Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/29/14

Hahahahahaha Mrs. Pierpont might be a nice old philanthropist with a WASP-y name but it turns out that she was an active participant in organized criminal activities! Her “driver” was presumably a violent mob enforcer, and now will be driving around a kindergartner and her teenage babysitter! Oh, this is rich, rich, and should be great for Sarah’s personal and professional development. “What do you think, Sarah … should I give it to them?” she’ll be asking again in a few weeks, only this time it’ll be about whether she should gun down two members of a rival gang in a dark alley.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/29/14

Hahahahahaha they’re actually calling the movie version of this nonsense Lust for Lisa! This was mentioned in the strip immediately after this one, which I didn’t bother mentioning because I figured it was just a terrible one-off joke and we’d never hear about it again, but turns out nope! Turns out hilariously, hilariously nope. Anyway, if they’re still looking for a sexxxy direction to take this in, I suggest this classic Shortpacked strip.

Momma, 6/29/14

Hahahahahaha … no wait, this comic is about how a mother and son are meeting just after the son’s latest casual sexual encounter, much to their mutual disgust, it’s not funny or laughable at all :(

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Beetle Bailey, 6/27/14

I love the way Mrs. Halftrack’s expression of forced gaiety collapses the moment Miss Buxley asks her question. I’m not sure if she was genuinely if briefly happy that something pertaining to her husband could be spun as a positive and that good feeling was genuinely deflated when she had to provide details, or if she’s just slipped into her usual sour mode of marital misanthropy but is secretly pleased to be undermining her husband in public. My guess is the latter, and since she probably views Miss Buxley as a romantic rival based on the General’s delusional reports, she’s all the more excited to relay stories of his terrible incontinence.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/27/14

How quickly Kelly’s facial expression changes from “[DOLLAR SIGNS IN EYEBALLS]” to a wistful “Oh, so … it was that easy, then?” Sorry, Kelly: like Sarah, you’re discovering that life in the Morgans’ orbit means unearned riches, which sounds great until you realize that no pile of cash can fill the space inside where personal pride is supposed to go. She might be reflecting on the irony involved here: this whole journey to becoming Sarah’s blackmail victim/personal assistant/project manager began with her getting a ride on Niki’s motorcycle, and now she doesn’t need Niki or any human affection anymore, because she has Mrs. Pierpont’s limousine and “Bugsy”.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/27/14

Man, women, always going for literary bad boys, am I right?

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Mark Trail, 6/26/14

OH SNAP MARK TRAIL DEFEATED THAT RAMPAGING HIPPO BY SHOVING A FLAMING STICK RIGHT ONTO ITS TONGUE!!! Some half-assed Googling failed to reveal one way or another whether this is an approved anti-hippo combat technique, so I’m going to go ahead and say: yes, it’s totally safe and normal, probably you should put a flaming stick in the mouth of any hippo you see as a precaution, even the ones at the zoo.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/26/14

I assume that Sarah and Kelly’s eerily similar facial expressions translate to something like “C O M P E N $$$$ A T I O N AWWW YEAH GETTIN PAID”

Apartment 3-G, 6/26/14

I don’t understand any of this either, Tommie! You’re saying what we’re all thinking!