local punks, thugs, and ruffians. The lesson here: don’t listen to your killjoy wife and snooty doctor! Leaving the house is not worth the trouble!

Beetle Bailey, 11/29/24

What I love most about the Beetle Bailey strips that look at the Halftracks’ awful marriage are Mrs. Halftrack’s facial expressions. She always looks either furiously angry or crushingly depressed. They’re not doing a bit! Their married life really is a constant punishment, especially for her!

The Phantom, 11/29/24

Speaking of punishment, there’s a new Phantom plot getting started, and Diana, on a work trip in London, appears to have by chance met a guy who was once involved in some kind of BDSM relationship with her husband. We’re probably not supposed to imagine him talking like Austin Powers in that last word balloon, but I’m doing it anyway.

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Mostly babies

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Hi and Lois, 11/19/24

See, here’s an example of why Hi and Lois absolutely should stick to its post-punchline vibes: today’s strip does have a punchline, and it sucks. Oh, what’s that? You don’t watch a form of televised entertainment that’s become omnipresent because it’s cheap to produce and activates the same base pleasure centers in the human bran that react to cocaine? You’d rather contemplate the slow-moving majesty of nature instead? Thanks, smug baby, you’ve really given us all something to think about, via extremely mild wordplay.

Marvin, 11/19/24

Two of the worst things about Marvin are (a) it’s often about the title character peeing and pooing, and his adversarial relationship to toilets and being potty trained, and (b) it never really lands on whether the title character is a preverbal infant who communicates with thought balloons, in which case the peeing and pooing make sense, or a child old enough to go to school independently and talk out loud and such. Anyway, today’s strip hits both of these low notes, if you’re keeping track.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/19/24

Is Rex Morgan a fast-paced, gripping adventure strip that makes every visit to the comics page a thrill ride? No. But does it tackle real-world medical issues and educate the general public about their importance? Also no. But does it feature lots of drawings of hands in very specific positions and configurations? Yeah, that’s the one. It does that. We all know about “feet guys,” but if there’s such a thing as “hand guys,” as I assume there are, Rex Morgan, M.D., is their go-to, and I think that’s great.

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Soapy quickies

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Gil Thorp, 11/14/24

I don’t know why but it infuriates me that Marty is casually dropping “P.I.O.” into his patter. We get it, Marty, you know that they’re called “public information officers” and not “press secretaries” now, you’re very in the know and up to date and yet you still couldn’t convince them to violate HIPAA and tell you what’s wrong with Gil Thorp’s heart and brain, blah blah blah.

Mary Worth, 11/14/24

“Wouldn’t that be wild? Wouldn’t that be crazy! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!” [the waiter arrives; Mary and Jeff order their usual dishes and spend the rest of the evening eating in silence]

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/14/24

“You seein’ the pattern here, buddy? Long story short, I need you to hit me in the head with this shovel as hard you can. I’ll be rich!”